Three Girls From The Valley

Someone Slowly Slip Away

"I'm not the eldest, what do you mean Mom?" Este asks,

"Before we had you honey we had a little baby girl Hannah." Donna says,

"What? I...I don't understand, Hannah?" Este says in disbelief,

"Yes Este a baby girl named Hannah." Donna repeats herself,

"Well where's Hannah now Mom?" Este asks,

"She died before you were born honey." Donna softly tells her.

"Oh Mom I'm so, so sorry, why didn't you tell us?" Este asks as she moves around to sit next to her mother,

"Your father and myself decided a long time ago it was best not to tell you what had happened as we wanted to save you from the hurt we went through."  Donna tells her, 

"What happened? How did she die Mom?" Este whispers as she hugs her Mom even tighter,

"We had been excited to start a family and your father was so over joyed when I told him I was pregnant. But there was a complication with the pregnancy and your sister was born at twenty six weeks, she was the most beautiful baby girl, everything seemed to be all good for the first ten days and then I noticed she was more sleepy then she had been, I mean she wasn't crying like she had been and her little tummy looked bloated, your father said I was just being a new mom and worrying over nothing, but deep down I just knew something wasn't right." Donna says wiping her tears away, "When I mentioned my concerns to the doctors they started doing tests on Hannah and rushed her into surgery, but half an hour after they had taken her away the doctor came out and told us some kind of infection had caused her intestines to die and there was nothing further they could do. She was the perfect little angel, my little angel, two arms and legs, ten tiny fingers and toes, if you had seen her you would've fallen in love with her."

"I don't know what to say Mom except again I'm so sorry," Este says, "It's just like so surreal to think I'm actually not the oldest, I have...had an older sister, I mean we're always joking about which of our friends is the fourth Haim sister but to find out we really did have another sister, it's a lot to take in."

"I know honey and I'm sorry we never talked about Hannah to you girls."

"Hannah it's such a pretty name Mom and I'm sure she would've been the best big sister, I'm just sorry we never got to meet her." Este replies, "I can sort of understand Dad not liking hospitals but he should still be visiting Danielle more often."

"No honey you don't understand, your father was devastated losing Hannah. So was I. The nurse brought her back from the surgery wrapped up in a soft pale pink blanket and we gratefully got to spend another five precious hours with her, we sat together just holding her, talking and singing to her, the nurse came in and took a couple of photos of us together before she peacefully died in your father's loving arms. No one knows what it's like to lose a child until it happens to you, losing Hannah felt like losing my whole world, it felt like all the colour and music was ripped from my soul and nothing was left, your Father is the only thing that somehow managed to keep me going, I wanted to die, I felt like I had nothing left to live for Este."

Este sat crying, holding her Mother's hands as Donna kept talking.

"Your Father kept his own grief to himself, and focused on helping me through my pain. I still don't think he's ever really come to term with losing Hannah which is why he is struggling now with Danielle, I need you to just be there for your Father honey please and don't push him too hard about visiting Danielle. He deals with things in his own way and time." Donna explains.

"Knowing what's been going on don't worry Mom I'm here for the both of you and I promise I'll stop hassling Dad." Este tells her,

"Thank you honey, your Father is a good man and without his love and support things could've been so much different but thankfully we stayed together and three years later we were blessed with you. Actually when you were born I refused to let you out of my sight, I used to spend nearly every night watching you sleep as I held you in my arms," Donna says before kissing Este's cheek. 

"I love you Mom." Este sobs.