Swear Jars and Babies (Book Four)

Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter Thirty-Four

Every time I come around you're ready for the letdown.

Here I sit alone, it was my fault I know.

If I were you I wouldn't take me back

Just let me down slowly please

My heart literally stopped after Sarah opened the door, the sight before one that I wouldn't wish upon my own enemy. The room was filled with machines, wires sticking out of them and running across the room until they reached two separate incubators. I covered my mouth when I realized that was where the twins were, and there was no doubt in my mind that those wires were connected to them somehow.

The pain in my chest was nothing compared to the pain in my heart now. No parent should ever have to see the sight before me.

"H-How is all this helping them?" I asked, stumbling over my words as I tried to wrap my head around it.

"I know it looks like a lot, but it's only because we needed two of everything pretty much... Each machine has its purpose Harry, and that purpose is to help your twins. It'll take some getting used to, but I promise that eventually they won't need them." Sarah said giving us a reassuring smile, but to be honest I wasn't very reassured. I was absolutely terrified at this point, every worse case scenario flashing through my mind. I was scared to move any closer, and instead I stood in the doorway. Niall was next to me and hadn't moved either.

We were scared.

"Ca-Can I see them?" I asked, but I wasn't really sure if that's what I wanted. Seeing them would probably make this nightmare real.

"Yes... You won't be able to hold them yet, but you can touch them." Sarah said, her smile now an encouraging one as she stepped aside. I grabbed Niall's hand as I limped towards where I was assuming the twins were.

When I finally saw them I felt like my world got just a little bit brighter, but at the same time it was like it was a little bit sadder too.

I wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel...

"They're both so tiny..." I whispered, looking at the two babies in complete awe. They looked no bigger than my hands... the diapers they wore nearly swallowing them whole. I was scared to touch them now.

They seemed so fragile.

But with a shaky hand, I reached into one of the incubators and stroked the baby's arm, earning a surprised huff coming from whichever baby it was. They didn't have their names on their incubators so I had no clue.

"That one is the girl. We've been meaning to put their names on the incubators, but we haven't quite got around to it. " Sarah said, her voice soft. She stood in the back of the room now, leaving Niall and I with a clear view of the twins.

"Jemma. Jemma Danielle." I whispered, a sad smile on my face as I looked at her. She didn't open her eyes, in fact she didn't even really move as I continued to run my finger down her arm. She looked peaceful, which in turn made me feel a little better. Niall rested his head on my shoulder as he too reached into the incubator. I looked away from Jemma and over to the other incubator that held Jonah. His eyes were open, staring up at the ceiling. I almost started crying when I saw the cloudiness that Sarah had mentioned earlier... I moved away from Jemma's incubator and over to Jonah's. I was more careful as I reached into it, more scared to touch him than I had been for Jemma.

He didn't make a noise when I touched him, he didn't even move. His eyes were still on the ceiling, his mouth closed as he stared.

"He really is blind..." I found myself whispering, blinking back tears as I looked at Jonah. I ended up crying anyways, no matter how hard I tried to stop myself from doing so. I had to look away from Jonah, taking my arm out of the incubator.

"I... I need a minute." I whispered before walking out of the room. I ended up sitting outside the door, placing my head in my hands as I tried to wrap my head around everything. Niall came out after a minute or so, taking the seat next to me.

"Are you okay?" He whispered. I took a deep breath as I tried to figure out how to answer him.

"I don't know. I'm just... I'm scared." I sighed, running a hand through my hair as I looked over at him. Niall didn't say anything for a minute, his attention only on the door. It was then that I noticed Niall was crying too.

"I'm scared too Harry. God. I'm terrified, but do you remember when you told me that it's okay to be scared?" Niall still didn't look at me but he did grab my hand. I looked down at our hands, biting my lip as I did so.

"I remember..."

"Then you of all people should know that it is. It's going to be okay Harry... Sure as hell doesn't feel like it right now, but I know that it will. It's going to be tough, but we can do it."

"How do you know that though? I mean, I'm not a very strong person sometimes Niall..." Niall finally looked at me, his eyebrows arched as he did so.

"You're an idiot. You do you seriously not see it? Harry, you're my savior... You keep my going, and for that I see you as a strong person. You're an idiot, but you're strong." Niall whispered before kissing me softly.

"I love you, my idiot." He said after pulling away, and I smiled at him softly before leaning my forehead against his.

"Your idiot."

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I honestly wasn't going to update this tonight because I had a pretty shitty night, but I know I haven't really been updating like I used to and I feel bad about it.

The chapters have also been low quality and I apologize.

This one probably isn't much better.

But yeah, im sorry.

Shiver made it into the final round for the bromance awards, so thank you guys for voting for me. I honestly can't tell you how grateful I am for your feedback, sometimes it brings a little light to my day. You guys are amazing :)

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