Silk Touch | dreamwastaken

Chapter 1:

A/N: honestly, made in the span of like 30 minutes so please don't judge <3 anyway, enjoy!

sometimes, life doesn't go the way you plan. even if you thought you had it all planned out, it just doesn't go like that. things get in the way. that's why i'm here standing in front of my mirror, staring at my body. i play with the hem of my sweatshirt and i look down to see my ripped jeans, black with chains. i swallow nervously and i nearly cry. i've already had a breakdown with my last outfit, i can't do this again. i gather my courage and i get my things before heading to my car.

it's time to head to work. i drive on the street, nervously looking at my outfit before forcing myself to focus on driving. as soon as i get to the store, i hurry in and rush to the back. the first person i see is poppy, who is my favorite co-worker and best friend. i smile and she smiles back. "hey, ready for our shift?" i nod and get my vest and name tag on.

we head to the front and get into our cashier stands. i sigh and tug on my sweatshirt and vest. finally, customers pile in and i get myself ready for a long night. 7 hours pass by fast and by the time i'm done, i'm about to fall asleep on my feet. poppy finishes before me, and she smiles smugly as she makes her way to the back.

i groan to myself and i see someone approaching. i grab my water and take a quick sip before peeking at the man. wow. i slightly choke my water, coughing. the man stops and gives me a concerning look. "you uh... you okay?" he asks. i look away and nod. i look at him finally and i feel my heart flutter.

his eyes are staring straight at me, bright and vivid. his dirty blonde hair looks fluffy, and his freckles dotted under his eyes and over his nose are a light brown. he cracks into a small smile and i awkwardly smile back. i scan his things, feeling his stare on me. i swallow as i give him his receipt. "i'm so sorry you had to see that." i blurt out and he laughs a bit.

i never knew a laugh could be so attractive. i feel myself start to blush. "it's okay, i just didn't expect to see that." he assures and i smile. "either way, i was just... well, i- i was- well i am tired and-." i stop myself as i realize that i'm rambling. i stop myself and clear my throat.

he laughs again and waves to me and leaves. i wave slightly back and nearly cringe. i rush to the back and burst through the doors. poppy is grabbing her bag and she looks at me. "Jesus, you look like you just got sunburnt. what happened? hot guy?" i stop and i bury my face in my hands.

"do i really look like that?" i ask, muffled, and poppy laughs. "i was overexaggerating. and no, but you are a bit pink." i sigh and lean myself against a wall. "so... hot guy?" "he's so cute." i shamefully admit. poppy cracks into a humorous grin and shakes her head. "romance in a grocery store... who knew?" 

i mumble and grab my things before poppy and i walk out to our cars. i hug her as she reaches her car and head to mine. i see a car right next to it, one i don't recognize. i hurry inside and lock the door before i peer in. oh my god. i see him sitting there, his light on, and talking to someone. i can't help but turn on my light and get a better view of him.

it seems like he's talking to someone on the phone and i see him glance at me. oh no. i look away as fast as i can, and i take a peek and see him looking at me, smiling. i most likely got caught. i groan to myself and i start my car. before i can back out, he waves to me to get my attention and i look.

he smiles at me and i roll down my window. he does the same and leans out, the wind slightly blowing his hair. "didn't expect to see you here." "well, this is my car," i say and smile. he smiles and slightly shakes his head. "right... well have a good rest of your night." he only says before he backs out and leaves the parking lot. poppy is gone too, me being the only one in the lot.

i roll up my window and drive back home. as soon as i get home, i flop on my couch and sigh. i go on my phone and finally drag myself to shower. as soon as i see myself in the mirror, its like im stuck in a faze and i can't get out. i can see how my hips are slightly wider, and how my thighs are a bit 'too' big. i swallow and peel my eyes away and shower.

once i'm done, i put on some sweats and a hoodie, relief flooding through me as i can see none of my 'curves' or 'features' showing. i hop into bed and i smile as i think about the guy. it's been a while since i've felt anything for anyone. probably because i find out that either i'm not their type or that i would never be their type.

my whole life, i've been struggling with body dysmorphia. it's been a constant thing that happens and i have to take meds to cope. although others don't realize, i'm in constant pain and anxiety, i just have a tendency to cover my feelings. i sigh as i realize this thinking isn't going to be able to help me sleep.

i get up and head to my desk to hop onto Minecraft. i load into my world and i put on some music as i build and fix my world. after a few hours, i feel my exhaustion really kick in and i get off. as soon as i hit my bed, i'm out in a matter of seconds.