Let's get something straight...

18

There was something seriously wrong with me today-

First, the thing with Nico, I mean, I've punched him in the gut just for even daring to sass me. For what he'd done, forcing himself on me, I would've pummeled him to the ground, no mercy.

And yet...

I didn't.

I could say it was because we were interrupted before I could even get the chance to, I could say it was because I felt bad for the guy- I could come up with a shit ton of different excuses to explain myself but the fact of the matter was that I didn't do what I normally would've and the reason was... well, I don't know.

And then, as if things weren't weird enough already, I go and pull that shit at the Ferris wheel. 

Seriously!? 

What the hell was I thinking?! Kissing Asheton! Me!? I never kissed anyone! Even in grade school when the little turds in my class were dared to kiss the girl they liked. They never got a chance to so much as pucker their lips, my fist was already wrist-deep in their faces. And by the time I got to middle school and high school, I'd earned a reputation for beating anyone to a pulp who dared to even sniff in my direction, so no one ever tried.

But then Asheton- he just- fucking, shit! He just waltzes into my life with his designer cut black business suits, accentuating the fuck out of his stupid chiseled body, his smooth razor-sharp jawline and inky blue eyes resembling the midnight sky on a particularly starry night and just- just-

Shit!

There was something seriously wrong with me.

My head was all kinds of fucked up.

Never before had something like what happened back in that Ferris wheel ever happened to me before.

Me! Cash Huxley! 

I did not just go around accepting every proclamation of affection that came my way. Attempts at any sort of physical interaction were met with a brutal physical reaction of my own. Even mere words of affection and heated gazes were met with scathing remarks and icy glares.

So there was no way, no way, I could possibly do something so- so- fucking stupid!

I refused to accept it. Refused to even think about it anymore. 

Yeah, that was it. I would just put it from my mind. I'd stuff the memory deep into a drawer in my head, wrap heavy-duty chains around it, padlock it shut, and toss it, along with the drawer, into a bottomless trench from which no unpleasant memories ever came back. 

Yeah, that's exactly what I'd do!

And then, I'd never have to relieve such a dark stain in my life ever again! It would work... it had to work... it always did...

"Um, miss?"

I blinked.

"We're here."

I looked up from the clenched fists at my lap to look out the UBER car window and saw that the blonde guy was right.

I was home.

The ride had been faster than I expected, actually. It was the waiting that'd taken forever. 

After I'd managed to give a chasing Asheton the slip in the darkened parking lot, illuminated only by the dozen or so lampposts lighting up circles about 8 feet wide along the lot, I called myself an UBER and had to wait the promised forty minutes for it to get to my location. It didn't matter though, the unusually long ETA was the least of my worries at the moment, not that I was worried about Asheton finding me. I would've beaten him down if he had, just that I wanted to avoid looking at his face... until mine could calm the fuck down and stop burning like a damn furnace.