The Academy

Part One: Chapter Nine

Trigger Warning: This chapter and much of the remainder of the book contains descriptions of sexual assault, please read at your own risk.

I sit in the corner of the women's bathroom, knees pulled tightly to my chest. My brain isn't working and my body refuses to move. My center is throbbing, sending pain through my core and legs.

What just happened?

I look around the now empty restroom. My pants are about four feet away from me. I reach out, stretching my body to grab the fabric and pull them over to me. I begin to try and put them back on, but my legs don't want to cooperate. They fell like jelly, and for the first time, I notice the bruises forming on the inside of my thighs.

Shower. I need to shower. I slowly pull on my pants and reach up to grasp the edge of the porcelain sink. Using all the upper body strength I can manage, I haul myself to my feet and place another hand on the sink to steady myself.

I take a minute to catch my breath, almost afraid to look into the mirror to see what I look like. When a tear hits the sink, I notice I'm quietly crying. I can't go outside looking like this.

I have no idea how long it's been, but I remember with a pang that I'm supposed to be meeting Lacey and Camilla at the range. There's no way I can go now. I want to leave this bathroom, but at the same time, I don't.

What if he's outside? Waiting for me?

My decision is made for me when the door opens. I jump, whipping around to see who is coming in.

"Olivia?" Lacey shouts then stops when she sees me. "There you are, we..." she trails off, taking me in. I don't know what I look like, but I have no doubt it's not good. I close my eyes, struggling to breathe as I use the cold tiled wall to support me. "Are you okay?" She breathes, slowly coming over to me.

My answer to that is a sob, one I can't stop no matter how hard I try. I sink to the floor again, absolutely drained, and put my head in my hands.

She reaches out to touch my shoulder, but I flinch away. I didn't mean to, it just happened. Guilt hits me when she pulls her arm away and squats in front of me. She's looking at me, but I can't bear to look at her.

Burning with embarrassment and shame, I try to stifle my sobs, but to no avail. I'm a waterfall of tears, and Lacey moves to sit next to me, leaning against the wall herself. She doesn't say anything or touch me, but her presence does help.

Sometime later the door opens again, and I jump, relaxing only slightly when I recognize Camilla. I can't meet her gaze, so I bury my face in my hands once again, my cries slowing.

"Olivia," Lacey says softly, her tone gentler than I've ever heard it, "What happened?"

I take a deep breath and stand up, using the wall for support. "Nothing."

"Olivia," Camilla tries.

"I'm fine." I snap, though my voice and appearance say otherwise.

"Camilla, can you give us a minute?" Lacey stands as well. The French woman looks confused but nods and leaves the restroom.

"Skipton," Lacey says as soon as her girlfriend is out. "Special Agent Andrew Skipton, our group instructor was the one who attacked me." My breathing hitches and I look at her, seeing the truth in her eyes. "You're not fine. I've never seen you cry like this before. So, I told you my secret, you tell me yours."

"I knew you knew who it was," I say softly, "I didn't want to bring it up though. How do you train under him now? Every time you look at him don't you just see..." I trail off, squeezing my eyes shut as I lean over the sink.