The Academy

Part One: Chapter Fifteen

I pull a cigarette out of the pack I just bought and hold it between my index finger and thumb, studying it. I haven't smoked in two years. I slip the pack into my pocket and pull out a lighter, watching the flame, debating if I want to light it. 

Screw it. I light the cigarette and take a long drag, the smoke filling my lungs. I know how bad this is for my health, but somehow, the nicotine helps clear my mind. I was never addicted, I just smoked when I was too stressed to do anything else. Like right now. Or maybe I was addicted and I'm just in denial. Denial would be bliss right now.

I'm leaning against my car as the tank fills at a gas station in Massachusetts. Amelia's funeral was two days ago. I'm going back to Quantico. I can't miss more training, and I can't bear to be in that house with my parents anymore. Everywhere I look all I can see is Amelia, and it hurts. It hurts worse than I ever thought I could hurt. 

Luna sits in the passenger seat of my car, staring at me. It just rained, and the smell of water and dampness in the air is calming. That, and my cigarette. 

The tank is full and I pay and sit back in the driver's seat, leaving the door open as I finish my smoke. How I can go through a cigarette so quickly is beyond me, but I won't smoke another one today. The academy is hard enough on my body without me damaging it with toxins. 

I pull the door shut and begin the drive back down to Quantico. It's quiet, Luna's asleep. It gives me time to think, though right now I'd rather not. After a minute of debating, I plug in my phone to the aux and play one of my favorite bands, The Lumineers. 

I can't sing. Not at all. My voice is better for yelling at people, another reason I'm in the academy. But, it doesn't mean I don't enjoy belting out my favorite songs when I'm alone in the car, as much as it might hurt poor Luna's ears.

The hours go by and I pull into my parking spot at my apartment. I'm dropping my things off, as well as Luna, then heading back to campus. We walk in through the door and Luna seems very happy to be home.

After sniffing around a bit, she goes to the closed door to Amelia's room. I stop, watching. She sniffs around the door, then sits in front of it, staring intently at the doorknob. After a few seconds, she whines and paws at it, her tail wagging.

I go and open the door for her, feeling the usual cool air rush over me. Luna runs in, sniffing everywhere. She jumps on the bed, and when she doesn't find Amelia looks at me. Luna sits and cries, her blue eyes intently on mine.

Emotions are building up, so much so that I can't speak or I would break down. She wants Amelia. I go over to her and sit, allowing her to climb into my lap, and I pet her.

"She's not coming back, Baby," I whisper, fighting hard to keep tears back. "Amelia's gone. I know you miss her. I miss her too. But we're gonna have to get used to it being just the two of us, okay? Me and you girl, just me and you."

I ended up spending two hours at my apartment before getting back to the academy. Everything hurts, my entire body is exhausted. It's a Monday afternoon, so I know my complex will be empty when I get back. Everyone else will be training.

I walk into my room, finding I was right. Everything looks the same, none of my belongings have been touched. I collapse into my bed, not bothering to change, and sleep comes over me almost instantly.

"Alright people, this is a rescue mission. That means we get in, get our guys, and get out. I don't want any casualties. Understood?" Amelia's voice reaches my ears and my heart leaps. I turn, finding I'm surrounded by sand. The wind is blowing and the smell of fire is in the air.

"Yes ma'am," Multiple voices respond gruffly.

"Amelia!"  I scream, finding a group of Marines crowded around a humvee. The first face I see is my sister's. But she doesn't see me. I run closer as she explains her plan, and the group breaks apart.