Dark heart

Chapter 13

"Any idea how we can get him back?" Sam just wanted to know from Steve as I entered the room. Bucky was still unconscious and tied to a chair, so he would not pose a threat. " The last time he was just remembering me bit by bit", replied Steve, seeming only to notice my presence. " Oh, hey, Alex. Do you know anything more?" he asked and turned to me with a smile. " Yeah, I kept bringing him back after his missions. Hydra never figured out how I did that, so the weak point in their brainwashing was always the same", I told him and nodded. From the corner of my eye, I could see that the others were also coming to us. " Where the hell am I and what do you want from me?" I heard Bucky's voice from behind me, drawing our attention back to him.

"Bucky, it's Steve. I'm your best friend. Come on, try to remember, buddy", Steve asked him and the distrust in Bucky's facial features was unmistakable. " I don't know you", he said only monotonous. „You can imagine it as if the Bucky we know with all his memories had been locked into a room. Sometimes, like a few months ago, he manages to escape if he's fighting it hard enough or being triggered by something like you", I explained, and Steve nodded thoughtfully. „What if he doesn't make it? To break out, I mean. " Tony wanted to know and my gaze wandered to him.

" Then someone has to go in and open the door for him", I replied with a slight smile. „But how? I mean, there aren't any rooms with doors in a head, are there?" Bruce also got involved. " No, but you can visualize it. When I enter a person's head, I visualize a building, their mind. Then I can go to the different rooms. Pain, feelings, memories, thoughts. . . Everything has its own room and each of these I can change. My powers allow me to do that and these visualizations focus them," I explained to the others. "So all you have to do is find the right room and open the door so Bucky can be back," Nat concluded and I nodded. " Then I'd say you pay him a visit,' Sam said and I turned back to Bucky. I looked him in the eye and began to visualize.

How I made a person's mind look always depended on what feelings I perceived when I penetrated. Bucky's house was always relatively gloomy and plain. But it also had some bright rooms. I walked down the long hallway and passed a door with light and dark spots, his memories. I kept walking, past light and dark doors until I came to a metal door. That was it. The cell where I used to find him in. Hidden in the very back, barely visible in the sparse lighting. I pushed the heavy latch aside and pushed the door open. In the darkest corner of the room, a silhouette lay huddled on the floor. This time it was even worse than usual and my heart tightened. "Hey Buck, time to go," I said softly, walking towards him. I took his arm and gently pulled him up. He was wobbly on his feet but I managed to get him out of the room.

My work here was done so I withdrew from his mind again. It took me a moment to see the room in the headquarters and the others sharply before me again. All eyes were on Bucky, who blinked in confusion before he seemed to understand what was going on. " Alex?," He asked, his voice breaking. He looked searchingly back and forth until I stepped up to him with quick steps. I knelt down in front of him and began to undo the restraints. As soon as he was free I wrapped him in my arms and could feel his body tremble. " Shh. It's okay, I'm here," I whispered and I felt a hot tear drip down on my neck. God, I hated seeing him like that. He hated that side of himself more than anything and every time I had brought him back he had broken down. And yet, each time, he had asked me to do it again. He didn't want to be an uncaring monster, even if it broke his heart. Again and again.

"It's okay. Nothing happened, you didn't hurt anyone,' I tried to reassure him but he continued to tremble in my arms. He literally clawed into the fabric of my top and there was complete silence in the room. It took a few more minutes for him to calm down and I broke away from him a bit. " Are you okay again?," I wanted to know and he nodded hesitantly. I slid away from him a little so he could see the others staring at him in shock. I guess they didn't expect that kind of reaction. " Bucky?," Steve called his attention and looked increasingly worried. " I'll be all right," was all the he said, and got up slowly. " I need some fresh air," he added, weaving his way out between the others. " I'll talk to him," Steve said and was about to go after him, but I held him by the arm. " Give it some time," I advised him and he nodded with a sigh.

Shortly afterwards the others left and Steve dropped himself on the chair on which Bucky had been sitting. " I've never seen him like that before, Alex", he said in despair, running his hands over his face. I squatted him so that we were at eye level and gently placed a hand on his forearm. " He doesn't like to talk about it but it's hard for him. He always reacted like that after I brought him back. All we can do is be there for him", I explained, and he looked up. „He needs you Steve, even if he won't admit it", I added, and he nodded. „I'm beginning to understand why you're so important to him", he said with a squeaky smile and I squeezed his arm slightly. Come on. Let's get him back on his feet", I answered with a smile and pulled him up.