She Keeps Me Warm

11

It's been three hours since she kissed Laura; probably the most terrifying three hours of Carmilla's life. She spent the time on the couch questioning how quickly she could fix this so Laura could forget it ever happened. Laura had run upstairs- probably to her office- and hadn't made much noise since. Carmilla could only imagine her panic. Feelings were feelings, there's no doubting that; but Carmilla had pushed the barrier they'd been too anxious to cross. She turned admission and flirting into physicality and it's going to cost her Laura before she's ever really had her. There could be no other explanation for Laura's silence. She's never silent. Air quicker goes mute before Laura Hollis.

She's done it. She's ruined this relationship before it had a chance. They'll never go on a first date. They'll never argue about Laura being on her side of the bed. She'll never succumb to all the universally sickening affections of surprising Laura for birthdays and holidays. Buying a ring that means something to her so she can propose properly. She'll never get the happy ending she only dared dream about. Even though she's so sure she could possibly--.

A loud thumping coming down the stairs shot her to her feet. It's Laura standing at the foot of the stairs with a suitcase in hand and fear in her eyes. It makes Carmilla's blood run cold. A fear she didn't even know she had was staring her in the face like a Fourth of July rocket. Laura is leaving.

"What are you doing?" She asked. The answer is obvious. It is loud, vibrant, radiating. It is as clear as a bottle of vodka with twice the burn, and yet she asked anyway.

Laura fiddles with the handle of the suitcase, unsure how to feel. "I-I think maybe we have some thinking to do, and maybe that's easier done alone. You're feeling a lot, and so you kissed me out of stress. It happens. I don't want to make anything hard for you, so I'll go crash at a motel or something until—"

"Laura, put the bag down please." Carmilla points to the floor, eyes pleading more than words can really do. Laura's got it wrong. All wrong.

"It's okay. I get it. We can just--."

"Laura, put the bag down or so help me I'll burn it on the stove top myself." Her voice is stern, steady, an opposition to the fear in her heart. The suitcase clattered to the floor, scaring Laura who clearly intended on its staying vertical. Carmilla is just grateful for the chance to explain. Pointing to the couch, she orders, "Sit."

Like mind control, Laura does as she is instructed without any argument. Carmilla allows herself to store this to memory for later. She needs this. If by some divine magic she gets to hold on to this—whatever it is—for just a while longer, she needs an ace to play if Laura is always going to assume the worst in things. It's not like her. Laura's usually so positive. It saddens her how quickly that changes when it's her heart.

With a deep intake of breath, she joins Laura. "I didn't kiss you out of stress."

"But you've been dealing with so much! My moving in, running a company, this new relationship, the people dying for insight on us!"

"'The people dying for insight' are just business suits looking for something to dismantle my name with. That won't happen, not because of you. Running a company is as much stress as one could imagine, and not something I'm not used to. That's what hot baths are for.

"As for you, Cupcake," Carmilla slid closer, "You do not stress me out...on a good day. You...make me nervous."

"I make you, nervous?" Laura blinked rapidly, a quick addition to Carmilla's list of Laura's Most Adorable Faces. "Me?"

"You. Don't ask me how because it's a very long list. But it's not stress inducing. Not directly. It's more of—"

"Carm, you're stumbling."