Tired ~dnf

chapter three

Tw: eating disorders, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, and yelling (?). This chapter is going to have a summary at the end so if these things trigger you scroll down for a summary, and remember to stay safe loveys :)

Clay woke up the next morning feeling awful. He ate so much yesterday he needed to make up for it today, but how when George is constantly on his tail about eating because of fucking Wil. George wasn't awake yet so Clay went to his office and grabbed his pencil sharpener. He was crying... but it was silent. I deserve this. I ate all of it. I need to make up for it.

[BIG TRIGGER WARNING RIGHT HERE. LIKE REALLY BIG TRIGGER WARNING]

CLAYS POV

I unscrewed the small screw holding the blade in place as I was walking to the bathroom. I shut and locked the door until I heard George getting out of bed. Before George realized what was going on I had already pressed the blade to my skin creating lines of blood. George realized where I was and he came to knock on the door.

"Good morning Clay"

I can't speak without my voice cracking from crying. If I say anything back he would know something was wrong, but if I don't say anything back he'll know somethings wrong. what the hell am I supposed to do? I wiped my tears away and told George that I'll be out in a minute. fuck. My arm won't stop bleeding. I ran it under some cold water and cleaned up as much of the blood as I could then wrapped my arm with toilet paper and an ace bandage. I pulled my hoodie sleeve over the bandage and left the bathroom. He's gonna know. There was no way that George would find out about my arm... but he definitely knew I was upset.

"Clay?" My heart started pounding. Did he somehow know? Did he put cameras in my house? I bet he put cameras in my house.

"Yeah, Georgie what's up" cool. cool. he totally didn't know anything was wrong.

"Can you make some coffee, I was going to but I didn't know how to use your coffee maker" We both let out a chuckle.

"Uh sure," I started the coffee maker even though George was the only one who was gonna drink any.

*beep beep*

The coffee was ready. I was getting the cream and the sugar out assuming that Geroge wanted cream and sugar but as I was setting them down he told me he drinks it black. what a monster. Maybe I don't like George as much as I thought I did. Can I really spend my life with a person who drinks black coffee? George's sleepy face was so cute though. Yes, I guess I can spend the rest of my life with someone that drinks black coffee. It can't be that bad.

"so, do we have any plans for today?" I hesitated before answering.

"Um we can go to the waterpark, or we could stay home and watch movies or something small I'm still tired even though I've been up for while"

"aw did Clay not sleep well with his boyfriend right next to him all night" George was practically mocking me. We both let out a laugh and decided on the movies. The first movie I decided on was Love, Simon. (I know its like stereotypical but I couldn't think of anything else okay)

"Really Clay? Love, Simon?" We and moved closer to each other. I looked into his eyes and he looked into mine. I put my hand on his thigh and asked him

"George, can I kiss you?" He nodded and I kissed him. His lips were so soft, they felt like the feeling you get when you flip your pillow to the cold side. One thing led to another and we were exchanging tounges. Making out during a movie is one of the best feelings. I swear the butterflies in my stomach were having a party or something because I've never felt this way when I've kissed people in the past. Sure I got butterflies but not like this. The movie ended but George didn't notice, nor did it seem like he cared, and neither did I. I pulled away.