When the Stars Fall

Chapter 10

     Sophie was still trying to slow her breathing in her room 10 minutes after she had told Fitz to leave her alone. She was having an ausflippen panic attack. She had wanted to confront or at least talk to Fitz for the longest time, and she finally did.

 But why did it not feel great? She felt weird not relieved, not happy just meh. 

She looked around the room with her teary eyes looking for a pad of paper and a pen. Sophie frantically looked through her drawers looking for a damned pad of paper. She patted down her many pockets looking for a pen and finally found one in her rib pocket. She quickly zipped the pocket open and grabbed the pen, she realized that it was the riddle pen from Fitz and was enraged. Sophie threw it across the room, and it burst into pieces when it hit the wall. She continued to search the room for a pen and pad of paper when she heard someone clear their throat. Sandor was holding out a yellow note pad and a black pen. 

"Thanks." Her voice wobbled as she took them from Sandor.

"Anytime, Miss. Foster. I'll let you be, yell if you need anything." he said as he stalked outside her door. She quickly scribbled down 2 words at the top of the notepad, Pros and Cons.

Her eyes were leaking tears against her will, she just needed to do this one thing. She needed to write this list one time, she needed to decide, so she could be prepared for the day she has her little bean. She needed to decide if she was going to keep her baby, or give it up to keep it safe.

Sophie started to scribble down the cons first, and it turned out to be a pretty lengthy list.

Cons:

- Neverseen

- People judging

- Bean being in danger

- Her family hating her

- Being alone

- Being a good mother

The last one really hurt Sophie. She was 19 and was going to be a mom, what if she wasn't going to be a good mom? What if her kid hated her for always being in danger? What if she didn't want Sophie as a mother? Sophie shook her head, shoving those thoughts as far away as possible. She decided to start writing the pros side so that she could lift her spirits a bit.

Pros:

- Having a Child

- Teaching it about the human world

- Keefe?

- Being a mom

- Having a family

Sophie realized that she would love being a mom and experiencing motherhood, but at the same time, she was only 19 and was having a baby. She felt too young to have a baby, well she kind of was. She wanted to be married and have a couple of years of being single before she had a child. She didn't even want a child before she got pregnant with her little bean. 

She wiped away her tears and took a big breath. She couldn't decide what she wanted to do at the moment. Sophie was just going to have to think about it harder some other time because at that point she felt like her brain was going to explode with stress.

She walked over to her bed and flopped herself onto it and just laid there for a while looking to the starlights on her ceiling that Flori installed. She missed Flori to bits. She was back at Havenfield helping her parents garden and making new recipes for natural elixirs for Elwin. The Black Swan decided that Sophie didn't need all of her body guards because of the added security at the Elite Towers. So it was just her and Sandor, her original bodyguard since she was only 12. She wanted Flori to come and grow her some flowers to help her sleep or to sing her a song to calm down. 

Tears started to run down her face as she thought about all her memories with her guards. Sophie turned onto her side and laid on her bed crying. She had cried so many times the past couple of weeks. She needed to be strong, and she was, she knew it was her maternal hormones kicking in, making her all emotional. She was too busy crying to notice that someone had entered her dorm room. 

Sophie felt someone sit on her bed, so she whipped her head around to see who it was. She was prepared for it to be one of the Neverseen, even though they never showed themselves anymore, she was always prepared. Instead, it was just Keefe.

"Hey," He whispered with a sad smile. "What's wrong?"

She turned back around to stare at her wall. "Nothing, being pregnant makes me emotional." She mumbled. Sophie felt Keefe slowly lay down beside her, he tentatively put his hand on her arm, asking silently for permission, she nodded, and he wrapped his arm around her stomach, resting his hand on the underside of her stomach. 

"I saw your list." He said softly, he propped his head on his elbow "I also saw that I was on the Pros side, I knew I would be, but I had to make sure." 

Sophie chuckled at that cursing Keefe for making her laugh. 

"You don't have to worry about being a good mom, because I already know that you will be a great mom." 

She muffled a screech as she forgot she wrote that. "I'm only 19, what baby wants a young mom who has no idea what she's doing?" 

Keefe smiled "When the baby meets you, I know for a fact that it'll fall in love. Anyways, you'll have another girl to help you out, Biana." He looked towards Sophie's closet. "I saw that she already bought you a heap of baby clothes." He chuckled. "Yep, I already know she's going to be a great wing mom, or aunt. Either one works," he laughed. " And of course if you decide to keep the baby I'll be there for you. I would never leave you by yourself." 

Sophie looked up at him with appreciation. "Really? You'd stay with me and help?" 

"Of course, like I said, I would never leave you to raise my kid by yourself." He side hugged her, because they were laying down and whispered, "Sorry, I have Empathy class, I'll see you later."

"Ok, bye Keefe." She mumbled finally starting to fall asleep. 

"Oh and Sophie,"

"Yea?" 

"We got to have our kid call Tam Uncle Bangs Boy if we decide to raise it as our own." He said sincerely. 

Sophie burst out laughing and just shook her head. "Bye Keefe, have a good class. And thanks for keeping me company."

Keefe smirked at her. "You didn't say no to the Uncle Bangs Boy." And with that Keefe ran out of her door.