Silk Touch | dreamwastaken

Chapter 37:

A/N: so sorry for the break everyone! my laptop decided that it lived a good life and died on me, so i had to get a new one lol. but i'm back, and i wanna thank everyone for the views and votes! it means sm to me and im truly so grateful! anyways, enjoy!

2 MONTHS AFTER:

"let's go!" i shout into the mic and i hear clay, sapnap, and george cheer as well. "how many times have we won in a row?" george asks and i count mentally in my head. "4?" i suggest and i shrug. "that's still pretty good." clay comments and we all agree.

we decide to go for one more game, which we lose, before george has to go. "bye georgy!" sapnap calls out and clay and i say bye as well. when george leaves the call, sapnap makes small cooing noises. "i'll leave you two lovebirds to yourself. wouldn't want to stay in the call after the last time..." clay and i burst out laughing, and sapnap giggles once more before leaving.

"oh my god... he still remembers?" i ask and clay laughs again. "you were literally grinding on me! how the hell was i not supposed to make a noise?" he exclaims and i laugh. i shake my head in slight embarrassment before we both settle down. 

"y/n?" 

"yeah?"

"could you uh, come over? i have something to tell you." clay asks and i raise an eyebrow in suspiciousness and curiosity. "sure." i reply and clay hums. "cool, cool... well, see you soon." with that, he leaves the call and i leave as well, before i hurry to change out of my pajamas.

i decide on a sweatshirt with shorts and i quickly comb my hair before grabbing my phone and car keys and heading out the door. as i start my drive to clay's house, i start to think to myself. what would he want to tell me? 

when i reach his driveway, i see that all his lights are on and i tentatively close my car door and i walk up his porch. i wait a few seconds before knocking on his door. a few moments pass, and i'm beginning to wonder if i should knock again, but the door swings open and i see clay standing in the doorway.

he's wearing a t-shirt and some joggers, his hair messy and fluffed up. i smile at him and he smiles back, his green eyes glinting. i go to hug him, and i smell his familiar scent as he wraps his arms around me too. i pull back and he invites me in.

we reach his kitchen and i wait for him to tell me what he wanted to tell me. i watch as he offers a cup of water, to which i politely decline, and i watch him carefully. clay's hands slightly shake as he takes an energy drink out of his fridge, and i realize that he's nervous. nervous about what..?

 i wait a bit, peering at him. clay glances at me before ducking his head a bit to study the kitchen rug. i narrow my eyes before i suddenly realize. wait, no, he's not breaking up with me right? i suck in a sharp breath and i watch as his head snaps up to look at me.

his eyes hold confusion and nervousness and i start to exhale slowly, not knowing what to do. "clay, uh... hi." i finally say and he clears his throat. "hey." "so uh... you wanted to tell me something?" i say, trying my hardest to not let my voice quiver. he can't be breaking up with me.

he offers a small smile and straightens up. "yeah, yeah... i wanted to tell you something." "okay, what is it?" i continue, and i nervously bite the inside of my cheek. just hurry up and tell me. i can't take this anticipation anymore.

clay lets out a nervous laugh before shaking his head. "okay, so... god, it's been a while since i've said this out loud to anyone besides family." oh my god, we're breaking up. it feels like we're gonna break up. i swallow and i give a slow nod. "okay..?"

clay looks me dead in the eyes and clears his throat. "y/n, the first day that i met you at the grocery store, i wasn't expecting," then he makes a motion with his finger that flicks between him and i before continuing, "this to come out of it. and i don't regret it. it made me see the world different than how it used to be before i had met you."

i blink, watching as he takes a small breath. "i know that sounds cheesy as hell, but it's true. before i had met you, all i did was bury myself in work, and filming, and it was a terrible cycle. not to mention, i didn't have time for myself, and i couldn't do anything in my free time because it was consumed with streaming.

"that day, at the grocery store, i finally decided on getting out to get my own groceries, since my mom was the one who always shopped for me." we both chuckle and i watch as his lips turn into a crooked smile. "so, i went to the nearest grocery store and i saw you. my first thought that came to my head when i saw you was, 'who is she?'. i had only seen you for a second, and yet i wanted to get to know you.

"when i first heard you talk to me, i had already taken a large liking to you. i wanted to know more about you. what your favorite color is, what your favorite hobby was and sh!t. i wanted to know you." he then steps closer and i let clay tilt my chin up, his eyes boring into mine.

"and now... i know everything about you. i'm so f!cking grateful that you're in my life y/n, because quite frankly, if i had never returned back to that store for the second time, i don't know what i would have done. i probably would have ended up wondering my whole life who you were, and why i didn't just be confident for once and talk to you."

clay pauses and he lets go of my chin, dragging his index finger as my chin falls slightly. "trust me, i don't regret a single moment that we've had. not even when we had that fight. it broke me to see you so empty when poppy had passed. you tried your best to not let your wall down, and it angered me. i wanted you to let me see the real you, ugly crying or not. and i know that's a bit selfish, but it's the truth.

"and you know what? i want to be truthful now." i hear him stop and i look at him, my eyes starting to blur with mixed emotions. clay was going to be truthful? was the truth a truth that i would never want to hear come out of his mouth, or was he going to surprise me?

i didn't realize that i was holding my breath and i slowly exhale, watching as his eyes dart to my parted lips before back at my eyes. "okay." i murmur. clay smiles softly and he glances away for a second before back at me.

"the truth y/n, is that... i love you. i love you so much that it physically hurts me. whenever you're away from me, i worry that if i'm not there, something terrible will happen to you." 

all the breath rushes out of me and my stomach is swarmed with butterflies. my heart is hammering inside my chest as i break out into a large smile and my tears finally drop. clay loves me. he said it. 

i rush forward and i hug him, feeling him hesitantly hug me back. "i love you too." i whisper and his grip immediately tightens. i bury my face into the crook of his arm, closing my eyes as the tears soak into his shirt. his hands slip into my hair and he pushes my head gently into his chest.

we pull away and we both let out a soft laugh, his face tinted with pink and mine red. i watch as he leans into me, his lips softly brushing against mine. we kiss, and it feels different. almost connected in a new way somehow.

when we both pull away, clay smiles brightly down at me. i smile back at him and i let my hand ruffle his hair, watching as the soft locks fall back where they were before. i press a small kiss to his cheek and clay lets out a small laugh.

he pulls me back into another hug and his chin rests on top of my head. i smile against him and he presses a small kiss to the top of my head. the amount of happiness that's flooding through me is terrifyingly big, but i don't care. clay's cheek rests on top of my head and i close my eyes.

"i love you clay, i really do."

"i love you too."