Your Story in that Stars

Ch. 04

I woke up at 5:05 am when the shower cut on, I rolled over to a find a small amount of light pouring under the closed bathroom door. I rolled back over and faced the wall, pulling my blanket over my head for a few more minutes of uncomplicated silence. Once I put the uniform on the stress of the day weighs heavy of my chest, or that could be the weigh of the padding.
The shower cut off at 5:10, my watch illuminated next to my head of the pillow. I stayed still under the covers until Kyro left the bedroom and closed the door quietly.
Today was possibly the day I found out weather I was an existing person or not, if I had a life before waking up in custody.
My nerves buzzed with electricity, stomachs curled in on itself the longer I thought about it. With shaky hands I pushed off the bed and flipped the light on. My uniform lay folded neatly where I had left it.
I got dressed quickly and moved to the bathroom so I could put up my hair neatly; the bathroom was still warm and a little fogged up. I didn't like looking at me in the mirror staring back at my false self, so I focused elsewhere. I took a few strands of my silver tipped hair and made three thin braids on my right side. Then I pulled it all back into a tight bun, and I gelled my baby hair back and into place. Every piece tight and clean, the uniform snug against my body as I zipped it. Once fully dressed I sighed, I looked like every other agent with the IGSS, I looked like a generic product.
I laced up my boots, buckling the two straps near the top and then situated my weapons; my KBAR was strapped around my upper thigh, and my baby blue gun sat snug on my waist. Once finished I took one last freeing breath before turning off the lights and leaving the bedroom. Kyro was also suited up and lounging in the living room with his feet up on the coffee table, my watch read 5:30.
"Sorry, the hair takes time." I uttered.
"Doesn't matter." He said dangling Jesus from his fingers, " They gave us a rental."
This didn't particularly interest me so I nodded. Kyro rose to his feet and I led us to the door before he could catch up.
I wasn't paying much attention as I walked, or as I enter the black bullet looking vehicle. I was distracted, my mind was spiraling a million miles an hour, I was so far away from what was happening or where we were going.
I've been lost for so long, I'm not sure I'm quite ready to be found. My life now is safe and stable, under close watch. I was allowed to wake up every day and had work to finish- very important work at that. I was the best in my field paired with the best in the agency. I had lived this schedule and this life for six years.
What if everything I know-everything I am- is because of the government after I woke up? All my skill and knowledge can be discredited. What if they don't find anything and I really am a nobody? How long can I keep asking the government for leniency? How can you trust a man you don't know to work for you?
"What do you want?"
"Sorry?"
"What do you want?" Kyros asked me again and nodded his head at the menu screens.
I was so caught up I hadn't noticed we pulled up to a coffee joint. A short pixie looking girl with pink tinted skin and long eyelashes waited patiently at a small window.
"Oh sorry." I muttered, " A mocha, I guess."
I spoke a little half heartedly as I turned back to face the window, looking at nothing in particular. I almost wanted to turn around and skip today. Kyro must've taken notice to my distraction, he didn't bug me again until he was handing me my coffee. He set the warm cup on my leg and waited for me to take it, I thanked him- or I thought I did but maybe I was too quiet. Kyro accepted whatever his drink was and hightailed it to the on ramp.
"Talk about something." He said without looking at me.
"Why?"
"To get you out of your head, you're going to self destruct soon. "
I could see his crooked inky smile but I didn't let it bother me now.
"Maybe I don't want to know yet." My voice sounded small and I knew it was a lie as it came out of my mouth.
"Eh-eh." Kyro mimicked a buzzer, " Try again."
" I'm not sure I'm ready to know who I am- who I was?"
"Why does that scare you?"
"I don't know" I uttered over the lid of the coffee cup.
Kyro tried to ask me more questions but when he realized I wasn't going to respond he turned the radio up as high as it would allow him to.
-
IGSS gave me a private room, of course Kyro followed and entered with me. There was a patient chair comfortably padded in the center of the room , the right corner housed a desk and a swivel stool. No wall posters, no windows, nothing to look at an distract yourself.
My doctor came in later and took three vials of blood, swabbed my cheeks, got my fingerprints, and a hair sample, had me pee in a cup, and scanned my iris. The doctor left and the room feel silent again. But not for long, I wasn't good at masking my emotions I guess, cause I gave myself away.
"You look sick." Kyro said somewhere besides me.
"Will that effect the results?"
"Dumbass; did you honestly just ask me that?"
I shook my head no. I wanted so badly to take my hair down, to hide behind it. I don't want to be here anymore.
We waited a while for results, but when my doctor came back she wasn't alone. An older man I recognized as the man in charge of this IGSS station on dystopia. His face was tight as he entered, he shook only kyros hand as he introduced himself.
"I'm Collin Palmer, I'm sure you know of me. Neeve, is it?" The question felt like a test.
"Yes sir."
He had eyes like an eagle, they see right through you. It tore me apart.
"We're going to move room before we discuss our findings."
"Sure."
I stood up and my body felt like jelly. I barely pulled myself together enough to move to the new room. Just down the hall was a room with an oak plate on the door, letter at eye level read Palmer. I stifled a shudder rolling through my body as we entered the office.
Palmer sat behind his desk, my doctor took the chair besides him. I sat into the chair in front of the desk. I heard kyros heavy steps behind me, following me, he stopped behind my chair.
"So let's jump right in. Our database found you, we've been looking around and working for thousands of years so we've seen a lot of people past through- our reach is wide." My doctor eased.
"Your name is Neeve Levitsky, born in 3032 you're the last elite Russian alive." Palmer informed.
