Legendary // H.S

25.

'I heard you on the phone last night

We live and die by pretty lies'

*

With the windows in my flat open, I can hear the bustling streets of East London below. The honking horns of impatient taxi drivers, bellowing calls from market stalls, hypnotising music of passers by that walk with a jukebox on their shoulders. A subtle breeze follows, chilling the air around me so I have to pull my cardigan tighter, but it also carries in the scents of street food vendors and fruit and veg stalls. It's a welcome reminder that I'm still alive, that Hugo hadn't succeeded yet. Every sense is tingling, working overtime as I focus on each element around me to try and hold on to the smallest fragments of normality while I still can.

Harry dropped me off this morning as promised but zoomed away shortly after. He gave no indication what his day will consist of, but I assume it's to deal with our problem. After our activities last night, I went back to my room. Harry told me I could stay if I wanted, echoing the words I spoke to him the last time we found ourselves in bed together, but in truth I needed to be alone to try and wrap my head around what had happened.

I've never been so bold and forthright before. Something came over me, though. Maybe it's the adrenaline of knowing my life is at stake and not wanting to waste another minute not taking risks. One thing is for sure: I didn't regret it. How could I when it felt so good? Everything about it exceeded my expectations and for that reason I couldn't stop thinking about it. The best part about it is that unlike the other times, it hasn't been awkward since.

Harry cooked me breakfast this morning, spoke to me like normal, and we even joked around in the car before agreeing when we'd next see each other. He said he'd be in touch and gave my thigh a quick squeeze as I opened the door to climb out the vehicle. When his hand was on my leg I froze, that same spark of electricity jolting me just like every other time he's touched me. It wasn't inherently sexual, though. Instead, the gesture felt like a kind act of reassurance. That didn't stop the dirty thoughts that whizzed through my mind after, however.

It's like something has been awakened in us. A can of worms opened that we'll struggle with closing. The thing is, I don't see why we should, not when it's so much fun. He once asked me what's life without a little risk. I'm just testing that theory. There's no harm in that. We're both attracted to each other, and if it weren't for his wounds we probably would have had sex already, but in all honesty I'm enjoying this game of teasing we're playing, building up to it but never stepping over the edge and giving ourselves to each other completely. I don't know whether we'll reach that point, but at the rate we're going I hope it's soon.

It's no secret that the man drives me insane. He's infuriatingly smug and annoying. An inherently bad person by all accords. A criminal and a thief. Yet, I can't get enough of him. Despite how much I loathe him, he excites me like no other. Harry has tested my limits in the best way, even if it has led to my imminent demise. But, when he said last night that he would try to make sure no one else hurt me again, I believed him. It felt sincere and honest, which is all I've asked for since day one.

Perhaps I'm a fool for trusting him. There's no turning back.

Once I got in I showered and changed into some comfortable clothes; just a pair of leggings and an oversized shirt. Harry's t-shirt is sat on my bed. I need to wash it, but I don't want his scent to disappear. Although it's barely there after being worn by myself for the past two days, I could still smell hints of it. It comforted me in the night when I found myself still unable to sleep. The night before I slept like a log, probably because the adrenaline had been replaced with exhaustion, but last night, the anxiety came back and every time I closed my eyes my worst nightmares came to be.