A few years has passed, and Ryujin's not sure if she ever got over Lia as a whole, though she highly believes that she did.
Maybe that's the worst part of falling in love with your best friend.
Sure, there's been many stories where friendships fall apart because of unrequited feelings. Ryujin thinks they're tragic, really. But it somehow feels worse that Lia stays true to her words– still makes sure that Ryujin knows that she means a lot to Lia and still makes the effort to make sure Ryujin's happy.
(Ryujin's painfully aware that Lia still makes sure she's happy.
Ryujin's painfully aware that she's one of the people Lia wants to make sure is happy.
It's what you do for the people you love, isn't it?)
Everything's the same, from the way Lia's eyes drip with honey when she looks at Ryujin, to the way that Ryujin wakes up to Lia's bright smile nearly every morning with breakfast from Lia's home. Lia still holds Ryujin's hand, and as Ryujin feels her heart constricting, she tells herself that maybe she's too immature to know about love.
~
Ryujin celebrates her birthday with Lia, playing Dance Dance Revolution at the same arcade they went to on Lia's birthday. Ice cream was eaten, even though it's cold because winter. Lia's parents wish Ryujin a happy birthday as they get driven around, and Ryujin feels her heart warm a little more.
It's when they're on the closing course of Ryujin's birthday, at 10 p.m, after two regular pizzas and several cups of hot chocolate, that Ryujin notices that Lia is a little antsy.
Ryujin doesn't ask– figures that Lia would tell her if she wanted to.
"I'm going to visit Canada for a while during the winter break," Lia finally says, wriggling her toes. Ryujin feels her toes brush against her calf under her blanket, and she shifts, giving Lia a face as Lia laughs.
"How long?" Ryujin asks, looking up from the patterned blanket.
"Two weeks," Lia says with a wry smile, studying Ryujin's expression.
There's a pause as Ryujin picks at the lint of the blanket– one of Lia's past Christmas gifts to her, and Ryujin just hums an acknowledgement.
Christmas and New Years without Lia.
"You can come along," Lia says, tentatively, "I want you to."
It's not something Ryujin has to ponder about, because traveling with Lia's family would mean she's intruding their time together, and it's not like she'd like to visit her father anytime soon. Lia sighs, knowing fully well what Ryujin's silence means, and she looks down at the blanket and presses at one of the animal faces on the blanket, preparing herself for the answer she knows she's going to get.
"You know I don't like to intrude," Ryujin says, gently. She sees the way Lia's fringe falls and covers her face and she leans forward, sweeping Lia's fringe and tucking it behind her ear as Lia looks up at her with guilty eyes. Ryujin smiles, scooting herself forward even more, with her knees to her chest and she leans her forehead against Lia's, "I'll be fine."
Ryujin's hair fall into Lia's eyes, and she squeezes her eyes shut, frowning, "You need to get a haircut."
Ryujin leans back, laughing, "I will."
(Lia knows Ryujin really means it as a promise: She'll be fine.)
~
Lia's maids have delivered more than enough food for Ryujin– as per Lia's requests– somewhere in the afternoon, along with her Christmas gifts from Lia and her parents. It's lonely, but she'd rather be alone than invade Lia's family again, even though she knows she's more than welcomed.
She's on a Skype call with Lia in the evening when her father calls.
She's wary when she picks it up, but the first thing she hears from the speaker is loud laughter from her father. She meets Lia's worried eyes through the screen, and she nods.
I'll be fine.
It takes less than a minute later for Ryujin to realize that no, she will not be fine.
Ryujin's father tells her that he's engaged, between chuckles and yelling to others in the background, and Ryujin congratulates him, through gritted teeth. He tells her he loves her when he's about to hang up, and that her Christmas gift should be arriving soon.
It's much harder to comfort someone over a call, Lia quickly realizes, as she watches Ryujin's crying form apologetically.
Lia says she's sorry, and Ryujin cries harder.
~
Lia returns the day after Christmas.
Ryujin is more than startled when Lia stumbles into her apartment in the evening, because Lia isn't set to return until after New Years. Lia basically leaps onto the couch, takes Ryujin into her arms, and she apologizes repeatedly, pressing kisses into Ryujin's hair. Ryujin chuckles, pulling Lia closer and burying her face into the crook of Lia's neck.
She sighs, taking in the feeling of Lia's hands gripping at her shirt. Lia starts sobbing not long after, and Ryujin smiles, leaving a comforting peck against Lia's temple. Ryujin pulls Lia away from her, watching the way Lia's lips are trembling.
It's Ryujin's job to make sure Lia's happy.
Ryujin nods as Lia struggles and fails to choke out another apology.
"It's not your fault."
Ryujin receives car keys from her dad the next day, and a letter saying that she has driving lessons to go to now.
Lia seems happier than Ryujin is when they find out, and Ryujin decides that everything would be fine with Lia around.
YOU ARE READING
mistakes, i can't help it | jinlia
Fanfiction[completed] She fell in love with her bestfriend. Ryujin can't say her life is falling apart, but it certainly feels like it is. She has her fair selection of bad decisions, like everyone else does. Perhaps she has a few that are worse than the aver...
