This is love

ELEVEN

“What’s going on?” I ask quietly, my shoulders tight and my gut wrenching at the dead stare-off Jason and Colin were jousting over the table. Jason’s grip had tightened like a vice around my thigh and if he were a cartoon, fire would be bellowing from his nose and his eyes would be blazing red. “Jason?” 

“You haven’t even asked her?” 

“Why the fuck would I?” Jason spits like the words were like liquid metal burning his tongue. Paul coughed, trying to shield Vivian’s ears from her uncle’s misuse of words. She was sensitive to any type of raised voices and because it was Jason, the person she loved just as much as her dad, she was cowering with the confrontation. “I told you, it will never happen.” 

“You’re making a mistake.” 

It was something so simple yet it seemed to have pushed Jason from that ledge he clinged onto. He bounced to his feet before I could gasp and David followed barely a millisecond behind him. It was heartwarming to see how in sync the two were for cousins. They had each other's back whatever situation, even including a stand-off between family. Colin barely seemed affected by Jason’s outburst, not even flinching at his raging son. I go to stand, but Rachel’s pleading eyes stick me to my seat. 

“I am making the best decision of my life.” 

“You’ll lose everything.” 

“I’ll gain so much more.” 

“You’re prepared to give it all up?” Colin barks, the anger succumbing him entirely. “I didn’t raise you like this. I didn’t raise you to give up your future and legacy for anyone. If you're going ahead with this thing, you need security. You need to keep your life safe.” 

I felt like the wind was knocked from within me as he confirmed in little words, that this argument and upset, was because of me. Immediately, I knew what he was talking about and it made my stomach sink and bile to rise. Did Colin think that little of me? Clearly he did, but why? When did it all change? When did he get such a degrading opinion on me? 

“What are you talking about?” David chimes. “Incase you’ve forgotten, I am also a JD owner so I should know what’s going on here.” 

“There’s nothing going on.” Jason snaps. 

“He’s being unreasonable.” Colin muses. 

Like a ticking time bomb, Jason finally explodes. His fist comes hurtling on top of the table, sending glasses and cutlery hurtling sidewards, and causing yelps and gasps come from our party. Vivian wimpers, clinging to Flo’s neck as Paul jumps to his feet in a feeble attempt to simmer the situation. Knox stirs in his stroller and dad cautiously rests his hand on my shoulders as the tears gather. 

“You think my fucking fiancee will steal my business, how the fuck is that being unreasonable?” He roars. “I will never, ever sign your fucking pre-nup. Ever. Because I trust Frankie, and I trust in us. I will never let us get to the point that I would worry about my business more than her because she’ll always come first. Throughout everything, it’ll always be her.” 

My palms were sticky. 

“All I’m saying is, it’s sensible to have security. You know, when things go downwards, at least you have the business to fall back on.” 

My heart was breaking, the tear poking at my waterline in a spiteful taunt. I couldn’t lift my head in embarrassment, I stared at the fallen glass of red wine that was soaking slowly into the crisp white tablecloth. Oh Marco, I’m sorry. 

“Nothing will ever go downwards, do you know why?” Jason says, and I can see his hands shake from the corner of my eye. “Because I’m not you. I will deal with my problems, I will work on my problems and I’ll do it all with Frankie by my side. We’ll talk, properly talk. I will never let her, or my kids, feel second best and God help me, if I ever, ever found out that she felt like I was putting anything before her or my family, especially JD’s, then I’m done.”