I Knew You Were Trouble

Chapter 1; Once Upon A TimeA Few Mistakes Ago.

Chapter 1; Once Upon A Time,A Few Mistakes Ago.
(Picture of young Sophia and Ayyub)

I think when it's all over it just comes back in flashes, you know? It's like a kaleidoscope of memories; it just all comes back. But he never does. I think part of me knew the second I saw him that this would happen. It's not really anything he said, or anything he did -- it was the feeling that came along with it. Crazy thing is, I don't know if I'm ever going to feel that way again. But I don't know if I should. I knew his world moved too fast and burned to bright, but I just thought, 'How can the devil be pulling you toward someone who looks so much like an angel when he smiles at you?' Maybe he knew that when he saw me. I guess I just lost my balance. I think that the worst part of it all wasn't losing him. It was losing me.

I never knew that this one event, this one meeting, would change my world forever. I constantly think back to that night. If I knew what I knew now, would I change it? Would I run? Would I make sure I did everything I could to stop it from happening? Or would I let it happen? I guess the biggest question is, did I even have a choice? Would it matter what I could have done to stop it, at any point, or would it all have just happened regardless. Was it fate, or just a bad choice?

I'm going to start where it all began. 4 years ago at my cousin's party. Where my world began to change.

_____________________________________________________________________________

I was 15 years old back then. 15, innocent, naive and sweet. I didn't know about the world I was going to enter. I was staying at one of my distant cousins houses. Both my cousins, Anisah and Nagiba were around my age. But they seemed so mature, so experienced. I knew nothing about the lives they led, or were about to bring me into. I guess I didn't care, any excuse to get out of the hell that was my 'home'. My family were dysfunctional, to say the least. To cut a long and painful story short, my dad was abusive. But then again, it ran in his family so it seemed normal and 'right'.

My aunt and uncle were away for the weekend, so it was just Nagiba, Anisah and I. We did your usual girly things. I should probably add that only a year prior to this I was what you'd classify as fat. I definitely was anything but attractive, and I certainly knew it. But within that year I had lost the weight, I guess I figured the torment and self-loathing was not worth it. Although I still didn't gain the amount of confidence I had hoped once shedding the fat, I was still trying to get used to my new look. Regardless of the change, I still clung to my hoodies, trackies and trainers.

My cousins were both all dressed up, hair done, makeup done, even dressed in the prettiest clothes. I was completely envious of the confidence they had. They began their work on me; they straightened my hair and had just begun to put some makeup on.

"You know what would be a good idea?"Anisah smirked.

"What?" Nagiba asked, still concentrating on my makeup.

"We should have some people over!"

Both sisters gleamed, thinking back to it now that should have been an indication to what was to come.

Naive as I was, I believed that the people would be a few of their girlfriends. How mistaken I was. Within an hour their house had filled with a mixture of boys and girls all seeming to be older than us. That confused the hell out of me. Within a short amount of time this little get together turned into a wild house party, the type you see in movies; with inappropriate behaviour, underage drinking, drugs... I didn't even want to think of what was going on in the bedrooms. The room were the party was most alive was the large sitting room, which soon began to reek with the stench of alcohol and smoke. I pulled the hood of my hot pink hoodie over my head as the room began to fill up more and more.