Fix You (Loki Romance)

Chapter 3

I had to wait a whole week before I could see Loki again but the moment I could, I headed straight for the cells. Agni was on entrance duty today. He was one of the friendlier guards so I was glad to see him. As I approached, his usually stern features deepened into a troubled frown.

"Lady Gray?" He looked behind him. "When did you leave?"

I frowned. "What?"

"When did you leave? I do not recall seeing you come out."

I shook my head. "I just got here, what the heck do you mean?"

His eyes widened. He spun on his heel and hurryed inside. I closed the door behind us and followed his quickening steps to Loki's cell. "Agni, who the hell did you let in here?" I hissed.

"Hopefully no one dangerous." He huffed. We reached Loki's cell within the maze, only to find it shrouded by a black mist. Agni cursed loudly. I felt my heart pounding in my chest while the now familiar cold in my belly radiated to my limbs.

There wasn't a sound from inside but as Agni unlocked the door, the mist faded. Seeing Sigyn inside, I almost wished we had walked in on someone trying to kill Loki. Better that than the burn of betrayal. She was straddling his lap, her hands on his shoulders and a surprised look in her wide eyes.

I wanted to believe the hands Loki had on her sides were pushing her away but it was hard to tell. She jumped up, her surprise contorting to fury.

"I requested privacy, can't you follow a simple order?" She shouted at Agni.

He lowered his staff towards her, the spiked tip crackling with electricity. "Lady Sigyn, you are not authorized to be here. Leave at once."

"How dare you!"

"You came under guise of being Lady Gray. I cannot allow you to remain."

"Agni," Loki called from inside. I heard him ask something but I couldn't hear above the roar of questions in my own head. He came to stand beside Sigyn. Agni leveled the staff at him.

"Away from the door!"

With his hands raised, Loki backed away. "Ebony." He started.

"Just... Let me think." I choked. I tore my gaze away from Sigyn's kiss-swollen lips and ruffled hair and the way her dress hung off one shoulder. But looking at Loki only presented a mirror image. There was confusion and fear in his eyes but it simply didn't make any sense against the scene before me.

Taking a deep breath, I nodded quickly and turned on my heel. I heard him call after me but I couldn't stand to turn and confront him now. I held my head high and kept my eyes straight ahead. My nails dug into my palms. It was my only defense against the tears that threatened. I passed nobles and servants alike and I knew that if I broke down and cried in front of them, they would only think worse of me. My room... Loki's room was only a few halls away. I could make it that far.

"Ebony!" Frigga's voice called. I closed my eyes. Taking a deep breath, I slowed to a stop and let her catch up with me. She stopped beside me, her smile fading quickly as she saw the tears welling up. "Oh dear, what's happened?"

I shook my head, wanting only to disappear somewhere. "I just want to go home." I muttered.

Frigga rubbed my back gently. "What has he done?" I swallowed what felt like a sob and pulled away. Why was it always harder to be strong when someone was trying to comfort me?

"'M fine." I choked. "Perfectly fine." I quickened my steps, knowing I had to make it behind closed doors before the tears came. I just barely slammed the chamber doors behind me when it all came pouring out. It tore me down, as quickly and heavily as an avalanche, burying me in the cold reality of what I was doing here.

I had come to defend Loki, to bear and raise a child in a realm I had so naively hoped would be kind to me. But what I found was an unforgiving people who wanted nothing to do with me, Loki, or our child. And could I blame them? I was only a burden here, an outsider that challenged their justice system and their king.

And then here came Sigyn, tearing me apart from even Loki. I couldn't fault her, could I? I was the outsider. The interloper who had stolen her fiancé and expected to be able to keep him. I was wrong. I was the other woman, the... Odin's harsh words came back to me like a slap in the face.

The whore of a madman.

"Ebony, please let me in." Frigga's voice pleaded from outside. I shook my head. "You are only going to spiral into worse and worse thoughts of yourself and him and I promise you it will only end in further heartbreak. Listen to me, sweetheart. Let me in."

"I just want to be alone." I cried.

"No, that is the worst thing you can do now! Let me in. I promise you, I know how this hurts!" I was about to ask how she knew what had happened but then I remembered that Sigyn had been right behind me. I breathed a small sigh of triumph, proud that at least she hadn't seen me cry. Opening the door slowly, I let Frigga in and let her wrap me in her warm arms. She sighed heavily into my hair.

"I can't keep this up." I said, my voice muffled by the folds of her dress. "It's too much. It's too hard."

"But not impossible."

"No, I've forgiven him for too much already!" I pulled away from her. How could I forgive him for this? He would think he could get away with anything! That he could hurt me time and again and as long as he looked sorry, I would take him back. No, I couldn't allow that. "But it doesn't matter, I guess." I said.

"Ebony-"

"No, no! I love him and he's gone and done this! I thought...I thought I could learn to be a proper Asgardian. I could learn to fit in and then Odin and the people would accept me. And then I could make them accept Loki. But that doesn't matter now does it?! Because he's engaged to a goddess who's everything any prince could want and-"

She grabbed my shoulders and shook me. "Loki loves you! With all he has, he loves you! I've never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you. You must understand, my dear, he and Sigyn had broken it off before he rebelled. He did not love her. It was well known she was his mistress, yes. But he never wanted anything more, he told me so himself. He has known her for years upon years and they were very close but he realized he could not love her as he had in his youth. She knew that from the start but she became attached. She's been fighting for his attention for so long. He has no interest in her. He loves you, Ebony. Please, believe me, he loves you."

I wanted to believe that. I really did. But the hurt was too fresh and the shock too much. Shaking my head, I turned away. "Just wanna be alone, okay?" I pulled a thick blanket off the back of an armchair and wrapped it around myself, trying to get rid of the chill in my bones. The door opened softly and closed a moment later.

Sinking into the chair, I closed my eyes and just tried not to cry anymore.