Heartstrings

(13) Kelly

Kelly

Christmas Eve meant the entire family coming together at our house because we always host. Mom loved the holidays even the hassles and pressures that come with it.

Aunt Liliane has linked arms with me most of the night, making me her official bestie for the entirety of the evening. I've always wondered what it was like when it had been Annie trapped in her BFF grip. Now, I wish I've just been stuck wondering. Our conversation ranged from the city life and if men were any different in New York to "have I shagged any?" – to which I have answered truthfully with, "I work mostly at home." when, really, minus makeup and designer clothes, I was just as dull as I was here.

I thought my life is small in my hometown. I didn't think it was possible, but my life got even smaller when I moved to New York. It's funny how a city that big can make someone feel alone – even in the middle of a bustling crowd. Especially in the middle of the crowd. And around the holidays.

My relatives clumped around me and they were more interested to hear New York than I hoped they would be. They were genuinely in awe of... me. Even admired my stubborn pursuit of a career in the city in exchange for an uneventful life helping at our family's Antique Shop.

True, it would've been safe.

But I wished to be better. And maybe, just maybe, enough.

My Uncle Stanley handed me my fifth Champagne of the evening. I find myself more comfortable talking with something to drink. I gave Annie a subtle wave from across the room as I wrap up my story about my first Christmas in the city.

She waves back and shifts on the sofa, her hand over her round belly. Dad is busy trying to keep Jake's children away from the sweets. Mom was talking to our grandma Flaura.

I snuck a sweep around the room in search for a dark head and a pair of blue eyes. He said he'll be late. I told him I understand, but I couldn't wait to see him. And, yes, despite of the fact that we've been spending dangerous amount of time together in the last few days we can practically be joined at the hip.

A glass smashing thunderously against the floor splintered the merry chatter in the living room. I rushed to the kitchen, dad following suit. Mom and Annie came last along with our relatives.

Jake was standing against the kitchen counter, supporting his weight with his elbow, his other hand on the corner of his mouth that dripped with blood. Craig lies on the floor, right next to the shards of the glass bowl. His nose was bleeding and he had gashes on his forehead too.

Annie gasped in horror. "Jesus, Jake, what did you do?"

"The bastard punched me, Annie," Jake snapped, his eyes in furious slits.

Dad rushed to Jake, the rest of the men helped Craig to his feet, eyes drooping.

"God, he's drunk again." I shot him a disgusted look.

They helped them both to the living room. I turned to Annie, shaking my head.

Her gaze sharpened. "Don't, Kelly."

"He's drunk, Annie. Again. He just punched Jake!" I hissed, matching the venom in her voice.

"Girls," mom laid a hand on Annie's shoulder and swung a warning look at me.

Annie tugged her hand off, her brows in deep furrow. "He's not good enough for you like Mitchell wasn't so you tossed him away like a toy?"

"God, this is not about me!" I fumed.

She gritted, barely containing her anger. "I don't care what you say. He's the father of my kid."

"Yeah, well, he's also an asshole."

"Kelly." Mom's voice took on a disapproving edge. She's delivered too much in that one word that I almost flinched, a pang on my chest.

"You know I'm right, mom," I managed to say despite the aching bile in my throat.

She stares at me. There was a look on her face that hurts more than speech. Then I realized it was the look I'm always given over and over.

She plucked out a sigh, uttering the words I've seen coming from a mile away. "Kelly Parr, where are your manners? He's still your twin's husband."

"And Kelly, just because you got lucky with your petty dreams in New York doesn't mean you get to be better than all of us." Annie regarded me with so much contempt.

My throat constricted. "Why does everybody think I chased after my dreams so I could saddle prettily on my high horse?" I murmured bitterly. "I didn't do it so I can stomp on you. I just love you too much to let you raise a kid around a husband like that."

I didn't care that our relatives were witnessing everything the entire time. Nothing was really a secret anyway. They knew about Craig's affairs. They knew about my disapproval of him.

However, mom cared. "Kelly, that's enough."

The corners of my eyes burned, and my vision started to get blurry. "You're never going to take my side, are you?"

Maybe it was too much champagne, or I just couldn't take anymore. "How much do I have to make you proud to make you choose me for once?"

She flinched.

I shake my head to rid myself of the tears. But the ache was everywhere not crying wasn't a choice anymore.

I walk out before the first tear fall.