Legendary // H.S

12.

'He's a god, he's a man

He's a ghost, he's a guru'

*

It's been three weeks since I agreed to join the Municipal. Three weeks of research, research and more research. Whenever I'm not working, the diamond is all I think about. I've barely slept, hardly ate, all I can focus on is holding that stone in my hand. Harry never specifically said if I'd be able to handle it once he stole it, if he ever managed to do it, but he's a fool if he thinks I won't fight him on it. If I'm really going to help a bunch of criminals, become one myself, then I want a slice of the pie. This is a prize for all of us, sure, but for me this is a miracle.

Cathy has noticed that my mind has been elsewhere. Most days I barely talk, always thinking about the Cullinan. I could never tell her what's going on, if I do then I'll just make her complicit, and that's the last thing she needs when she's raising a kid on her own. Her ex-husband hasn't made her life easy the past few weeks, threatening to take her to court over custody if she doesn't allow him to take their son on holiday for two weeks. I've been there as much as I can, but I know nothing of these things. I have so little experience in life.

Even when I saw Dad last weekend he picked up on my distance. We spoke for a bit about the diamond, considering he'd know more than me, having worked with the Queen's jewellers for most of his life. Most of what he said I already knew, though. He wasn't lucid, either. Again, he thought I was mum. He had no ideas how much it stung every time he referred to me as Eileen. Of course, he can't help it. I will never hold a grudge against him for it, but I can't deny how much it hurts to hear.

I had no idea when this heist would go ahead, but now that I could admit to myself that I wanted to be a part of it, it's all I could think about. Harry believed in my potential, probably more than anyone else I'd ever met. Regardless of why he's rubbing my ego, it feels good to be appreciated for my work.

Today was not a day to be staring at jewels, though. I'd booked the day off on Harry's request, the first time in years I've done so. I have nothing but my work to look forward to otherwise, which is as depressing as it sounds. He was vague about the details, only telling me that we were meeting another member of the team, someone I hadn't been introduced to yet. I asked why I needed to come along for this, his response was that he wanted me to be as comfortable as possible when working on this project. Considering I'd been kept in the dark so far, it was nice to hear that he was thinking of me and wanted me to be involved in something other than research for once.

We hadn't bickered in a while; I'd decided to keep my questions at bay until he felt like telling me things. It drove me crazy not knowing what was going on, but I knew that he'd tell me eventually. That's what he kept insisting on anyway. That, and I knew that whenever we argued something came over me, thoughts I couldn't get out of my head, and it was obvious he felt the same. They had to be kept at bay. Our hands had to remain to ourselves, our words locked away.

London is slightly warmer today, the spring temperatures picking up and green returning to the trees that line the streets. It's slightly busy still, the last of the morning rush of commuters arriving at work to start the day in their menial and mundane office jobs. Harry and I chatted only slightly on the way into the city. He actually insisted on taking the tube today, the first time since I'd joined the team. There was no radio to cover the silence, only the echoing jolts of the London underground as we stole quick looks from one another.

After he held me by the throat the other week, there were small imprints of his fingers on my neck, but nothing too noticeable. Every time I walk past a mirror I can't help but look at the reflection and lightly graze my hands over them, images of the incident flashing in my head. The way his lips felt as they brushed across my skin, to his grip on me. I hated how much I enjoyed it. It meant nothing, of course, just a momentary lapse of judgement as we both got too heated in the moment. Harry, though tolerable most of the time, is a thorn in my side. We get angry too easily and take it out on each other. He's clearly never had anyone tell him no, and I'm done with being the type of girl that easily says yes to people.