A Little Big Crush

Watching Her

I stared at her all night. Her long, brown hair flowed like a river down her back and I ached to run my fingers through it. My heart skipped a beat from the moment I saw her walk right through the door.

She had met another woman for dinner. From my observation, they did not seem like lovers, but friends, lightly hugging each other in greeting. From what I could tell, their conversation started out lighthearted, with the girl who caught my eye smiling and even laughing once. But just as I was about to smile as well, their faces became drawn and they inched closer together. I ached to know what they were talking about and instinctively leaned in closer from my viewpoint to try to catch what they were saying. But when I realized it was futile and I wasn't going to overhear anything, my body relaxed and I took a huge sip of my beer.

Roberto was late, as always. Now I was spending my night at my usual Friday night hangout alone and drooling over a hot chick. But she wasn't like all the other hot chicks, especially the ones that always hang around my brother's place- big tits, big asses, and three clicks away from finding them on a porn site. His ex-girlfriend was just the same- the typical, loudmouthed- hoochie mama that I couldn't stand. She was also mean as hell and I was so glad that I didn't have to put up with her at family get- togethers anymore.

But this girl...she was just my type. Nice and sweet-looking...a completely normal- looking girl who, from the way she dressed, looked like a professional.

Damn, I  wished I could go up to her right now and introduce myself. But how crazy was that? I never had the suave or charisma that some of my buddies have or even my heartbreaker brother. My last girlfriend was the one who made a move on me, which I eagerly went along with since she was so outgoing and bubbly.

Natascha didn't turn out to be the one, though I thought she could be for a long time. But the girl that I couldn't take my eyes off of right this moment, the girl who made my body flush with heat and my stomach do somersaults was the first girl that made me want to just get up and go to her, be near her.

What was wrong with me?

"Yo, what up?" Roberto yelled, plopping himself down on the stool next to me. "Getting out here from the boonies is such a mission. Miami traffic is the worse."         

He glanced around at the place and shook his head. "Dude, weird place to pick to watch the game. We should've gone to Duffy's."

"No way. I'm sick of that place," I said, cringing as Roberto's voice boomed over the yells echoing around the bar as the Broncos scored their twentieth touchdown.

Roberto whistled, and the tall bartender with huge biceps bulging out of his too- tight shirt raced over to us. "Hey, can I get a budweiser?"

The beefy guy nodded, opened up a beer bottle with a flick of the bottle opener, and slid it to Roberto.

I flicked a glance over at her, half-hoping, half-dreading her looking over and seeing him. If she made eye contact with me, would she be just as attracted to me as I was to her, or would she look away as if she had never seen me? Not giving me a second thought. Most girls did. I considered myself to be an average looking guy, not ugly, but not the kind of dude that girls liked or fantasized about. My brother had a way of getting girls that I really don't have. Throughout the years, he's given me many pointers, but I just don't have the mojo that he has.

Maybe this girl was different. She seemed like the kind of woman who wouldn't fall for my brother's shit.

"Who're you looking at? The girl with the jeans?" Roberto said, his gaze following where mine obviously was.

Damn, I didn't want him to know. I didn't need him to know how much this stranger was physically affecting me.

"Nah, I was just looking around."

Roberto rolled his eyes and nodded slowly, obviously not buying my shit. "Right, dude. You've been staring at that girl since I sat down, maybe before. She's hot, your kind of chick. You gonna make a move?"

I downed the last of my beer and slammed it louder than I intended to on the bar. " You serious? In a restaurant? It's not done."

"Sure it is. You can buy them a drink. That'll at least get her and her friend to come over to say thank you," Roberto suggested.

" Yeah, I can."  That's not a bad idea, but I have to build up my courage first. "Another drink and then I'll do it."

My best friend laughed, "So that's a no. Man, by the time you decide to do it, she'll be out the door."

Half an hour later, after I ordered my second drink and savored the cool liquid in my mouth, talked about stupid stuff with my pal, caught a bit of the game, and kept glancing over at the girl, who had just finished eating her chicken and rice, I decided to just do it.

"Okay, I'm going to buy them drinks," I said, quickly grabbing a drink menu. I noticed that her friend ordered two glasses of wine and the girl had a big glass of something that either looked like a very light colored Coke or iced tea. So what kind of drink would she like?

Maybe she would like a beer?No, she didn't seem like the type.  A Margarita? Shit.  I was always horrible with fruity, cocktails drinks. Just give me a whiskey or beer and I'm good.

I raised my hand, trying to get the bartender's attention. Well, really any one of the three that were serving patrons.

"Oye, Necesito some service around here" I yelled, hoping my fake- tough cuban guy would finally get his attention. The buff dude immediately turned to me. Perfect. Around here, that attitude always worked.

"Another round?" he asked.

"No," I looked over at Roberto and he nodded, silently telling me to continue. " I want to order drinks for those two girls over there. " I pointed to where my dream girl and her friend sat, and my stomach plummeted when I saw them get up to leave.

"Ooh," the guy said. "Tough luck. They're leaving." He smiled at me and  leaned over the countertop and said in a low voice, "I can get my girl Amerys to call them back. Say you want to meet them."

Deep inside, I would love for that to happen, but how pathetic would that look?

"Nah, forget it," I said, closing the drink menu and sliding it back in the holder.

Roberto punched my arm lightly. "Dude, you totally missed your chance. Now they're walking out the door."

I looked over at my dream girl for what I knew would be the last time and saw her smile and lightly kiss her friend on the cheek as they said their farewells for the evening. That smile- a sweet, innocent smile that was full of genuine care and happiness- a smile that I didn't see often in this fake, loud, sometimes over the top city was something that I would cherish for a long time.

Never in my life would I admit this to my friend or anyone. Too sappy. But in the deep recesses of my mind, I would regret not making a move sooner and not getting to talk to her or hear her voice. 

Before I could even get the courage to do something crazy like run after her, tell her I thought she was beautiful and couldn't stop staring at her, that I wanted to know her, and to not think me weird or a stalker, she disappeared amidst the crowd outside.

I sighed, and though I played it off to my friend and shrugged, continuing to talk about the game or other crap, I couldn't get my mind off of the only woman my body has ever strongly responded to. In my mind, I placed the image of her on my imaginary shelf of "Could have beens."