Soulless

perdu

Hollow.

That's the only word Yoongi could use to describe how he felt. Beyond the extends of what emptiness could ever reach. He almost felt numb. Jimin's words echoed through his ears a thousand times, yet he refused to understand him. His speech deadened everything in Yoongi's body, no matter how hard Jimin squeezed, no matter how close his breath was to his neck, Yoongi felt none of it. He was soulless and he felt nothing because of it.

He knew what heartbreak was like, the backlashes still hurting him to this day, making him cower in pain. This was not the pain of a broken heart. This was helplessness. The knowledge that he will never find love, that he was never meant to love, that no matter how many people he meets, none of them will be his. He was already damaged beyond repair ever since Kwang spat in his face and left him broken on the floor, Yoongi didn't know how far he could have fallen. He got his answer now.

"Yoongi I'm so sorry," Jimin whimpered in his shoulder, his hands shaking as he held onto his jacket, "I never wanted this to happen to you. I'm so sorry."

He could feel Jimin's tears seeping through the fabric of his coat, he knew they were Jimin's alone. Not the rain, or a product of his gift activating. Jimin really was sorry, devastated even, it seems as if he could feel Yoongi's pain. Like he's familiar with it, heartbreak being an old friend to him.

"It's okay." Yoongi bleated weekly.

That only fueled Jimin's emotions, making him snivel and clutch him harder. Yoongi's eyes were unfocused, he knew there were tears yearning to escape his lids, however he bit them back. Yoongi placed his hands back on Jimin's shoulders, his heart cracking when he saw the boy's sobbing appearance. His eyes were swollen from crying, his cheeks stained and reddened from pressing himself into Yoongi. His hands were quivering and his legs shaking just as much. He hiccuped and tried to catch his breath. Yoongi thought he was a beautiful crier.

"It's okay Jimin." Yoongi tried to form a reassuring smile, it weakly shook on his face before frowning in a weak attempt at comfort, "It's not your fault."

"I know I just-" he hiccuped and wiped his nose, "It breaks my heart."

A tear managed to escape Yoongi's eye then, seeing Jimin so distraught took a toll on his emotions. Yoongi sniffed, still trying to smile (either to convince Jimin or himself, Yoongi wasn't sure). Jimin brought his hand to Yoongi's cheek, his thumb tracing Yoongi's face without touching it, his eyes holding fascination. When he wiped Yoongi's tear away, Jimin's eyes dulled once more with the same crystal haze, yet they peered up at Yoongi with fascination, or curiosity maybe.

Yoongi had expected Jimin's eyes to be enfeebled from the sobbing, however they looked calm, focused, even a little joyous. Yoongi ravished in the touch from the angel, his hand being so warm and inviting, he couldn't help but lean into it, enjoying the feeling of another man touching him after so many sleepless nights filled with the ghost of Kwang's arms wrapped around him.

With Jimin's complexion so close to Yoongi's own, he was able to overlook every minute detail he could grasp while they were frozen in time. His face was wholly free of blemishes, dark circles, or acne of any kind; save for the two darkened freckles that adorned his forehead. His eyes were one of the most engrossing that Yoongi has ever seen.

When he and Kwang would lay in bed late into dusk, they would be wrapped together in a cuddle of arms and legs, their noses brushing and soft breaths shared between them. Yoongi would gaze all around his beloved's features, seeing the depths of his dimples, or how his thick brows would arch in curiosity. Yoongi loved to study Kwang's complexion, adoring the shy blush that would take over his face and how he would hide in Yoongi's shoulder. He would trace his eyes over Kwangs high cheekbones and chiseled jaw, his slender, rounded nose and the curve of his cupid's bow bending as he smiled, his thin lips stretched happily; the way his messy brown hair fell chaotically over his face, covering down to his temples. Everytime Yoongi looked at Kwang, he did it as if it were the last time he would be able to, he had memorized his features, his voice, the feeling of him close; Yoongi was madly in love with the man.