Liam Payne Imagines

Push me away all you want, I'm never gonna stop trying

My hands shook slightly as I noticed Liam walk in the door. I thought it'd be okay to come to our old restaurant. I thought maybe I'd hurt him so badly that he would avoid places that reminded him of me.

I feined carelessness as I laughed at one of my friend's jokes that I'd only half heard. I was keeping one of my eyes on Liam as he went to the greeter to get seated. Had he seen me yet? Was he aware this was the closest we'd been since I'd left him crying that night?

I wished my skin were the color of the purple and green leather that decorated our booth. I nervously chewed on a fry as I stared at Liam laughing with the friends he'd brought. I wished I could look away, but I couldn't manage to force myself.

"Y/n, what are you looking at?" My friend asked.

"Oh nothing," I tried to make myself laugh to cover up how awful I was feeling.

"Oh, it's Liam!" One of my friends squealed.

"Shut up," I hissed through my teeth, but it was too late.

"Liam!" She called across the restaurant. Liam looked startled, and then, he saw me, and his face twisted into a pained grimace. I felt my heartache as he sauntered over. Though we hadn't been in the same room for a while, he'd texted me just this morning. Liam hadn't missed a day of texting me since I'd left him. Every day he asked me how I was, and if I would reconsider my decision. I never answered.

Liam had schooled his features into a pleasant look by the time he'd reached our table. My friends didn't know that our break up had been painful. They thought we had amicably broken it off. Some of my friends missed Liam being my boyfriend, they'd thought he was good for me. One or two of my less loyal friends probably would end up flirting with Liam tonight.

"How are you girls enjoying your night?" Liam was nothing if not charming. My friends giggled happily. I stayed quiet. Liam stood there making conversation with everyone but me, but I noticed that his eyes kept drifting toward mine. After a few minutes, Liam moved his hand a bit from where he was leaning on the table, and his hand touched mine. A jolt went through me immediately and I jumped up.

"I forgot my jacket in the car," I said loudly and abruptly. Everyone at the table gave me an odd look. Liam looked like he wanted to say something, but kept his mouth shut.

"I'm gonna get it," I trailed off. I quickly jogged out of the restaurant. Truth was, I was abandoning the group. I had no intentions of going back in there and facing Liam. It was cowardly and rude I know, but it was better than watching Liam laugh and smile when I'd forced myself to give him up. It'd be like watching someone enjoy a drink as you were trying to get sober.

I heard a pounding of shoes on the wet pavement behind me. I turned to see Liam following me to my car. I cursed under my breath, and slowed my walk, there was no sense in prolonging the inevitable.

"Wait!" Liam called.

"I am," I said dismally.

"Y/n," Liam said catching up to me. "It's nice to see you."

"Yeah," I said, not meeting his eyes.

"Y/n, can we talk," Liam said after an awkward silence.

"We can, it won't change anything," I mumbled.

"Why," Liam's voice sounded miserable. I stayed silent, not trusting my voice in the moment.

"I just wanna know," Liam's voice was quavering, and I bit my lip as I tried not to get emotional.

"What did I do wrong? What made you stop loving me?" Liam asked, barely able to get the words out. I felt emotion rise in my throat. I tried to keep my mouth shut, but he needed to know it wasn't his fault.

"You think I don't love you?" I demanded. "I love you with all my fucking heart! You're all I think about day and night. Being away from you is like missing a limb. But Liam you deserve better than me. I'm a mess, you don't need me screwing up your life.

Liam walked forward and held me in his arms. I felt tears fill my eyes. I wanted to push him away, but I didn't have the strength.

"You aren't a fuck up-" Liam began.

"I've already hurt you so much," I said mournfully.

"The only reason I'm hurt is because you walked away. You don't mess up my life when you're in it silly," Liam wiped my tears gently.

"We can't do this, I'm not good enough for you."

"Push me away all you want, I'm never gonna stop trying," Liam squeezed my hands. "We belong together, I'm never letting you go."

I looked at him for a long moment. I imagined what it would be like to not let my insecurities get in the way of us. I felt so heavy, but when I was with Liam it was like he lightened me.

"Please let's try this again," Liam said kissing my temple.

"I would love to but-"

Liam cut me off by pressing his lips to mine. I couldn't help but lean into him and sigh as he kissed me.

"Okay," I whispered. "Let's try again."