The Magic Grapefruit

I Cant Even * Chapter 9

As I saw G on the table quivering in fear I felt as if I couldn't. I couldn't just do this for my own selfish benifet. Sure he is the most annoying thing that I have had the misfortune of meeting, but in another form he is like a person and he doesn't deserve to end his life like this.

"G, we can work out a different way to... end your suffering. You dont have to do this." I say trying to calm him down as best I could.

"No this is what I want, I'd rather die right here right now." He says reassuringly

"Are you sure. That knife's pretty sharp. There's no going back." 

" WELL, since you put it that way I would rather make the most of my time. And you know enjoy wh-"

"Oh my dear god! Is that mold!" I say in shock.

"No. I'm the most educated fruit on the tree. I would know if i was getting, moldy, as you say. THis here, is green fluf. Not mold." 

"Wow, the mold is affecting your brain too! Oh wait, you don't have one."

"I actually feel so bad for your grandchildren right now. Those are awful jokes."

As the grapefruit opened his mouth I started to smell something so ratchet I had to cover my nose. 

"Holy smokes, whats that awful smell! It smells like something dyi-"

"What smell?" GP said as he yet again opended his mouth sending anothe rush of foul odour to my direction. 

"Oh nothing," I say deciding that it would be insensitive to say that after G is after all dying. "I just farted is all."

" Ew, thats so gross and you say I'm disgusting."

"I actuallly can't even right now."

"Can't even what?" I say confused. I mean seriously if this is young people lingo again I will lose my calm.

"I just can't even. You know... can't."

"Wow thanks for the in-ddepth explanation." I say rolling my eyes. "Well what do you wanna do while you wait for you know, nature to take it course?"