All About Me, Myself and I

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2021!!

Ermm, hye I guess.

So, aku nak cerita tentang kejadian yang dah berlaku dekat aku sepanjang tahun 2020 supaya aku takkan lupa semua benda yang dah terjadi dekat aku. Mampus arr dah lewat pun. HAHAHAHAHAH. Sebelum tu HAPPY NEW YEAR 2021!! I really hope this year is a better year for me and for everyone.

Okay, so banyak kejadian yang terjadi dekat aku sepanjang tahun 2020. Aku tahu bukan aku seorang tapi orang lain juga. 

2020 is the worst year for everyone yet give and teach us something about life. Ada hikmah juga semua benda ni terjadi especially the Corona things.

Pada bulan Januari dan Februari 2020, perjalanan hidup aku macam biasa. Nothing happened at that time. I was happy with my friends, my family and with my  life.

Pada bulan Mac hingga Mei/Jun(I don't remember), we had to quarantine at home for our safety and others safety too because of Covid-19 disease. Semua budak sekolah kena belajar dari rumah, pekerja-pekerja ada yang diberhentikan kerja kerana kekangan ekonomi. I'm not gonna lie but online class are sucks. We don't understand what we are learning. It's hard (for me) to ask my teachers whenever I don't understand what they are teaching. When we in classroom, we can asked them directly.

Sepanjang PKP, I almost have depression. Almost everynight I cried because of family matter. pernah satu malam tu aku cubit diri aku sendiri sampai lebam. Hampir dua bulan aku nangis tiap-tiap malam sampai satu tahap aku nak letak pisau bawah bantal aku. Aku dah rasa lost gila masa tu. Masa tu aku hanya fikir nak end kan life aku je, biar semua orang tak terbeban dengan aku. Tapi Alhamdulillah, iman aku masih kuat. Aku tak buat benda tu. Yang paling teruk pun aku just cubit lengan aku sampai lebam. Tu pun tak rasa sakit. Sumpah aku kata tak rasa sakit pun walaupun aku dah tekan. Aku pernah terfikir, "Kalau aku cubit tak rasa sakit, mesti kalau aku guna pisau pun tak sakit." Aku tahu tu semua syaitan. Alhamdulillah aku tak buat semua benda tu. Aku bersyukur sangat-sangat yang Allah masih jaga aku dari semua benda tu.

Pada bulan Jun/Julai hingga pertengahan November(if I'm not mistaken), semua pelajar dan pekerja start ke sekolah dan kerja seperti biasa dan ikut norma baru. kena pakai mask, bawa hand sanitizer, jaga jarak sosial. Aku sebagai seorang pelajar menjalankan rutin harian aku seperti biasa. At this time, something happened to me which is one of my best friend began to distance herself from me and my other three best friend. All this happens because she find her new best friends. Aku rasa benda ni akan terjadi sebelum PKP start lagi. Well, my instinct are always right.

Bermulanya akhir November sehingga Disember, she never talk to me and my other three best friends. She keep blaming us because she think that we abandoned her even though she start to distance herself because she had found new best friends.

She and I were always playing games together especially PUBG. But one day, I noticed that she avoided me whenever I invited her to play PUBG. She said that her father did not allowed her playing games. I didn't think anything at that time. I trust her. One day, I saw her status that she played PUBG with her new best friends. Bukan sekali, tapi hampir setiap hari. Tipu la kalau aku kata yang aku tak terasa sedangkan selama ni aku yang ajak dia main, macam-macam alasan dia beri. Aku malas nak banyak bunyi, aku diamkan jela. Ada je dia ajak aku main, bila aku buka, invite dia, dia decline. Cuba cakap dekat aku, member mana yang tak terasa? Kawan kau ajak kau main, tapi bila kau invite dia tak accept. Aku pun main la sorang-sorang. Habis je game aku, aku tengok dia dah dalam match. Sumpah aku terasa gila. Aku pun terus off game tu. Esoknya, aku tanya la dia kenapa tak accept aku punya invite. You know what she said? Dia kata yang dia not in mood nak main game masa tu. Aku macam........ Kenapa kau ajak aku main kalau kau 'not in mood'?

Start je cuti akhir tahun 2020, aku dengan dia dah tak contact. Yes, kita orang still ada nombor telefon masing-masing but not keep-in-touch. And I don't know she blocked me or not. Aku dah malas nak ambil kesah dah. Aku senang je, if you treat me like sh*t, then I treat you like sh*t too. If you throw me away, then I'll stop begging you to stay with me. Aku takkan terhegeh-hegeh dekat orang yang dah buang aku. Aku bukan sombong, tapi aku pun ada kehidupan aku juga. Tak ada masa aku nak layan pasal perkara yang buang masa aku. I have my own pride.

Aku tahu dia akan baca benda ni. Aku just nak cakap dekat kau, terima kasih sangat-sangat sebab ada time aku susah senang. Terima kasih sebab pernah jadi sebahagian daripada hidup aku. Terima kasih sebab tahan dengan perangai annoying aku. Terima kasih sebab buat aku sedar yang tak semua kawan kita boleh percaya. Terima kasih sudi jadi bestfriend aku selama hampir 10 tahun ni. Thank you for everything. I've lost one of my best friend.

From best friend to ex-best friend,
From ex-best friend to friend,
From friend to stranger,
Real quick. 

Thank you for everything for what you have done to me.
I'm sorry if I hurt you from the very beginning we know each other.
I'm sorry for everything.
Please forgive me.
I already forgive you even though it's very hurt deep inside my heart to let you go.
Take care of yourself.
Please don't treat your new best friends like you treat me and others.
It's very hurt, you know.

Farewell. 😊