A Little Big Crush

Waiting

His visits became infrequent. He still messaged Dinah; their communication didn't stop. But he didn't message her every day. A nervous energy grew inside her, a small pit in her stomach forming as the realization that he probably wasn't interested in her grew. As she laid on her bed, looking through her phone on a lazy Saturday afternoon, her anxiety grew, forcing her to visualize Dario talking with someone else, texting another girl, and hanging out with them.

She HAD to know. So what better way to find out than look through his Facebook profile? She clicked on him. She hadn't looked through his profile in awhile, since the day he friend requested her, actually.

Dario didn't update his page much. All his updates were politically based and very few were of pictures of himself.  She checked his friends page to see who he added recently.

Her eyes focused on two names- two girls with really pretty selfie pics. She clicked on the first girl's picture and immediately went to the comments section on her latest profile picture post, which thankfully was public.

Dinah took a deep breath. Dario liked it. Of course, that could've meant anything. Maybe they were just friends and it was platonic. Maybe the girl was the girlfriend of a friend of his.

She clicked on her About page and saw that she was single. Damn. She then scrolled through the girl's other pictures and saw that the latest three (including the first one she just looked at) were liked by Dario. He didn't leave a comment though.

Returning to Dario's page, she clicked on his latest profile picture which was posted last week. Dinah inhaled deeply as she sat up in bed, making the bed creak in the process. That only made her remember the night he spent in her bed, where his movements made the bed creak and the headpost bang uncontrollably. Just the split second thought of that made her core ache for him. She couldn't lose him. She couldn't lose that wonderful, magical feeling she experienced every time she was around him, every time she thought of him.

The girl liked his picture. She didn't leave a comment though. Dinah let out a shaky breath.

Stop feeling this way, she thought. Maybe you're blowing this out of proportion like you always do. Stop jumping to conclusions. Liking pictures and friending each other doesn't mean much in this day and age.

She tossed the phone on her bed and ran both hands through her hair and lowered her head so it looked as if her palms cradled her forehead. Dinah was half-surprised, half-wasn't when a tear rolled down her cheeks.

She hated this feeling of not knowing, of having to play Nancy Drew through social interactions on social media. Thank God social media didn't exist when she was in high school, she would be an uncontrollable, nervous wreck. Coming to conclusions based on who her high school crush interacted with, seeing pictures of him and his girlfriend. With the memory of how dramatic Dinah was in high school and middle school, she didn't think she could've survived having all that private information on the tips of your fingers.

But now in her 30's, she wasn't crying uncontrollably or lamenting how ugly she was or how life wasn't fair and she definitely wasn't hating on the girl, either. That was all of the things she would've done if she was younger. She wiped the tear from her cheek. Now, she was going to think about this rationally, and take her emotional state as the effect of having slept with him and falling in love with him.

Quickly looking through his friends list again, she clicked on the other girl he recently added and after searching through her profile, saw that she was single as well and that he liked a picture she posted.

Dinah noticed similarities between the two girls. Both of them had long, extremely black hair, big lips, slim stomach, big butt, overdrawn eyebrows, and showed off their bodies with tight, revealing clothing. The complete opposite of Dinah.