Enough

E15: Safe Haven

Dear Andrei,

A Letter for My Greatest Love

I was purely devastated when i decided to let you go, I was depressed, anxious and mad about my quarter life crisis added to the existing self worth dilemma that I already have. Making a lot of reason to convinced myself that I am better on my own.

That I am no better and you don't deserve an insecure and anxious person like me. Not realizing that it will be one of my greatest regrets in my life. I dated a lot of guys just to prove that you are not the one I love and I need. Only to prove that you are my safe haven. I spent almost two years telling myself that I just want you to be happy because i don't deserve you and you deserve much better person than I am.

Yet, my conclusion is proven. You deserve better because I am coward to accept that you are far beyond the best.  You deserve better because I was too coward to beg just like the way you did. When you never messaged me anymore because i was too busy convincing myself that i deserve all the pain i am receiving with the person who can't even see my worth. And now that i can see you successful and happy with your new love.

I can only zip my lips and wish for your happy ending while I sit here with pinch at my heart because I know I need not to get a hold you anymore. Here I am afraid of the unknown. Afraid of the future and afraid of my own.

Today, I am letting you go. But I promise you, I will be the girl you thought I am. I will be better, not for anyone but for myself.

You will always be my "Greatest Love" but I am happy you found you "True Love"

Dealing with your brother isn't easy.

That's me.

Dealing with a table or a different day to be available.

So what?

"Mr. Lee is waiting for you outside." - Justin

He is the person I know that I'm a part-time waitress to his company.

"Ms. Warren and Mr. Yu is always here. Isn't that what you want?"

Time flies.

He always has a sense of caution about me.

"She's not here." - Justin

Did you know that I have been hiding from your brother?

Gifts are meant to be given.

Isn't?

I do have a good time with you.

"Hon, take a look for him." - Mikael

"Let's have a some picture." - Mikael

I was sorry fo you.

But things happened differently with me.

A playground.

A pleasant day.

A good time with Mr. Mikael Wayne.

Isn't?

Now that I have Syrene.

I'm happy and scared with it.

I hate your brother for being dick.

Kidding aside.

He manage me like I have to go out with him.

"So, are you with me Whitney Wayne?" - Mikael

"Who's that guy waiting outside?" - Jose

"He's waiting for me."

It's up to me now.

Days and even months had passed like yesterday.

"Drink with me?" - Mikael

I smiled.

My name is filled with sarcasm.

Liza and Mikael when to my place.

That day.

I sleep with no worries at all.

I was wondering just how much time they stayed.

After that.

I'm happy to know that I'm grateful to have them both.

Aren't?

My gift for you is fine.

In my room, the gift is hanging there.

In a paper bag.

He chose silence between Liza and me.

He chose Liza over me.

He changed his mind over me.

That's it.

My name has the same page.

Shame.

Guilt.

Annoyance.

Burning desire.

Isn't?

I have been trying hard again.

To regain my life again.

To make sure that everything will work out for me.

So, I want you to know that I'm not regretting anything about your brother.

He make my life easier.

Isn't?

He made me feel like I was enough.

I didn't know if I should be careful with my life.

The thing is.

Even if I manage to get my life back.

His not coming back with me.

Isn't?

Only Marie and Justin knows about it.

Because I'm confused.

I'm being true to myself.

I hate that I let him go.

I hate that I have been thinking about him.

I hate myself to give way to Liza.

I hate myself more dealing with Mr. Lee.

I hate that I could make it.

Haunting me to death.

Isn't that I want.

I want him back with my Syrene.

I want him to think about me.

I want Liza to give way to me.

I want Mr. Lee divorce my mom.

Dealing with the reason.

Isn't working anymore.

Now that I have a good life with Syrene.

I don't want him to interfere again.

I don't want to negotiate with them.

I do acknowledge the reason Mr. Lee and my mom is just like a love birds couple.

Should I get back with your brother?

Or shouldn't?

From "needy" Whitney