The Academy

Part Two: Chapter Six

Lindsey blinks in surprise, her lips parting as she stares at me. Oh god, I shouldn't have said it. I scared her. Oh god. I just ruined everything. What is wrong with me?

Then, her lips form into a warm smile, and her eyes meet mine. "I love you too, Olivia."

At that moment, my heart soars. I feel lighter than I have been in a long time, and the urge to kiss her is overwhelming. I don't fight it, I instantly bring her face to mine, both hands on either of her cheeks as her arms snake around my waist, pulling our hips flush against each other.

She's still dirty and sweaty, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Her scent is so uniquely Lindsey, and I wish I could smell it all the time. I'm warm everywhere, so wrapped up in the kiss that I don't notice her moving us to my bed.

I feel the mattress on my back, and then I feel her hands brushing my bare stomach, underneath my shirt. I freeze, and before I can do anything about it, I'm thrown directly into a flashback. I'm not looking into my girlfriend's warm hazel eyes, I'm looking into Skipton's dead ones. 

I scramble away instantly, panic taking over as my eyes dart around the apartment, looking for an escape. Lindsey stays where she is on the bed, but all I can see is Skipton. All I can feel is Skipton. 

I can't breathe. I spot the french doors leading to my balcony, and run over to them, throwing them open as the cool air from the night floods over me. I lean over the railing, desperately trying to get ahold of myself as my stomach rolls with nausea.

I focus on my view. I stare at the cars in the street below us, the lights from the buildings, not moving until Skipton's face begins to fade. I channel my senses, struggling to control my breathing as I take in everything around me, trying to get back to the present.

Luna comes to my side, gently nudging me and whimpering, which also helps. My baby has seen this all too many times before, and being the smart dog that she is, has figured out how to help me. She presses her body into my legs.

I break into a cough and sink to the cold ground, Luna curling up next to me, and I don't know how long it takes for me to finally calm down enough to function. When I look up, back into my loft, Lindsey is standing at the edge of my bed, her hat nowhere to be found, staring at me.

With one look in her eyes, I break into tears. She looks confused, angry, hurt. I ran away, again. I hurt her, again. I did exactly what I promised I wouldn't do. I hide my face in my hands, burning with embarrassment, wondering if the next time I look up, she'll be gone.

But instead, I feel warmth near to me. I glance up, and through my vision blurred by tears, I can see her crouching in front of me, looking concerned more than anything else.

"I'm sorry," I croak, "I'm so sorry, Lindsey."

She hushes me, "Hey, it's okay. You're okay. I'm here, alright?"

I rub my cheeks with my sleeve and take a shaky breath, trying to compose myself. Neither of us says anything as I do so, her seemingly content to just watch me for the time being. Finally, I stand and am able to look at her again, my brain starting to work.

"I need to tell you something," I whisper hoarsely. She only nods and leads me back inside, Luna following closely at my heels as Lindsey closes the doors behind us.

"Do you want water or something? You can take a shower or..." She trails off, not really knowing what to say.

I shake my head and lead her over to the couch, where we both sit and face each other. Luna sits on the ground next to me, staring. I allow her to jump into my lap, knowing I'll need the comfort of my dog. Lindsey doesn't say anything, and knowing her, every single possible bad scenario is running through her head.