Dedicated to madsz2460, ElisaCrowe, flowerbee3, Rogersfreak and my newest follower nerdy_bird6
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heading into the house GP begins to look kind of, how do I say, pale. Well as pale as a grapefruit can become. "Hey, GP you don't look to good,'
"If that's supposed to be funny it isn't," he says obviously pissed off.
"Well I mean you look bad all the time but, you just look down right awful. Kind of pale and discoloured to be honest," I say as I examine him.
"I don't understand, I've only been off the tree for about 4 hours. How could this be possible."
"Well obviously four hours too many," I snickered at my own joke.
"This could be serious. I feel so old! My skin is starting to prune! Oh my god, I look like you" He says panicked.
"Because you're dying i'll try and not take offence to that and calm down G, I have this covered. You can just have a quick painless death. I get my grapefruit-aide and you're put out of your misery. Win-win situation!" I say feeling relieved that i have finally been put out off my four hours of misery. I'm serious I might need botox. Nah actually that's a bit too drastic.
"Uhm, not sure if that will fix your bags, you look like and old rag. No offence and it may be a win-win for you but this is like homicide! I cant die this way!" He says becoming more panicked. I swear I saw some grapefruit juice slide down his 'face' during his state of grief.
"It's not homicide, don't be so over-dramatic and people mistake me for being 50 years old thamk you very much! We would come up with a calm agreement as to the terms of your death. Then BAM! Problem solved."
"Are you sure this for the best? I mean, isn't there another way?"
"Oh yeah, there is you can die a slow ,agonizing and painful death if you wish." I say using my ways of persuasion. If you can't tell I'm very persuasive but that's only one of my many talents.
"Well then what are we waiting for? Get your kleva-sharp and a knife and lets get cutting." He says glumly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OK so that chapter was absolute crap but oh well. Its mainly a filler but it will be better next chapter.... hopefully.
If anyone has watched dance moms s5 or started watching it from s4 i could use a talking buddy. Its getting really heated and ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH.
Anyway, soz for the spaz attack, thank you for helping me near 300 reads. Im really hoping to get to 1,000 this year! I know keep dreaming but I'm always an optimist, well except when I'm pissed.
Love you guysssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
---------------------'--------------------------------
YOU ARE READING
The Magic Grapefruit
RandomAs a 68 year old, retired, male widower it was hard to find anything to entertain myself with during the long days, until one day I take up gardening. I grow the freshest, most ripe fruits but my greatest accomplishment is my grapefruit tree. This...
