MATTHEW
Tell me something I don't already know!
STEVE
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.
MATTHEW
I know that already!
STEVE
I pick my nose and eat it.
JESSICA
(appalled) Dude!
While JESSICA is looking at STEVE with disgust, MATTHEW lunges forward and grabs his deadly swords. He wields them, triumphantly.
MATTHEW
Prepare to die, you forgetful carrot!
JESSICA
No please! All I did was rob a bunch of elderly ladies!
RAYMOND enters, unseen by any of the others.
MATTHEW
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those elderly ladies were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Matthew Bishop defender of innocent elderly ladies.
JESSICA
Don't hurt me! Please!
MATTHEW
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these swords on you right away!
JESSICA
Because Matthew, I am your mother.
