Emo boy [Stardew Valley]

Chapter 7 - A nightly encounter

I've just arrived back home after staying at Sebastian's place for the night. My mind has been replaying the conversation I had with him over and over again. I wonder why he's so isolated. He reminds me of myself, back when I still lived with my parents. I didn't have any siblings, nor did I have a great relationship with my parents.

I sort of forced myself to hide from them and the world, as to not bring any negative attention to myself. I usually stayed in my room, teaching myself how to draw, how to write, how to craft. I tried everything I possibly could, but of course, my parents wouldn't pay attention. They never acknowledged anything I did.

My grandpa was the only one who often picked me up and took me to the farm to spend some time with me, but he died when I was still pretty young. As I was growing up, I never really had any friends. I felt so lonely. So much, that I got used to it and thought that this was the only comfortable way of living. I thought it would be so terribly exhausting to have people constantly around me, asking me what I was doing. People to worry about. I thought I didn't want it, but deep down, I knew that I needed it.

Now that I'm starting to develop actual connections with people, I'm so terrified of going back to how things were. I'm scared I'd end up by myself again. I don't want to mess anything up and lose the people I have now. In such a short amount of time, they've gotten so important to me. So important, that I don't ever want them to feel as lonely as I did for years.

Sebastian often mentions how he wants to be left alone, how he doesn't want anyone around him. But I'm always there during these moments, and he never seems to want me to leave. Deep down, I think he knows he's lying to himself. Shane might be a similar case, but it's harder for me to figure out what exactly he's feeling. No one wants to be lonely. Not even someone as terribly rude and cold as Shane.

He kind of reminds me of someone, but I can't exactly figure out who. It's as if someone from my past has suddenly re-entered my life as a different person. Maybe that's why I feel the urge to get to know him. Maybe it's destiny.

Enough of that, I should really get some work done. My coop is almost finished, which means that I should probably pick up some food and other necessities later today, then I can adopt the chickens tomorrow. It's funny though. Just a couple of days ago I was worried I wouldn't be able to fit into this town, and here I am, worrying about people's private business when I should be working. I guess things happen faster than I'd expected.

I haven't gotten a lot of work done today, probably because I arrived at home when it was already afternoon, and my head continued pounding from the cups of beer I chugged away last night. I'll pick up the stuff from Marnie, and then head to bed. As I make my way to her farm, I remember walking past the river during my first time walking back from the Saloon.

I bet it would be nice to just take a walk when it's dark and admire the scenery. I still have a little bit of time tonight, I don't feel very tired anyway, maybe I can grab the stuff and then head back here. I decide to do exactly that.

Strolling along the river is nice. This area is beautiful in general. Never in my life did I think I'd be living in a place like this, but here I am. I'm so glad I made that decision. I finally feel so free and like I've actually found my purpose. As I head further towards a pond, I see the outline of someone sitting at the edge of the dock. A simple lantern placed next to them.

Who else would be here at night? Is it Sebastian? But why would he be so far away from his home when he has a lake right outside his door? As I walk closer, I notice the blue torn apart hoodie, as well as the short black hair. I begin to contemplate whether or not I should actually sit beside him or not, but why shouldn't I?

I want him to stop ignoring me, and I can only do that by approaching him whenever I can. We're alone. It's dark out. Maybe he'll stay. I take a deep breath in and then make my way towards Shane. I sit beside him. He glances at me for a split second
"Up late, huh?" He asks, then hands me a beer. "Here, have a cold one." I'm about to decline, but then I realize that this is the perfect opportunity to make him not hate me as much. One beer shouldn't be too bad. I take it.

I feel too scared to say anything. I'm worried I'd say something to scare him off again. I fidget with my hands, carefully taking a sip of my beer. Suddenly, Shane begins to speak
"You ever feel like... no matter what you do, you're gonna fail? Like you're stuck in some miserable abyss, and you're so deep you can't even see the light of day?"

I silently nod my head, unsure of what to say just yet. I'm not sure if he wants advice, or simply vent. I just decide to let him speak freely.
"I just feel like no matter how hard I try... I'm not strong enough to climb out of that hole."
I stay silent for a second, then quickly chug the rest of my beer. He turns to look at me and grins "you're a fast drinker... Woman after my own heart." Then he sighs and throws his empty bottle behind him. "Just don't make it a habit... You got a future ahead of you, still."

Suddenly he gets up, grabs his few empty cans of beer and heads off. I stay for a bit longer, then also get up to head home, but am stopped by another person. I jump at the sudden encounter "sssh, it's just me!", I hear a familiar voice whisper. "Abby? Why are you here?", I ask her concerned.
"I was out looking for you! I was on a stroll earlier today and I saw you coming to this farm. You were... talking to Shane?"

I nervously nod my head. They warned me not to talk to him, but I did anyway. I don't want my friends to be angry. "Well, it's up to you but he's really not a good influence. Maybe try to keep that in mind.", she warns me again
"I know but.. he doesn't seem too bad.", I say. She laughs at me "have you seen him? Just by looking at him you can tell he's got some serious issues." "Well, what can you say about me just by looking at me?".

Abigail seems slightly taken aback by my question. She thinks for a second "that.. you're a farmer"
"Because I wear this type of outfit, and it's dirty, you assume I'm a farmer. Farmers are stereotyped to be dirty, gross, creepy... do you think I am any of these things?"

Abigail quickly shakes her head and puts her hand on my arm "Of course not! I'm sorry!". I sigh "I'm glad you're trying to look out for me, but please let me form my own opinions about people. I don't want to walk around with prejudices."
I say to her, then tell her that I should really head to bed now. I glance back at her once more. She seems somewhat shocked.

I guess she never saw me standing up for myself or others before, but I had to. What Shane told me.. it made me so sad. I don't even know if he was talking to me or just rambling to himself, but I definitely feel like I was supposed to be there at that exact moment. I feel like I've heard those exact words before a bunch of years ago.

I really feel like I've already met Shane at some point. Or maybe I'm just crazy