𝚆𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚜 || 𝚜𝚊𝚙𝚗𝚊𝚙

Chap 04

                           " ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʟᴀsᴛs ғᴏʀᴇᴠᴇʀ,
                          ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜɪs ɪs ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ɴᴏᴡ "

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

I exhale quietly as the small warm breeze runs through our hair. We stare out at the green soccer before us, a couple players practicing. "I'm stupid," I admit blatantly. Alex scoffs and looks over at me as I shrug.

"You're upset... because you're stupid? You do not seem stupid to me, Nick," he hands me a genuine smile and I shake my head, biting my lip. How did I even end up in this situation where I have to spill my guts to someone I met yesterday.

"I'm not going to graduate. I won't pass my English class. I'm going to disappoint everyone," my voice cracks.

There's a moment of silence before Alex speaks again, "you're going to graduate, Nick. Don't beat yourself up, we all struggle with something. I suck at English, too, I get your pain."

"But your gonna graduate," I spit. "I'm not going to, Alex! I'm gonna be a super senior or something, I'm actually stupid," I whine like a five year old. "My ex girlfriend-" I cut myself off before saying anything, regretting it immediately.

"Your ex-girlfriend what?" Alex pressures and I suck in a deep breath.

"She cheated on me," I whisper. There's silence again, between the two of us, and I cringe at the fact that I said it out loud. I admitted it. Then I feel an arm wrap around me, bringing unwanted tears to my eyes.

"Nobody deserves that. Especially not you," Alex says softly and I feel my walls crash down with a loud crumbling sound. I begin to shake as quite sobs escape my mouth, tears not dripping down my cheeks. "I'm here, I'm here," Alex whispers as he turns me so he can hug me.

"I loved her," I cry into his chest and he rubs my shoulder as I shake uncontrollably.

I cry for a little longer, not even being able to care that I met him yesterday or that I've never cried like this in front of anyone. My throat is sore from sobbing when I finally bring myself to pull away.

"Nick... I'm sorry. I'm sorry because that's fucking terrible and I wouldn't wish that kind of betrayal on anybody," Alex tells me quietly. I simply shrug, wiping my face quickly so no one notices. My cheeks are flushed from crying, but also from embarrassment.

"I guess I wasn't good enough," I choke out as the memories urge through my mind.

"You know that's not true," Alex accuses and I scoff. Can he not see me? There's obviously something wrong with me. I'm not going to graduate and I'm still crying over the ex who cheated on me four years ago.

"Look at me," I raise my voice. "There's something wrong with me, Alex! I'm a fucking idiot who can't pass English and who's crying over an ex girlfriend from four years ago!" I exclaim, my hands formed into fists to relieve some anger.

"Neither is your fault!" He fires back and I'm brought to silence. My hands relax and I slump down.

Alex's brown eyes stare into my own, "this is not your fault. It isn't," he tells me and I feel tears return. I wipe them away, bored of being this pussy who keeps crying. Alex stands up, "for English, do you have a plan on how you could graduate?" He asks

I shake my head and stand up as well. My legs feel wobbly and my chest feels heavy. I thought I'd feel a little better, but I actually feel worse. I'd never admitted it; what Paige had done. Not out loud.

"Have you thought of a tutor?" Alex asks me as he picks up the ball.

My lips as I realize I hadn't really thought of it. I thought I was too stupid for even a tutor, but at this point I'll take whatever I can't get. "But who? I doubt anyone wants to tutor me a month before schools over," I sigh.