Dedicated to @madsz2460. Love u gurl
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The grapefruit tree was by far my pride and joy. Waking early only to trim the hedges. Awaiting the day the tree would bare fully most beautiful, juicy fruits. When the snow, white bud of the tree fell and the fruit developed into the mature fruit I knew it would be.
Well that day ladies... And maybe gentlemen. Had arrived. The day I would finally make grapefruit-aide - yes that is a thing-. Just thinking about the cool refreshing drink made me drool.
As I walk outside on the last week of spring I see the grapefruit , the only grapefruit might I add. The lush big, orange grapefruit. It had been the first to fully bloom and might I say it looks amazingly grapey AND fruity. Not able to contain my self any more. I grab the grapefruit from the bottom when I am surprised to hear something yelp. "Oh my fudging gosh. I'm being groped. Someone help!" It yells. "Put me down!" Realizing the grapefruit was talking I drop it in panic and back away slowly. "Who said that?!" I ask already knowing the answer but not believing myself. I turn looking for an intruder. Or at least something remotely realistic.
"This is against the traw!"
"Okay what the heck is the traw?"
"The tree law. Keep up grandpa."
Finding nothing and blaming it on my old age, I go to pick up the grapefruit when I this time I see the grapefruit has developed a mouth, eyes and nose. " Holy shizcakes!" I yell as I yet again drop the grapefruit this time it rolls towards the sliding glass doors.
"Um... Uh... but.... what?" I utter in confusion. "You. Are. A... grapefruit. Grapefruits. They don't talk. You! Don't talk. "
"I know your old but you're really slow for you age because obviously I talk because I'm doing it right now." The grapefruit says in a duh tone. Wow sassy-mac-sass-pants. What fruit fly attacked him today. Gosh.
Giving the grapefruit a blank look I pick it up and walk inside to the kitchen placing him on the counter top. "Don't move alright."
"Where do you expect me to go I don't have legs remember?" Rolling my eyes I go to the second draw grabbing a knife. Walking to the grapefruit I also get a chopping board as I put the knife on it's skin...
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Yay. last time I checked I had 4 reads and that's 2 more than I expected. just saying thnx to anyone that actually reads this.
YOU ARE READING
The Magic Grapefruit
RandomAs a 68 year old, retired, male widower it was hard to find anything to entertain myself with during the long days, until one day I take up gardening. I grow the freshest, most ripe fruits but my greatest accomplishment is my grapefruit tree. This...
