A Different Way

chapter 13

They get closer.

Like closer closer. Like literally mother-and-daughter closer but at the same time, besties-typa-closer.

With all the funny moments shared during the rehearsal sessions and getting to know each other, here they are. Having a sleepover and talking about life and shit like they've known each other for years.

"..... but you know, yeah. That's just my perception of the human race. They... or we are just things that can live in a place where there's life but that doesn't make us special. For all we know, there's things like us that live in like, Uranus or something, but they're too afraid to show up because they want to protect their citizens 'cause they see us as a threat. And plus, who says our basis of life is the only possible basis of life? Right?" She rambles with her gaze still focused on the sci-fi movie that's playing on Jesy's TV screen.

Jesy chuckles on the girl's statement. It was obvious that the girl is smart. Really smart. Jesy doesn't reply for a while because her mind was focused on what's been occupying her mind all day.

The girls.

She personally gets her news of what's happening to the girls from her team but they were busy based on the email they sent a few days ago. She didn't want to disturb them from what they're doing so she is absolutely clueless on what's happening on her label, the girls, and just the whole music industry since she refuses to look at news in the internet and there's a lot of fake news and just.... the internet is shit for the most part.

Jesy looks down and sighs. She wanted to distract herself from thinking about the girls, so she asks her, "if you had a career in music, do you think that you can... survive it?"

Xailendra looks at her knowingly, as if she was a psychic, she knows that she's thinking about the girls. The question itself is obviously associated to them. "It's.... based on the odds. If I had a great deal with a label or management, then yes. But if I don't have a lawyer to read the contract plus not having a good record deal, well then I guess I'll be playing a game of chess with other people in that field. The worst part is I don't even know how to play chess, so I guess no surviving on that one," She joked. The curly-haired woman chuckled a bit and motioned for Xailendra to continue talking. "Factors that may affect my hypothetical career might also be affected by my attitude and how I will react towards fame, attention, all those crap. For all I know, I might hate it. It's not even the type of thing where I have a choice because fame requires attention and if my label is shit, it's a gamble on what type of attention I will get, y'know? I could be sabotaged."

"But you and the girls' career, it was sabotaged since day one, with you guys only noticing when you guys already signed under you-know-what-and/or-who. It was kind of an unforseen tragic thing since you guys were so young and—and it's just," She paused. She didn't want to mention the girls that much to the older woman but sometimes she's really bad at controlling her word vomit. "There was something bound to happen. It's like... a disaster waiting to happen—not the career itself, but one of the factors that affected you guys on how you react to fame."

Though the girl was being very vague, she understood what she said. She expected a distraction from her thoughts but instead, what she got is a somewhat simplification on what happened years ago when she was still in the band.

"All in all, I'm just saying that it depends on the person, on the question you asked, well I guess it's me, it depends on me. It depends on what decision I'll make before and when I'm already on the spotlight. It's based on my psychological well-being, decisions I will make," The green-eyed girl says, nodding to her own statement. "If—if I don't know anything, or if I'm just a little unaware being signed to a record deal, I could literally be one of the next contestants on The Hunger Games with my subconscious whispering, 'may the odds be ever in you favor.' and it could be a giant mess that could scar me forever."

Jesy's gaze is focused on the girl now as if she's the movie that she's watching, eating popcorn as she listens on what she's saying. "Have you ever dreamt about it, though?" She asked curiously. "To have a career in music, I mean."

"I did, but I never considered it as a real possibility," She says and turns her gaze to the woman. "As a kid, it's not unusual to daydream about what the future may bring. But at the same time, you need to think if a certain job or possibility if it's sensible, y'know?" She shrugged.

"So, I only think of it if I need a dream escape. I'll think about when my parents are acting up because sometimes those type of things were my only hope, those dreams were my only savior from the reality I'm facing everyday. It's nice to think about, isn't it?"

"Thinking about what sensible career was in your mind as a little kid?" Jesy asks.

"Of course, it is. If I'm gonna plan my future, I should do it right." Xailendra replied and grinned widely.

Jesy watches the girl observes her expression and her face softens. "Now tell me, Miss Jessica Louise Nelson, what's on your mind? Is there something bothering you, if you don't mind me asking?"

☆。*。☆