This is love

TWENTY-THREE

When I was thirteen we went to Origin for a quick family vacation which spilled into two weeks after dad sniffed out the passion for camping. The clamminess of the rental car with a nose curling smell of sweat and hot cheetos that Flo insisted on overbuying at our last gas station pit stop was fresh in my mind. I was curled against the slightly cracked opened window, head resting on the spongy neck pillow whilst watching the mass of gorgeous scenery zoom by. While I should have been grateful for the lovely sights of the wide open doors and thankful for the break of city life, I could only imagine the skyscrapers and bright lights, the smell of hot dogs on street corners and clouds of mist bellowing from the street gratens. 

It was my first time being homesick. It was my first temper tantrum since a toddler when I stomped away from our rented Volvo and the six man tent dad was nailing in the middle of the earthy woodland forest that I had seen way too much off. There was nowhere to run; that's what I told myself. Not that I was too afraid of getting lost and eaten by wolves. 

This time though I wasn't sharing a tent, nor was I stuck in the woods with no cell phone service drinking from metal cups or peeing in a hole in the ground. I was in a lavish hotel with room service on speed dial, a bathtub big enough for four and overlooking the great sights of the River Thames and Westminster. 

But I was just as homesick now as I was then. 

We were two weeks into the project. Two aching painful weeks of being as far away as I could possibly get without the touch of my husband or the hugs of my dad, or feel of my pregnant sisters abnormally huge stomach. 

But we were on the home stretch. Contractors had more rapidly and between builders and engineers, the place was finally taking shape. With only a possible week left, I almost trembled with excitement. 

My phone buzzes with an incoming video call with the heart emojis following the corny Hubby name tag he was saved under. I was cautious enough to hit the answer button within a second of the screen lighting up in fear that my chubby thumbs could slip and reject him. 

There he was. The infamous New York sunset casting a dreamy orange shadow onto his face, making a sparkle in his eyes and bouncing from his beaming grin to create that thousand watt smile. His office suit was shredded and the crevice of chiseled collarbones disappeared out of the screen reach and hiding the bareness of his chest. 

"There's my girl." He grins and I curl the comforter beneath my chin while an obnoxiously wide smile overcomes my lips. "Jesus I've missed you today." 

"Only today?" 

"Everyday, but that little bit more today." He says. 

"Hm? Why? Is everything okay?" I ask him with a worried frown. While our phone calls and video calls were daily, it was a brief catchup on the day and now a full in depth detail about what went on. But today, after we both finished work early, we scheduled an even longer video call tonight before the timezones took over. 

"Yeah, yeah; everything is fine. I guess I'm just tired. I can't sleep well without you here."

"But you're eating, aren't you? And you're not doing too much in work?" 

He fights a smile with a wrinkled nose. "Yes boss, I'm eating fine. I'm just missing my wife, is that so bad? She flew off to the other side of the world a week after we tied the knot. I'm allowed to miss her alot more than a normal husband." 

The nip of guilt pokes my heart with it's five foot long stick and I frown again. Though I knew Jason didn't mean any harm by his words, it's still stung and by the obvious look on my face, he noticed.