every page matters (chaelisa)

Horses and Soulmates

"How does it feel?" Chaeyoung asks Jisoo, both are just eight-year olds, sitting in the yard boarded by their elementary school and the stream that runs through their town. This is the year that they are attached by the hip, mainly because Chaeyoung is new and shy and not yet the obnoxiously (depending on who you ask) loud teenager she would become, and Jisoo likes being the bold one for once. "To find your soulmate?"

It is also the year that Jisoo meets Jennie and the quarter notes on the inside of her left wrist that just perfectly match Jisoo's on the right, and that is when she knows; Jennie is her soulmate.

There's not much that Chaeyoung knows about soulmates, she is eight years old and her primary fascination is with horses, although she has never seen one in real life. They are pretty, though, in all of her favorite picture books, and she wonders if her soulmate will like horses too. Jisoo does not like horses. Jennie does, though, and that is why Chaeyoung does not understand why the universe has destined them for each other.

"It's nice," Jisoo shrugs, pulling up grass from the yard and twirling it between her fingers. "Jennie understands a lot of things about me."

"But she likes horses. You don't like horses."

"That's okay," Jisoo laughs. "I like her."

That's gross, Chaeyoung thinks, but if Jisoo likes Jennie despite their core difference, there must be something to this soulmate thing.

(Still, she really wants hers to like horses.)

~

Chaeyoung is 20 years old. She will punch anyone whoever mentions anything about her childhood horse fixation.

Jisoo and Jennie had it easy, with their soulmate marks so prominently displayed on their wrists. Chaeyoung? Not so much. When she was younger, she had cherished the horse head mark on her right upper back. Now, she shudders when she sees it in the mirror after showers. There's no easy way to ask a woman you're into if she happens to have a horse head on her back, either. Chaeyoung's pretty lonely, if she's being completely honest- to put it lightly.

God, Jisoo and Jennie had it so easy.

It's not all bad, though. She's found comfort in the small bits of their society that reject soulmate culture completely-these people don't see any need in trusting a universe that has never shown any love to them. And she likes it, she supposes. There is always someone to kiss there, someone who is just as rejected as she is, just as hurt and twisted and burned where their soulmate marks meet their skin.

She's at one of her friend's places in the seedy part of town, laying on the couch with some girl named Joy who she hardly knows. Joy is cute, but young, even younger than Chaeyoung is, which is saying something. Fresh out of high school, if she were to guess. "Where are you branded?" Joy asks, Chaeyoung can't see any marks on Joy's skin.

Maybe she's the one?

"On my back. You?" Chaeyoung treads carefully, but she knows her answer as soon as the light drops from Joy's eyes.

"My ankle."

"Ah."

Silence. Then-

"What's yours?" Joy's disappointed, she can tell. She's still a little naive, still getting her hopes up every time she meets an unclaimed pretty girl. Chaeyoung's too used to this process by now, she's almost as cynical as the people she surrounds herself with.

"It's, uh, pretty stupid," Chaeyoung laughs, running a hand through her hair. "I used to be crazy obsessed with horses when I was a kid. So, my mark-"

"Is a horse?" Joy sits up straight, leaning towards Chaeyoung excitedly. Maybe Joy's an ex-horse girl, too, Chaeyoung thinks. "A horse head?"

"Uh, yeah, maybe..." Chaeyoung trails off, fixing Joy with a strange gaze. "Why...?"

"My sister..." Joy murmurs, seeming almost hesitant to continue, and Chaeyoung knows she's probably waging a war in her head over the right decision. "She has a horse head on her back too. It's, hm, on the left side, I think."

And, as soon as Joy says it, Chaeyoung knows. It's her.

"I've got to meet your sister."

~

Joy talks a lot when she's nervous, Chaeyoung observes. Lisa is 24 years old, her step-sister, technically, but saying step-sister is too complicated and it's just way easier to call Lisa her sister instead, Joy explains. Lisa's in her second-to-last year of being a student, in school to become a- "Get this!" Joy giggles- a veterinarian. She likes to wear her hair down, she wears glasses, and her first word was "yes" and, honestly, by the time they get to the doorstep, Chaeyoung feels like she's known Lisa for years.

(Nothing could prepare her for how pretty Lisa is, though. She answers the door and Chaeyoung's not proud to say she almost faints, if it weren't for Joy steadying her by her side.)

"Lisa-unnie, I found your soulmate!" Joy says, bright smile on her face, and Lisa turns pale and, for a moment, it almost seems like Lisa is the one who will need Joy's help standing straight. Lisa recovers, clearing her throat and offering Chaeyoung a smile to rival her sister's.

"Park Chaeyoung," Chaeyoung tries her best at mimicking confidence, extending a slightly sweaty hand towards her soulmate. "It's nice to meet you, at last."

"Lisa Manoban," Lisa's hand meets Chaeyoung's and she knows that this is not a movie, this is reality, but that doesn't explain the way she feels after their hands meet for the first time. She feels-

(She's not sure what she feels, she is nervous and jittery and happy and scared, and she might throw up on Lisa Manoban's pristine white shoes, and that would be awful.)

She feels complete.

Maybe, just maybe, the universe really was onto something when it declared Chaeyoung and Lisa soulmates. Maybe.

~

"I love you."

"Really?"

"Yes. Even though you don't like horses."

"I love you, too."

~

Chaeyoung is the only person she will tolerate horses for.

They are disgusting and smelly and they shit everywhere, but they make Chaeyoung smile, and so they might not be that bad after all.

"Babe, come on, help me brush Lucky!" Chaeyoung calls out from inside the stable. It smells the worst there, Lisa tries to avoid going in on their visits with all her power. This time, though, she doesn't really have a choice.

"I'm on my way!" Lisa sighs, begrudgingly making her way towards the main stable. She takes her time on the walk over, admiring the open, grassy space surrounding the stable. It's a nice contrast from the city she's used to, she'll give it that much. And it's a nice balance they have, living in the city doesn't leave Chaeyoung many options to get in touch with her inner horse girl, so Lisa found the ranch for them to volunteer at some weekends. It's incredibly rewarding to see Chaeyoung that happy.

Still, the smell. It's awful. It's a hot summer day, too, the kind of hot where all Lisa wants to do is lay naked in front of her fans on the floor of the living room at home. And yet, she's here.

Chaeyoung smiles at her when she enters the stable, gazing out at her from underneath a sunhat. She has the most beautiful melting chocolate eyes and her smile is synonymous to breathing, Lisa decides. And she can't help but smile back, despite the sun and the heat and the horses and the smell.

It's all worth it for Chaeyoung.

~

© sayochisas