Nova's Reign

Realization

NOVA.

"But what if we-"

"No. Bro."

"Maybe we could-"

"Jessie what did I just say."

She stopped talking looking at me like I had grown two heads. I sighed slowly turning my body to face her direction, all while shaking my head in a 'what' motion.

"Look, I don't exactly know what's going on with you but your bring more a of a bitch than usual."

For once jackass was right. I was more of a bitch than usual. I mean sharing a room with her hasn't been too bad. It's all great until she comes back into the room.

But for once I wasn't on a trash ass mood because of Jackass jessie. It was simply because I was hurt. I've been in this place for almost a damn month and not once have I gotten one phone call from my parents.

I ran to the phone everyday for two weeks and waited for a call to come through. I even used my free time sessions to go to the phone instead. But still, I got nothing.

I know you think that I deserve this, that because I threw that big ass tantrum and didn't tell them bye when they left that I wouldn't want to hear anything from them.

But you're wrong. Though I was so resentful and angry towards them and have been practically my whole life... it still hurt my core that they didn't call to say hello. Nothing, from no one. Not even Native. No i love you or we miss you or even get well soon.

I wouldn't have cared if they had just told me hey and hung up, it still would've meant something.

"Look jackass, I'm not too fond of this roommate shit. So Ima say this and Ima say it once."

I got up drawing a line in the middle of the room with a random crayon.

" this, is your side of the room. Under not fucking circumstances may you cross this fucking line. Do you understand me?"

When to room got quiet I stopped what I doing and looked.

"Jessie if you don't take that childish ass shit down. Act like you hear me talking to you. you're just as bad as a fucking  first time parent."

I frowned seeing that she was still taping coloring book pages on the walls. Granted the walls were bare, but this was not about ti he a damn crayon box.

Jessie looked at me comically while rolling eyes and crossing her arms.

"First, you're not talking to me, you're bitching at me. Second, I don't know rainbow don't you think you're a little...much!"

" negative, this is the bare fucking minimum.  I didn't ask to be here! You insisted we be roommates and here we are. So if I gotta stay here I'm gonna make myself comfortable."

Jessie frowned folding her arms over her chest.

"Everything with you is a fucking potty party! We get it nova you hate it here. But let me ask you, who the fuck is here because they actually wanna be. Exactly, no one! So shut the fuck up and PRETEND to like SOMETHING!"

"You wanna talk about yourself nova reign,what about me? What about my comfort and emotional stability? Oh right, YOU DONT FUCKING CARE!"

I laughed with a bitter chuckle.

"What about it? You were jumping for joy when we got roomed together so, if anything you should be the most satisfied right now. you got what the fuck you wanted."

" it's clearly beyond the roommate shit but you can't see that....whatever nova. I'm gonna go to the entertainment room. try to lose the bitch of an attitude you have while I'm gone, yeah?"

" not fucking likely.....You ever ask yourself why the fuck you're so annoying?"

"Just as much as you ask yourself why youre such a bitch. I'll see myself out, thank you."

Jessie rolled her eyes letting the heavy door slam in the way out. Nova couldn't understand why Jessie felt that she would act totally different just because they were roomed together.

How she showcased her self was how she was, there wasn't anything mysterious about it.

LATER

"So, where do you wanna start?" Dr.Collins asked.

I tucked my lips in shaking my head and tapping the arm of the chair. We'd been sitting I. Silence for a total of 20 minutes now and this is the first thing he's asked me. I guess it's some new approach thing.

"I honestly don't have much to say-"

"Well how is your time here going and Jessie-"

I held me hand up haulting his speech.

" please, don't say her name I'm afraid she burst through that damn wall like the look-aid man."

He chuckled shaking his head.

"She nice isn't she?"

"Who jackass? No, she's ducking annoying and hyper as hell. What the hell is she here for anyway."

"She didn't tell you?"

" No which makes me believe that it's some serious hit cause she can't shut up about everything else."

He paused and shook his head regaining focus and asking me the same question. That was fucking weird.

"So nova, how has your time been."

"Collins. Y'all monitor my every move. You know how my time has been, hell you might even know what I'm gonna do before I think of it."

He chuckled, looking at me before saying,

"Bryan told me you were upset... have been for the past few days."

I sighed rolling my eyes and crossing my arms. I can't believe this shit actually hurts. I mean I've felt abandoned by them my entire life so I really don't see why the fuck everything feels so different now.

"Whatever, he doesn't know what he's talking about."

Dr.Collins sighed putting down his note book and taking off his glasses.

"Nova it's okay to be upset. You have all the right to be they haven't called since they dropped you off here."

"What?"

I looked at him in confusion. Ofcourse I noticed that they didn't call at all this past week. But I don't think anything about them not calling at all... I can't believe I didn't even notice that.

"Nova... I'm sorry but, they told us that they wouldn't be reaching out to you until you finished. They-"

I tuned him out. There it was that feeling. My test is getting tighter and the dark space is getting bigger, suffocating me with its emptiness.The hurt, the abandonment, the anger, the fear. They left me. They gave up on me....

Before I good even register what the fuck I was feeling I let out a heart wrenching sob. A sob so string that it took all the breath that I had left. My body automatically began to curl and hunch over as I was overcome with emotion.

I have never felt to so.... Alone, until this moment.

I finally knew what it felt like to be completely,

EMPTY.