Christmas with the Calvins

Chapter Sixty-Three

"Jessica Calvin to Santa's office please!" Jess quickened her pace when she heard her father's voice calling for her through the workshop loudspeakers. It was still six months before Christmas but she was already feeling the pressure of the holiday season. As it turned out, being Keeper of the Christmas Handbook was a lot more work than Curtis ever made it out to be.

For starters she was actually expected to tote the ridiculously oversize book everywhere she went. She didn't think it was possible for something so big to be heavier than it looked. On top of that, Jess felt as if she couldn't ever accomplish a single task because she was constantly running from one end of the workshop to the other. Who knew the elves needed the Keeper of the Handbook to settle so many disputes? Jessica, what does the handbook say is the proper tinsel to pine needle ratio? Jessica, how may chocolate chips belong on a perfect cookie? Jess, what does the Handbook say are the official rules to tinsel football? It was enough to drive any elf crazy!

"You wanted to see me, Dad?" She panted when she reached Santa's office. "Oh, hey, Carol." She forced a smile even though she was out of breath.

"Hey Princess, you ok?" Scott and Carol both watched her with concerned eyes, but Jess waved them off.

"I'm fine! I've got a full list of new toys to test out before lunch, Judy needs me to find some glutton free cookie recipe in this thing..." She paused long enough to flop the Christmas Handbook on her father's desk. "And when I tried to ask Curtis about it, he was all worked up about not being able to get into the Head Elf's safe. Apparently Bernard used to keep an important checklist in there and Curtis used to have a copy but he's lost it. And of course Bernard doesn't remember the combination so Curtis expects me to figure it...and none of this is what you wanted to talk to me about. I'm sorry."

"If this is a bad time..." Carol frowned.

"No, no!" Jess shook her head. "I get the impression this is a family thing. I always have time for family stuff." She insisted.

"Well that's great honey, because we're going to need all the help we can get since our family is about to get a little bigger." Scott smiled.

"Bigger how?" Jess tilted her head to the side. She was so tired that her brain wasn't functioning properly.

"I'm Pregnant!" Carol burst out excitedly. It took a second for the word to register in Jess' mind. Pregnant? Pregnant!

"That's amazing news!" She squealed in delight. First she threw her arms around Carol, and then dragged her father into the hug. "I'm so happy for you guys!" She mumbled, squished together between her father and step-mother.

"This will be so great! Nick and Noel will have someone to play with, you guys won't have to worry about a babysitter because Bernard...Bernard." The name caught in her throat. All things considered Jess had been handing her husband's two-year-long memory loss exceptionally well. For the most part she had even gotten used to the New Bernard, but every once in a while something would happen to remind her of the elf she has once fallen in love with. "Bernard loved babies." She could feel the tears brimming in her eyes. "Congratulations again Dad, Carol. I'm sorry but I've got to get back to work." Jess dragged her Handbook off the desk and started trudging back towards the Workshop.

"Jessie?" Her dad called out her name in a half-whisper. She looked over her shoulder and mustered up the best smirk she could manage. "Hey what do ya say we go to the movies tonight, just the two of us? We haven't done something alone in a long time. It'll be like the good old days."

"Sounds great Dad."' She said quietly. "I'll come by later tonight after work, okay?"

"See you then, Princess." He smiled as his daughter left the office.

Ooof. Jessica grunted once the large glass doors of Santa's office closed behind her. She used to love Christmas. When she was really small it was the only time her parents didn't fight. After they were divorced the holidays were a special treat. A little oasis out of the year where everyone was finally together again, even if it was just for one night. After Scott became Santa she really thought everyone was all the better for it. Her dad finally had something he was passionate about. He'd repaired the rift between he and Charlie that had been growing like a fungus; slowly and without anyone really noticing until it was almost too late.

Mom and Neil were also happier. With the pressure of having to always be the "grown up" parents lifted from their shoulders, they were able to have a much better relationship with Charlie and Jessica. Jess had gone from avoiding her step father's presence whenever possible, to accepting him as an irreplaceable member of the family. Then of course there had been Bernard. Stressed, stubborn, unwavering Bernard. He had taught his wife so many amazing things, but she never noticed until he was gone and it was too late to thank him.

Now a days, things felt so different. Everyone was scattered, living their own lives. Charlie was practically an adult with his own life. Laura and Neil had Lucy to think of. Lucy, being sixteen years or so younger than her older sister and about ten years younger than Charlie, was being raised a completely different way. She was a member of a completely different generation. Scott and Carol had each other now, the picture perfect Mr. and Mrs. Claus, with a baby on the way.

And Jessica. Well, she was a mother herself. She should be happy for the little life she'd made for herself at the Pole. Instead, she couldn't help but notice the small nag in the back of her mind. While the rest of the Calvin clan had managed to put their rocky past behind them, Jess couldn't help but feel like she was trapped. "New Bernard" had done his best to fill the void his old self had left behind and she really wished that were enough. She'd spent two years trying to make it enough. But the situation felt too familiar. It was her own parents' marriage all over again. She was terrified she was going to force her two kids into the broken home life she herself had been running from for so long.