Dark heart

Chapter 4

It was the night of the party and I just came out of the bathroom and took the dress I had bought yesterday with Nat and Wanda off the hanger. The black fabric hugged my torso tightly and parted slightly from the waist, loosely hugging my legs to the knee. The back was mostly open, exposing my lightly tanned skin. I had my hair up in a loose bun, and only a single strand played in gentle waves around my face. I took one last searching look in the mirror before slipping into matching high heels, also black, and stepping out of my room.

I met Steve in the hallway. He wore a blue shirt that stretched slightly to his muscles in the upper arms and chest. " You look great", he greeted me, and I hinked at a knick with a little laceration. „You don't look bad either Rogers", I returned the compliment and we walked down the stairs side by side. Already from above the music had been heard and Tony had once again surpassed himself. The kitchen had been converted into a bar and in one corner there was a billiard table. " Hey sister", Tony greeted me there already and came walking towards us. He gently pressed a kiss on the top of my head and then looked at me with big eyes. " You look gorgeous", he commented on my appearance and led me through the guests to the rest of the team.

"I told you to take the dress," Wanda said laughing as I came to a stop next to her and Peter. " Yes, you must have had good taste,' I replied with a smile and let my gaze wander through the familiar faces. Nat chatted a little off to the side with Clint and Steve, who were now joined by Sam and Bucky. Tony had left my side and gone to Rhodey's, where Pepper was also already waiting for him. I could also see Thor, who of course had immediately made his way to the bar. Curious, I kept an eye out for the one missing face and then saw him coming down the stairs. Loki was wearing a black suit, with a black shirt and black tie, which I thought was terrible on everyone else but it looked great on him. As if he noticed my gaze, he made eye contact across the room and once again I wondered what he was thinking.

God, I really had to stop looking at him like that! To distract myself, I made my way to the bar where Thor was still leaning against the counter. " Hey little warrior", he greeted me as he saw me heading towards him. „Is this your first party on Earth?" I asked him after a bit of smaltalk and a few drinks together curiously. " Yeah, it's a lot different to the party on Asgard. We have big balls with a huge banquet", he explained, and I listened to him as he told me about what it was like on Asgard. " I would love to see it all", I admitted when he was finished with his stories. " Well it's not as impressive as you think it is", Loki's voice sounded to my left. I didn't realize he had joined us at all, but I wasn't exactly sober anymore.

"Don't you like your home?," I asked, eyeing Loki intently. " Yes, there are some very beautiful places I like to visit but most of it is just pomp and gold and too much of everything,' he explained and the enthusiasm I had felt for Thor's stories slowly faded away. I sank into my thoughts, imagining what it must have looked like there and whether I would be comfortable or if it was more like Loki had described. " Alex? Is everything okay?," he snapped me out of my thoughts and gave me a slightly worried look. " Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm sorry, I guess I got a little carried away," I mumbled a little meekly. " It's okay. That happens to me a lot too," he assured me. Was it the alcohol or did he just give me a really honest and gentle smile?

"I was reading a book today and stumbled across something that made me curious," he told me a little hesitantly and with a smile I encouraged him to continue. " It was about fending off mental attacks and that it can be trained. Is that right?," he wanted to know, and he seemed genuinely interested. " Yeah, that's right. There are some techniques for blocking and with practice you get better at it," I confirmed what he had read and he nodded, but seemed to be somewhere else in his mind. There was a silence between us but not one of the awkward kind. We both just hung out with our thoughts and sipped our drinks every now and then until at some point almost all the guests were gone and Tony came up to us.

"There you are!," he matured as he stood in front of us and I was pretty sure I wasn't the only one who seemed to be a little drunk. " Won't you join us?," He asked further, gesturing to the couches where everyone sat gathered in a circle and seemed to be having their fun. " Sure,' I said and glanced over my shoulder at Loki, who seemed to follow rather reluctantly. I settled down on the soft carpet between Steve and Bucky, who both greeted me with grins. At some point we moved on to playing truth or dare and it was my turn. " Truth or dare?," Wanda asked me with a sly grin. I'd had to do enough stupid stuff the last few rounds so I decided to go with truth. " Is there a special man in your life?," she wanted to know almost conspiratorially and I winced at the question.

"No," I finally brought out, trying not to let my voice tremble as I did so. Wanda's expression changed from amusement to concern when she saw my reaction to the question and before anyone could say anything I got up and walked with trembling legs to my room where I let myself slide onto the cool floor and tried to get my emotions under control again. The images of last year came flooding back to me and I tried to block out the screams that were reverberating in my ears again. Tears streamed down my cheeks and sobs wracked my body. I couldn't break down. I couldn't let myself become the wreck I was after that incident but everything I had tried to lock away burst to the surface again and I was back in Paris watching the love of my life die in my arms.