The Academy

Part One: Chapter Twelve

"Whoa, Olivia, where's the fire?" Amelia calls, jogging to catch up to me as I speed past her, out towards the parking lot of the rodeo, tears stinging my eyes.

"Where's the damn car?" I try to sound angry, but it comes out as more of a sob. I can't remember where we parked.

Amelia catches on instantly and grabs my hand, leading me to the right and within a few minutes, we safely make it into the vehicle. I get into the passenger seat, hyperventilating. 

"Hey, breathe. It's okay." My sister gets into the driver's side and leans over to me, a hand on my shoulder. Her voice is soft and soothing. 

"What is wrong with me, Amy?" I cry, meeting her gaze, though her face is blurred through my tears. "I like her. I really do. She likes me too, I think, and I just-" I can't manage to finish my thought. 

We sit in the parking lot for a few minutes, Amelia gently trying to calm me down. Eventually, I'm just hiccuping and sniffling every now and then and we start to drive home. 

"You gonna tell me what happened?"

I sigh deeply. "We um, we kissed."

She lights up, but her expression changes when she sees mine. "Was it bad?"

"No! That's the thing- it was good. It was great! But I...all the sudden I wasn't kissing her, I was kissing Skipton, and it scared the crap out of me. I just turned and left."

"Oh, Olivia," Amelia says quietly, understanding.

"I just left her! Being with Lindsey was the first time I've felt anything since Skipton...and I ruined it. I just turned and left. She was calling me back, she was so guilty," I have to press a hand to my mouth and try to collect myself before I broke into hysterics again. "It's not her fault, it's mine. It's all my fault. Why can't I just..."

We stop at a stoplight and my sister faces me, her expression dead serious. "It wasn't your fault. You have to get that into that thick skull of yours. You didn't do anything wrong. It's not your fault. It's Skipton's."

I shake my head, the guilt of not only my rape but how I left things with Lindsey overwhelming. The thought of returning to campus tomorrow makes my stomach churn, but I don't have a choice, not if I want a career. If Lacey can work under Skipton so can I.

"How am I supposed to leave you?" Amelia murmurs.

"What?"

"I have to leave in two days if I want to see Mom and Dad before I go back to the sandbox. How am I supposed to leave you like this?" 

"Amy," I start, but can't think of anything to say. In all honesty, I don't want her to leave either. "You have to see Mom and Dad, they worry endlessly about you."

"I don't want to leave you!" She looks at me, her gaze torn. "This is when you need your big sister. I can't just go."

"I have to go back to training tomorrow anyway," I say quietly.

"I can't believe you're still working under that son of a bitch." She growls.

"I can't apply for a transfer without a good reason."

"Meaning, without reporting it."

"And there's no evidence. We've been over this, there's no way they would believe me."

She sighs. "I can't believe this bullshit actually happens."

"I didn't want to believe it either until it happened to me," I whisper.

We pull up the apartment, quietly walking inside. That's when I hear my phone go off. I pull it out and see it's a text from an unknown number.

Olivia? It's Lindsey Crawford. Let me know if you get this.