Christmas with the Calvins

Chapter Sixty-Seven

While the rest of the elves were sent off to turn the North Pole into a façade of Canadian Toy Factory, Scott dragged Jess and Curtis into his meeting with the legendary figures. It wasn't like the members of the council to call an emergency meeting a week before a major holiday. Whatever had brought them there, couldn't be a good thing. Santa wanted to have his two tops elves along for support. Jess and Curtis had thought it a good idea considering how upset Carol had been lately. They wanted to do their best to help with Christmas until either the holiday was finished or the baby was born.

The council was, as always, a team of gracious guests. They had assembled themselves quietly in the kitchen around a long stainless-steel counter top. Mother Nature and Father Time stood at the head of the counter talking quietly to each other as everyone else filed in. Sandman was already there, curled up against the cool metal surface. His head was resting on his hands while he snoozed. The Easter Bunny claimed the seat next to him. He adjusted his bowtie and looked around the kitchen excitedly. It wasn't too often the Council met outside of Santa's Office when they were at the North Pole.

Across from the Easter Bunny sat the Tooth Fairy. He'd seen most of the North Pole four Christmases ago when he'd helped Santa, Charlie and Mrs. Claus each get back there from Chicago. Unlike the other Legendary Figures he often stopped by the Pole for unscheduled social visits and felt right at home in the bright and cheery kitchen. Cupid was fluttering around the group, hovering here or there lazily as he waited for Santa to arrive. Scott took the only empty seat, between the Tooth Fairy and Father Time. Jess and Curtis stood behind him, both keeping a watchful eye on the kitchen as Mother Nature called the meeting to order.

"Santa," Mother Nature sighed. "We thought you should see this." From between herself and Father Time, she produced a cardboard cut-out of Jack Frost, the Herald of Winter. In the cut-out, Frost was wearing his usual icy blue suite and a sash. The sash stretched from shoulder to hip and read 'MERRY FROSTMAS."

"Silver Bells!" Scott exclaimed in disappointment. He knew Jack had been getting carried away lately, but this was too much.

"I found 270 of them in shopping malls scattered across the Northwest." Mother Nature shook her head disapprovingly. "I hereby call this special meeting of the Council of Legendary Figures to order. Sandman!" She slammed her hand down on the counter startling the Sandman awake.

"I'm up! I'm up!" He said, suddenly very alert.

"This is ridiculous!" Scott mumbled.

"Our first, and only, order of business is the disciplinary action to be taken against council member Jack Frost."

"Now that's what I'm talking about!" Frost came sauntering over from somewhere unknown. He was wearing the exact same outfit as his cardboard standee, the only difference being a pair of blue sunglasses shading his eyes. He had clearly been hiding somewhere to make and entrance and draw even more attention to himself. Jess rolled her eyes at Curtis. She never much cared for the guy before she knew he was real. Turns out the actual Jack Frost was so much more to handle than humans realized.

"Jack, you are hereby charged with 273 counts of attempted upstaging of Santa Clause!" Mother Nature sneered without sympathy. Jack pointed at himself in faux confusion. Surely, she couldn't be talking about him! "You froze a volcano in Hawaii, you made it snow in the amazon, and you frosted Mexico sending all of the geese North for the winter! You have violated the Legendary Figures Code of Conduct in a way that is both willful and malicious!"

"Excuse me," Jack began with a smile. "Did you just accuse me of being skillful and delicious? Guilty as charged!" He added cheekily.

"Oh please!" Scott groaned from his seat.

"Frost!" Farther Time hissed. "You herald a season! You're not a holiday!"

"You're the best friend, you're not the leading man!" The Tooth Fairy agreed.

"And you kill fruit!" The Easter Bunny tossed in.

"All in favor of suspending Jack Frost from the Legendary Council, Please say..." Father Time began, all around the table hands were being raised. First the Tooth Fairy and then the Sandman.

"Wait a minute! Wait a minute!" Jack interrupted. "Father Time wait a minute! You don't understand, I have enormous untapped potential but all I am year after year is an opening act."

"Jack!" Scott folded his arms over his chest. For a minute, it felt like the old days when he would give one of his kids a lecture about their behavior. "Why don't you let it go, we have the same conversation every year..."

"No, no, no!" Jack insisted. "You let it go! You get the soda cans, and you get the TV specials, and you get the postage stamps and the billboards, and the beautiful adoring wife, the charming family, and-and the army of toy building yes men!" He pointed over Santa's shoulder where Jess and Curtis were to emphasize his point. "What do I get? A few running noses and some dead citrus!"

"You know Jack," Scott slammed his hands on the table and jumped to his feet. This caused Jess, Curtis and the others in the room to jump as well. No one other than Jessica could ever remember seeing Santa truly mad before. Even for his daughter it had been sometime since she'd seen him so worked up.

"It's no picnic being me either!" Scott exclaimed. "Because of our production problems an entire continent might go without presents this year! That's right!" He looked around the table at the other council members. "And on top of that, I've gotta protect the Secret of Santa this year, because the in-laws; oh boy the in-laws! Mr. & Mrs. In-a-bad-mood-every-time-I-turn-around are coming to the North Pole! They're not supposed to be at the North Pole, so I gotta come up with some solution for that and! And! On top of that I'm a tad bit worried about being a father again since I wasn't all that good at it the first time!" Scott huffed his final words before flopping back down into his chair.

"Oh Santa, we had no idea." Mother Nature said.

"You know if it were me in the red suit," Cupid yawned. "I'd probably go right to the Escape Clause."

"Oh no," Scott shook his head. "The Escape Clause would be too extreme."

Escape Clause?" Jess mouthed to Curtis curiously before looking it up in her Christmas Handbook.

"Escape Clause? What's that again?" Jack Frost was wondering the same thing.

"Maybe if you'd attend a meeting once in a while, you'd know!" Father Time sniggered.

"Look, look!" Scott interrupted. "I'm not invoking the Escape Clause! I made a commitment. I'll handle the toys and I'll be there when my wife delivers our baby."

"Let me help." Jack offered.

"You've done quite enough already." Father Time insisted.

"No, no, no," Frost disagreed. "Instead of a suspension, how about community service? What if I tutor myself at the elbow of the master? You know, I could lend a hand. Make some toys, wrap a few presents. If-if I don't make it with the hefty man here then he says the word and you suspend me. I-I know I don't deserve another chance but I am asking you for one. I want to make things right."

Scott took a minute to consider the idea. They really could use the help at the Pole. But was Jack Frost more trouble than his help would be? He looked over his shoulder at Jess and Curtis. While his daughter was shaking her head "no" his Head Elf was nodding "yes." Slightly unsure of himself, he decided to go with Curtis' advice.

"Alright, you don't want to get suspended? I'll give you one more chance. But you have to be a Jack Frost of all trades. You also have to listen to the elves. Curtis and Jess are your bosses. Now I mean it. If there is one, one, icicle out of place you are gone!"

"I will not let you down." Frost promised with a chilly smile.

"Motion carried." Mother Nature agreed and the meeting was officially ended.