Asterisk*

Correlation and Coefficient*

*With all head nods to no longer looking to the simplicity of math equations for answers

I got a lot on my mind,

But even more on my heart,

That hangs on my sleeve,

Broken and sewn together,

Two steps away from the floor,

Hanging by a needle.

Apollo 

One of the first things you learn is that there is only one right answer to math. No ifs, ands, or buts. There is no way to argue that two plus two equals five. It's four, through and through. At first, you learn basic facts, going a step further every time. One plus one equals two. Two plus two equals four. Four plus four equals eight, and so on. You're so accustomed to thinking that one certain way, that you never think it would change.

Sometimes, life seems like an equation. An unnecessarily complicated math problem that needed to be solved to find the answer. Trying to do all the right things, trying to follow the equation of life. Trying to find the solution to life. There's this one life that's supposed to be the solution, one that everyone wants. It seems within rich, but you're always a measure short, so you keep trying to solve it, looking for a solution.

Then you grow up, and you learn quadratic equations. Then you realize some things have two solutions, three solutions, even infinitely many solutions. You stop searching for one solution. You learn that you don't need to look for that one solution, but go through an even more complicated equation, finding something that could end up being inevitable.

And now math, the one thing that was supposed to be simple, was no longer simple at all.

Sometimes, there is simplicity in complexity. There's endless time to get wrapped up in all the details of it, thinking of things that I would never have thought of before. Times warps and winds of the universe bring everything together, elements of nature bringing everything down and up at the same time. You know you would never be able to solve this one, but you would keep going, just keep pushing forward because, at the end of the day, it's what we humans do. At the end of the day, it was what I was doing too.

Today was the last test of the quarter. One last chance to prove to myself that I could do this. That I deserved to be here. I knew everyone else already knew it, but sometimes it was hardest to prove it to yourself. No one can make you change your own mind other than yourself. Sometimes, not even yourself. All I could do was take a deep breath and calm myself down.

"All right, students," the professor spoke, grabbing a thick pile of papers off his desk. "Last test of the quarter. Most of you have done really well on the last few tests. This one is a bit harder, so read each question carefully. Double check your work. And please, use a number two pencil on your scantron, or the highest grade you can get is a fifty. I have a life, people. Grading one by one is going to make me go crazy."

Everyone lazily nodded their head, putting away the books they had been studying from. The professor started handing out the tests face down, shushing everyone so the room would be completely silent. I started fiddling with the edges of the test's page. It's a wonder I didn't get a paper cut after all that.

"One hour. Not a minute more, not a minute less. Write your name or you're getting a zero," the professor clapped his hands, like we were all magically going to start writing once he did so. "And absolute silence. One word, that test is mine, however far you are from the end. You may begin!"