Swear Jars and Babies (Book Four)

Chapter Fifty-Two (N.H.)

Chapter Fifty-Two

I don't even know myself

I wish I could be someone else

But I don't have a clue at all

Oh yeah

I sat in the doctors office, a hospital gown hanging off my body as I waited nervously.

I didn't have a good reason to be here.

I just was.

My legs swung from side to side as I waited for the doctor, trying to keep myself occupied.

I couldn't think about it.

If I did. I wouldn't do this.

But I needed to...

Even though it didn't seem like it.

I looked at my phone, sighing as the time only seemed to stand still.

The clock on the wall even appeared to be taunting me.

I started to play with my fingers, looking at one of the posters on the wall.

I wish I hadn't.

This was the same room we had found out about the twins in...

"Five bucks it's a girl." Harry said, smiling brightly as I rolled my eyes at him.

"Harry, we aren't even sure yet..." I said.

"So? I still bet you its a girl."

"We're not betting on the gender Harry."

"Why not? It'll add some excitement."

"We've got a three year old, I think we have enough excitement."

"You just know you're gonna lose, that's why you won't bet me." Harry said smugly, leaning back on his chair.

"Idiot."

"Your idiot."

"My idiot." I smiled fondly at him as he kissed the side of my head.

"Even if it's not a girl, I'll still be happy." He whispered, linking is fingers with mine as he sat back down.

"Good, cause something tells me it's gonna be a boy." I smirked, earning a small glare from Harry.

"You're lucky I love you."

"You're right... I'm the luckiest man alive."

I sighed... looking away from the wall and up at the ceiling, blinking back tears.

I didn't like this feeling.

I didn't like the fact that my heart was telling me no and my head telling me yes.

I felt conflicted.

"Niall?" Jack walked into the room, looking at me through his glasses. I gave a simple wave, not really sure if I could talk yet.

I was on the brink of crying.

Jack sat down in the chair next to me, looking up at me as I tried to look anywhere but at him.

Alex looked almost exactly like him.

So it hurt even more.

"Now before we begin... I need to make sure that this is what you want." Jack said slowly, still looking at me. I glanced at him for just a second, only to wish I hadn't...