Emo boy [Stardew Valley]

Chapter 12 - reconciliation

I stare at him from afar for a little while, contemplating whether or not I should actually approach him. He's all alone with no distractions. If I ever want to figure out why he's been avoiding me, now is the best chance. I take a deep breath in and continue walking towards the very edge of the docks, then take a seat a couple meters away from Sebastian.

He hears a slight creaking sound of the wood and turns around. He glances at me for a split second, then turns away again. I grab my rod and throw the bait into the sea. It's silent for a couple minutes. There's no fish nibbling on my hook, and Sebastian hasn't said a word either. I guess he's still ignoring me. I catch my first fish of the day and throw it into a basket, proudly I smile. "Congrats". I suddenly hear someone say.

I look at Sebastian. He turns around and makes eye contact. I blink nervously and glance away. "Was it your plan to go for late night fishing or did you come here to see me?" He says. I frown and look at him angrily. "Why would I be here to see you?", he seems slightly taken aback by my sudden anger. "Are you okay?... I've been meaning to ask that for a while, because I've had the feeling you were avoiding me." He asks. "Me? Avoiding you? You were avoiding me!"

Sebastian raises his brows and his eyes get larger "I... I wasn't! What makes you think that?" I sigh "You stopped talking to me. You met up with Abigail and never acknowledged my existence. You didn't even bother to talk about that hug again while I was stuck thinking about it constantly! You completely ignored Sam and me...all the time, for weeks! Do you have any idea how upset you've been making me feel? Did that hug really mean nothing to you? Then why did it mean so much to me?!" I breathe in and out rapidly, my eyes are starting to tear up.

I realize how much I've just overshared and quickly cover my mouth and turn around, just staring into the ocean. I can feel Sebastian still looking at me. "Sami... did I really upset you this much?", he asks carefully. "Yes! Yes you did! You idiot!", I scream out without turning around to face him. "I'm so sorry, Sami...".
I didn't expect him to apologize. His voice sounds so quiet and sincere. It makes me feel comfortable.

My face relaxes. Sebastian suddenly scooches closer to me. "I truly didn't mean to avoid you. I was so caught up in my work and my own thoughts, I never once thought about how you must be feeling. That was selfish of me. Sorry." he says. I sigh "It was selfish, but it's okay. I avoided you in return, so technically my behavior wasn't any better."

"You did the right thing", he responds without hesitation. "I'm glad that it's raining. I like this weather because it makes everyone disappear", he says quietly "I always feel so anxious around people, but I don't feel that way around you."
I quickly face him and look at him surprised
"But what about Sam and Abigail?" Sebastian scoffs "They're my friends, but they barely accept me for who I am. I feel like I constantly have to change myself in order to fit their expectations. I don't feel the need to do that around you.", he explains and I grin for a split second.

Suddenly, Abigail's face shoots into my thoughts and I turn away blushing. I'm still upset about the fact that he ignored me but made time for Abigail. Apparently spending time with her was more important to him than me, and he never once mentioned the hug, or anything we talked about.

Suddenly I hear him chuckle shortly "By the way, I really don't feel anything for Abigail" "Why are you telling me that?" I interrupt him. "It just came to my mind. Most people assume we like each other, but we don't. Honestly we hardly manage to tolerate each other's existence." But then why do they always cling onto one another like koalas? "Sadly, I can't tell the truth though. I wish I could, but right now, I have to keep pretending", he exclaims. I pout.

Why would he want to give everyone false hopes? Why would he give ME false hopes? But he doesn't actually like Abigail. So there's no reason for me to be jealous, is there? He doesn't like me either, though. Why would I be jealous if he isn't even mine. I glance at Sebastian's hands, he's fidgeting. "Also, what's your relationship with Shane?", he suddenly asks. "Why?"

He shrugs his shoulders "Well, I saw you carrying him to the hospital. He wouldn't let anyone just randomly do that. You were also very worried about him at the saloon". I scratch my neck nervously "Well, we just got closer. It just sort of...happened." Sebastian raises his brow "You're making it sound like you guys had sex or something."

I look at him shocked and wave my hands at him "No! No! That's not what I meant!" He chuckles "I know, I was just joking. Anyway, please keep your distance from him." "Why would I?". Seb sighs and lays his hand on my leg "He's dangerous. He's only going to upset you." I shake my head at him "He won't! My intuition was telling me to talk to him. It's hard to explain, but somehow I feel the need to be around him. He reminds me of someone who used to be in my life."

Sebastian hesitates to answer for a bit, then looks at me with a completely straight face "Was your dad an alcoholic?", he asks. How does he know that? I can't even bring myself to reply. He nods and says "Knew it." I don't get what that has to do with anything. "You see your dad in Shane. That's why your heart wants you to stay close to him. I get he's important to you, and you might miss your dad, but this won't end well."

I never even thought about it like that. My dad might've been an alcoholic, and he always neglected me, but I still started to miss him when he was gone. I just wanted him back. I wanted him and me to have a normal father-daughter relationship. Is that really why I felt so drawn towards Shane since the very beginning? Because he reminded me of my dad? Because I wanted a father figure in my life? Shane is only 6 years older than me. Why do I have these types of feelings towards him?

And why is Sebastian able to read me so easily when I've been struggling to understand myself for ages? Even though Shane reminds me of my dad, I don't think he's a bad person. He means well. He's just lonely and desperately needs help. The chances are low, but maybe, hopefully, he will find his purpose and get better.

"I promise you, I'll be careful. But I won't stay away from Shane. I want to be there to help him." Seb stares at me for a little while, then grabs something out of his pocket "Your choice, I guess". He says and lights a cigarette under his umbrella that he's set up next to him. Before he can take a hit, I take the cigarette away from him and throw it into the water.

He looks at me confused. I take a wrapped piece of candy out of my pocket and place it in his hand.
"Chew on that instead. I don't want you to get hurt." I say and get up.

Without either of us saying another word, I head home.