Swear Jars and Babies (Book Four)

Chapter Fifty-Four

Chapter Fifty-Four

I tell my story in reverse cause it hurts

Girl it hurts too much to bare

But I'm tantalized by their legs and long hair

"He's finally asleep..." Niall whispered, walking into our room where I sat on the edge of our bed.

I felt out of place.

This really didn't feel like our room anymore...

"That's what happens when you give him sugar... You act like its new information..." I said as a side thought. My stomach uneasy, my head starting to hurt as the anxiety of what was about to happen took over.

"I know..." Niall said quietly, leaning against the doorframe as he looked at me.

He wasn't going to start the conversation.

I didn't want to either...

So we stay in silence for a moment, simply just looking at each other.

But the elephant in the room wasn't going to go away.

It was only going to get bigger until one of us can't take it anymore.

And to be honest I didn't have it in me to fight.

"Harry..." Niall started, biting his lip as he shifted a little. He looked at me for just a second longer before looking away.

"Yeah?" I whispered, wanting to know what he wanted to say. I wasn't going to be the one to start this...

I had done my part.

It was his turn.

"I'm sorry..."

The words floated in the air, almost like the elephant was wearing them now.

"Are you?" I asked after a moment.

"Yes... I shouldn't have said those things... I shouldn't have pushed you away... I shouldn't have lied to you. I'm sorry Harry... I'm sorry I hurt you."

"Just because you say it doesn't mean that you're actually sorry... This isn't the first time you've hurt me Niall... I love you, but dammit Niall sometimes it doesn't feel like you love me back. I get that you're not the best at showing it, I've learned that... but when you do shit like this... I don't have the proof that you still care. I can't lose you Niall... and it's not because I can't live without you... I know I can... it's because I don't want to. I don't want to live in a world where you aren't in my life..." I said honestly, looking at him in hopes that he'd look back at me.

He wouldn't though.

He always did this.

And it f ucking hurt.

"Why won't you look at me?"

"Because I can't without wanting to scream at you. I get that I f uck up a lot, I'm a terrible person to be in love with... I love you... but I'm scared. I'm scared that you're going to do what everyone in my life so far has done and leave me. You're going to pack up everything and just go, not even sparing me a second thought. I'm f ucking terrified that you're gonna wake up one day and realize that I'm not what you want anymore... and that's why I'm the way I am. I can't lose you because I can't live without you... I can't..."

And slowly he falls apart, finally looking at me with tears streaming down his face.

"You're wrong." I said, shaking my head as I stood up from the bed.

"W-What?"

"You're wrong." I said again, walking over to him before placing my hands on his hips.

I rested my forehead against his as I looked at him.

I grabbed his hand as I did this, linking our fingers together.

"I will never ever leave you. You're what I want Niall James, you've always been what I wanted... You make me a better person... You make me feel complete and I wouldn't sacrifice it for the entire world. You're the love of my life and I don't get why you don't see that. I will love you like I did yesterday... I will love you like I did today... and I will love like I will tomorrow for the rest of my life... my question for you though... Are you going to finally let me in completely? Are you going to stop pushing me away? Are you going to love me like I love you?"

"How are you so sure that you won't eventually stop loving me?" He whispered, looking up at me. I sighed before closing my eyes.

"Because I know I won't. I won't because every time I look at you its like I'm falling in love all over again... You're my life Niall... Well besides the kids but you get the point." Niall let out a small laugh at that, biting his lip as he continued to look at me.

"You're all I want and need Niall... I'm not gonna throw it all away unless that's what you want from me... You're the love of my life... the father of children... I would do anything for you if you'd just ask."

"What if I asked for the moon?" He whispered, humor clear in his voice.

"I can get you a printed out picture but that's about it..." I replied back, smirking when he rolled his eyes.

"You're an idiot."

"Your idiot though, for as long as you'll let me." I whispered, leaning in close again.

I wanted to kiss him.

"I'm planning on keeping you forever... If that's okay with you." Niall whispered back, his lips barely touching mine as he spoke.

"It's absolutely fine with me..."

"This is where you're supposed to kiss me."

And that's what I did.

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Narry being all Narry like.

Jfc.

Anyways there were a couple comments about Harry being too forgiving, but let's be real here guys... it's Harry's personality in this fic.

He fights for what he loves and what he believes in.

He forgives easily because he cares, not because he's being stupid.

But yeah.

QOTD: if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?

AOTD: I would go to Ireland because that's where my family originated from. I like the Irish culture and from the pictures I've seen it's absolutely beautiful there.

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Connie xx