Fix You (Loki Romance)

Chapter 31

Loki's POV

He was lost in the dark, listening to them, trying to reach them. And above it all, he could hear a familiar laugh. He stumbled around, plugging his ears in a desperate attempt to escape the tortuous sound. Memories, demons, whispers - they all rained down on him.

He thrust his hands out, screaming. Warm fingers wrapped around his wrists, tugging roughly.

"Loki...Loki, look at me!" 

"No! You said it would stop! You promised! You-"

"Loki!"

His eyes shot open as he screamed again. He quieted, staring up at soft grey eyes. His chest rose and fell rapidly and he looked around him, panicking. He looked back up into the eyes as sound reached him. He heard crying. Was that him? Reaching up, he found his cheeks were dry, as were the eyes above him.

"Loki, calm down. You're okay. It was just a nightmare, alright? Just a nightmare."

"Daddy?"

His heart stuttered and he sat up. Ebony moved off, letting go of his wrists. He leaned over and lifted Kenna onto his lap. She stared at him with wide eyes, crying softly. "Daddy?" She said again, her voice tinged with fear and worry. He hugged her close and kissed her head.

"I'm fine, love. I'm fine." He wiped her cheeks and put on a brave smile for her. Ebony left the bed. "See? Don't cry now, it's alright. Daddy's fine." She wiped her eyes and pressed her tiny hands to his cheeks.

"S'okay." She whispered. "It's okay."

He blinked in surprise as a gentle but firm force took away the vestiges of his nightmare and calmed his pulse. Kenna watched him, one hand rubbing his cheek. "S'okay." She said again. But as the panic faded from his mind, he could see it filling her. Her breaths grew shaky and swift. Her hand shook against his cheek.

Curiosity quickly replaced his fear. To be able to harness such an ability at so young an age, and to know she was doing it... He wondered just how strong his daughter would turn out to be. But now was not the time. Wrapping her in his arms, he held her tightly, as if he could hug the worry out of her.

Returning with a glass of water, Ebony handed it to him. He murmured a shaky thanks, grateful for the way it soothed his tight throat. Setting it aside, he lifted Kenna against his chest.

"Come on. Back to bed with you."

She shook her head and held on to the covers. "I wanna stay!" She cried. He sighed and was about to pull the sheet from her when Ebony reached out and took her.

"Come on, missy. You can stay." She kissed Kenna and laid her down under the covers. Loki laid back down on his back and Kenna wriggled over to his side. She put her head on his chest and closed her eyes. The gentle force continued to pulse in his veins but faded as she fell asleep. He stared down at her, both in wonder and fear. If she could force him to calm down... What happened to the negative emotions? It felt as though they were taken, not just soothed. And he had seen it this time, the slow build of worry as his own feelings subsided. Did she really absorb the feelings of those she comforted? Such an ability could very well hurt her one day.

Ebony turned to him, her hand laying protectively over his on Kenna's back. "What happened? You haven't had a nightmare in... what almost two years?"

They had subsided a little bit after Kenna had turned two. He shook his head and sighed. "I don't know. I just... it was as though he was toying with me again. I-I thought he was back." He looked at her, his eyes wide with fear. It hadn't been his worst nightmare, not even close, but it was bad enough. Kenna stirred and they both looked down at her. He shook his head. "She knows."

"Knows what?"

"That something happened. I've kept it from her but she looks for it when she thinks I'm not paying attention."

"If she can help you calm down then is it possible she could use those moments to get in and see what happened?"

He nodded. "I don't think she's tried that get. She takes it away when I'm anxious and she replaces it with calm. And she knows how to control it already. But Eb..." He met her gaze. "I think she trades it. She's not soothing the feelings away, she's taking them on and replacing them with calm. It's too dangerous if that's the case. I would say we could teach her to keep her abilities at bay but one day-"

"She's just as anxious when she's around negativity than when she's taking it on." Ebony shook her head. "The strain of not helping others would hurt her as much as helping."

"Then what do we do?"

"We take it a day at a time." She reached across the sheets and wrapped her hand in his. "For both of you. And maybe one day it'll fall into place and we'll figure it out. But we can't tell her to hide it." She leaned up to kiss him. "It'll be okay." She sighed. He nodded and looked to the open door of her nursery.

If he started having nightmares again and she tried to help him.... He had to protect her from his past, no matter if that meant protecting her from himself. And that would start with moving her to her own chamber, where his nightmares wouldn't disturb her. She was only four but perhaps it was for the best.

Ebony brushed a stray lock of hair from his eyes and kissed him again. The hand that lay over his tightened and she tangled her fingers with his. "Go to sleep. You'll be okay." He nodded and closed his eyes. When her breath evened out, he looked at her and down at his daughter. He couldn't go back to sleep after that. If he was going to stay awake, he needed to spend the time finding ways to protect them.