Fix You (Loki Romance)

Chapter 42

He didn't know what to do anymore. It had been days, endless days of visions of what was coming. There was a darkness far worse than Thanos and it would devour them all. And at the very center stood Asgard in all its ignorant golden glory.

Thanos was not the devil. He never had been. The devil was riding towards them on a horse built of death and ice and endless, helpless screams.

Had he ever woken up from the first vision? How long had he been in this dream-like state, wandering the darkness until the next nightmare came his way? How long would he remain this way?

He'd watched them all die over and over again, just like the last time. But more often than not, he was the one killing them. It wasn't always his family. Some days it was a villager or one of the Avengers. He had killed Kenna's friend Rowan what seemed to be two days ago. They had to be killed. All of them, sacrificed one by one, to appease the coming destruction. It was the only way to hold it off long enough to rally the survivors of Thanos' campaign and fight it back to the pit it came from.

Now, he stood over Thor's broken and bloody body for the twelfth time when something seemed to snap near his arm. He turned tiredly towards it and the scene around him dissolved. The blind submission faded with it. Reason returned and he suddenly remembered that Thanos was the enemy, even if he was not the devil.

Loki blinked away the remains of the dream and turned to gaze steadily down at the Other. The creature looked worried. He lowered Loki to the ground and led him from the tower. Loki stumbled along behind him.

The Other brought him to a large room with a long black table. Platters of food were stretched out upon it and on the far side sat Thanos. The Other left the room and Loki, no longer caring how humiliating it was, went to Thanos' side. He knelt and bowed his head in silence. The part had to be played, after all.

Thanos took a long, loud sip of his drink. His hand brushed Loki's shoulder, silent permission to stand. Loki obeyed and sighed in relief as he was offered a seat and some food. He grabbed at everything he could reach and heaped his plate high. Thanos watched in amused silence as Loki gorged himself happily.

He sat back eventually and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, satisfied. Thanos leaned back in his chair, smirking still. "Now that you've had some sustenance, shall we continue?" Loki froze and waited in tense silence. Thanos rose.

"There is one last thing I must do. You understand now, why I'm doing this? A baptism by fire, so to speak. You must fully understand what is coming and the only way to stop it is if you submit to me, body and soul. One last trial. I promise."

"I understand." Loki croaked. And he did. He knew now what Sigyn and Luk had seen. Thanos had come as a savior. But if there was anything, despite all Thanos had tried to wipe from his mind, if there was anything Ebony had ingrained in him, it was that the end did not always justify the means. And he never had the right to do something just because there seemed no other way.

"If you want to redeem yourself," Thanos intoned as they walked, "you may submit to my reign. It means the death of what you know but I can assure you the survival of those willing and strong enough to adapt. You need no longer be a monster or a burden to those you foolishly love. You will be a hero to those whom you save."

It was a nice thought but one that he did not allow to linger. No matter Thanos' motives, he could not be allowed to continue. Loki's reason and control resided secretly in the deepest corner of his mind, hidden from everything Thanos had touched. He had shied away from a memory, not with fear but with what Loki felt was a measure of guilt.

It was the memory of Kenna's birth. Everything else Loki struggled to bring to mind and Thanos would often shut it down before he could assemble all the details. But holding Kenna, looking into her eyes and seeing the world clearly for the first time in months, that he could remember with startling clarity. He could recall the almost overwhelming flood of relief and affection. He had been able to look at Ebony and despite his trepidation, he could feel love again.

Thanos wanted nothing to do with this memory. Loki wondered idly if he felt wrong in tainting it. Or if perhaps it reminded him of something. He had loved, he knew that now. But had he sired any children? The thought was disturbing and yet... Curious.

Nonetheless, it was a weakness Loki exploited. Under the cover of openly remembering that day, he would keep his plans and control carefully hidden. It was a technique he had been taught by an Alfheimr, a way to keep anyone who could see your thoughts from seeing how you meant to escape them.

Still, he wondered.

"Thanos." He said.

"Mm..." The Titan shifted as he walked a little behind him.

"I ask this purely out of curiosity." He paused, hoping the warning would spare him any anger. Thanos waited. "Did you love Luk or was he merely a tool to you?"

There was a long pause. Finally, the Titan sighed. "I loved him. Are you attempting to find something that proves I am not the embodiment of evil?" He tried to sound amused but it was forced.

"He and Sigyn have already defended you on that count. I merely wondered if they were wrong.

"Luk defended me?" Loki almost, almost, felt pity for the surprise and - dare he call it hope - in the Titan's voice. He wanted to turn and see his expression but he knew better. "Such a pleasant surprise. I must thank you, Laufeyson. I thought I was dead to him. You've made my day but I regret to tell you that it will not soften what comes now."

Following Thanos, he prepared himself for pain beyond the fire chamber or anything else Thanos had concocted thus far. He followed him through dark corridors and into a pitch black room.

"There'll be no heat this time. You won't even bleed."

Loki held back his sigh of relief, knowing that something even worse would replace those. Thanos heard the expectation in his silence and chuckled. "Smart boy."

The Other was waiting for them. A match was struck and torches were lit along the walls. Loki was brought to a chair and chained down. The door closed with the dull finality of a tomb. Thanos disappeared from his sight for a moment, going to the other side of the room to retrieve something. Loki sat ramrod straight in the chair, his hands curled into fists and sweat beading on his forehead.

This was entirely new. He had nothing to go on, nothing to expect but pain. Returning to Loki's line of sight, Thanos held a small, oblong yellow stone.

"No." Loki whimpered. "Please, Thanos."

"You aren't strong enough to do what needs to be done."

"Yes I am!" Loki believed in Thanos' fear now. He believed the destruction would come. But Asgard would defeat it on their own terms, not Thanos'. He couldn't warn them, couldn't hide his intentions to fight back if the gem was used again.

"You remember what it was like." Thanos said. "Letting me in? It was liberating, wasn't it? Knowing we could do anything."

"Please." Loki sobbed.

"It's not the Mind Gem. The humans have it now. But I managed to create a replica. It isn't perfect." He studied the gem carefully, holding it in his palm. "It requires a stronger wielder. And it deals far more damage to the victim. But you've survived so much. You'll survive this. And I will have control. All you have to do is trust me."

"Please..."

The gem pulsed, it's power radiating from Thanos to Loki in waves upon waves of endless, excruciating pain. Like it was rending him limb from limb, it tore through his body. Loki pulled the chains. He arched away from the chair. His screams echoed far across the barren, silent realm. And silently, amidst the pain and terror, the gem allowed Thanos to slither even into Loki's unconscious mind and grasp full control.

The struggles stopped. Thanos gently calmed the panic and blocked the pain. The room fell silent as Loki was pulled from the throne of his own soul and Thanos stepped in.

The Other raised his eyes. "The cell." He murmured. Thanos looked up. "It's opening." Seconds after, the door opened and a shadow appeared to relay the same news. Thanos smiled.

"Perfect."

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So instead of a heartless evildoer, Thanos is now what every villain should be: a hero in his own mind. The end justifies the means and he's willing to make the hard decisions in order to save everything. That just means that Loki has to suffer some brainwashing, hence his being taken a second time. And now, I even gave him a heart.