"And so well preserved-"
"However," Palmer cut the doctor off, "the reason you are the very last one is because your brutally murdered the other remaining-"
"No" I shook my head and eased my voice, "no." I said calmer but with an edge.
Palmer wasted not time in jumping on my fragile state, maybe he expected this kind of reaction. Palmer tossed me a stack of different printed papers- some photos, some file. I only have them a second before Palmer turned his computer to face me before hitting "play" on the screen. 
It was bodycam footage, dated January 18, 3038. I was six. Th police entered the large house after gaining no response. They walked through the kitchen, the bloody living room; they ventured upstairs and into bedrooms loudly. Each slam, every voice echoed as if it was happening again in real time, like I was allowed to relive that situation- that unlocked the flood gates for the memories.
The police found me in the master bedroom soaked- dripping- in blood. My eyes were large huge circles and pupils dilated, my grey hair long and sticky against my shoulders and back. The room was covered, absolutely painted in blood, but no bodies in sight. The body am continued through the room but you could here me being questioned and responding in furious Russian.
"What happened?" The cop rushed, it was terrifying.
"I was scared." A six year old me responded with a spring like giggle.
The body am turned the corner to the bathroom and you could visibly see the way his breath shook through the camera.
"No." I tried to say but it was chocked.
Instead I started gagging and averted my eyes while the video continued playing. But closing my eyes wasn't saving myself from the vivid flashbacks of tearing skin and tearing, gargling blood bubbles.
I reached for the trash can near the corner of the desk, shaking in a cold sweat as I near silently upturned my stomach into the waste in. After I had finished and spit the last away I was offered and accepted the tissues from my doctors waiting hand.
In the video I had never stopped laughing hysterically, not even as they forcibly removed me from the bedroom. I ended up having to be sedated by the time we reached the stairs.
"I didn't-" I tried to say but Palmer held up his hand to stop me.
"You were then moved and questioned. After you were moved into a unit for children in your circumstances. You left that, you picked up and left. The. Last time anyone saw you - or any time you had been captured in cctv- you were spotted sneaking around a deserted burnt city. Then you vanished. No one heard or saw or reported anything. A thousand years later, and agent on patrol found you laying unconscious in an abandoned apartment building after sensing movement. You didn't wake up, remaining unresponsive when you were transported to a high intensive security unit. When you did wake up again, you said you knew nothing. And no one could find anything because it had been lost for so long.
Until today. Look for yourself. The reports are in your labs, that's you. You did that."
I shook my head, but I knew it was true, I could feel the memories burning inside of me. I remembered.
"He's gonna pass out." Kyro said, but he sounded dull and farther away.
"no..." my lips moved but I heard no sounds.
Hands were heavy on the back of my neck and my upper back. They folded me forward, clapped hard on my back to kickstart my lungs.
"Breath Neeve."
I heard his voice clearly, close to me, but I also caught how ragged my breathing sounded. It took several minutes for me to calm down, and several more minutes after that for Palmer to start speaking.
"Listen Levitsky, you're clearly struggling. I've contacted you commands and informed them of this information. Keep your folder."
"You'll be hearing from them. There's nothing else we can do for you." My doctor said goodbye a little nicer.
"Thanks." I numbly said in response.
Kyro helped me up and out of the office. I pushed everything down and felt a tug in my chest.
"Are you okay?" Kyro asked once we were outside.
"As okay as I can be when considering the circumstances."
"So not at all?"
"Not even close..."
we reached the car, Kyro dipped inside and returned with a pack of marlboros. He raised a stick to his lips, lit it, and silently offered it to me. Usually I wouldn't smoke, but the acidic smell seemed grounded. I accepted the smoke and watched his long fingers light another for himself.
"What do you thinks gonna happen now?"
He shrugged and exhaled smoke, " it's a toss. You've only been here six years, but lives quite the life before disappearing into an anti-aging coma for a thousand years. Thats not an easy case. "
"oh god-" I pressed the balls of my hands into my eyes as I sank to a squat next to the car.
"However a cold hearted murder from that long ago might not even matter."
"It wasn't cold blooded."
"What?"
I looked up at kyros confused face and took another drag from the cigarette.
"If it wasn't cold blooded then how did a six year old tear apart four adults like they where tissue paper? What's your motive? Because, and seriously, I've never seen something to that extent. "
I flinched violently from the words, however weak I felt I refused to avert my eyes. Anger bubbles in my stomachs as I narrowed my eyes. Stand your ground , I told myself.
I stood up, crushing the rest of the cigarette under my boot and faced Kyro with rage on the tip of my fingers that itches for relief. I wanted to hit him at least, but I couldn't so instead I wheeled on him with my words.
"I was scared, at six I was terrified, for my life." I was venomous, "two of the adults in that picture abused me senselessly- so much so I had never been outside of the house before that day, ever. The other two adults weren't much better by the way. Being passed off to them was my worst nightmare."
The memories threatened my empty stomachs as they bubbled up, a feel like fire. "One of the men would fuck my tiny body despite every single begging plea. The other man would watch, or more often than not, he would invite and share me with his friends." I sneered, " so no, it wasn't cold blooded, in fact my blood is raging right now. And yes I was scared, I was petrified and so tired of crap day after day after day."
I caught my breath, then partially embarrassed by my word vomit and in desperate need for space I shut myself in the passenger front seat. I needed so badly to clear my head, to sort all of it out. What am I supposed to tell my command when they call for me?
Kyro stood outside for a long while, he smoked 2-3 more cigarettes then ran a hand through his hair several times. He swung himself into the drivers seat and turned the car to life.
"It was out of line for me-"
"Don't." I cut him off.
He nodded and drove away from my nightmare, I watched it fade in the mirror.