Full Count

eighteen

"How much longer do we have?" Anna asks from the backseat of the truck.

"Little over an hour," AJ responds.

Anna doesn't respond but she rolls over and I'm pretty sure she goes back to sleep because she remains silent. She told us before we left the house that she was going to spend most of the drive sleeping which I didn't doubt since anytime we're in the car for over twenty minutes she tends to sleep.

"How do you think this is going to actually go? Like no bullshit." AJ asks me finally.

See I've been waiting for this question. AJ's always so sure in everything, but anything that happens with his own mother. I don't see why he thinks I know Vanessa better than him since you know it is his mother, but I try and calm his nerves as much as I possibly can because nervous AJ doesn't sit right with me.

"I think it'll be fine. I think Anna will get along with Izzy very well."

"That's terrifying."

"Why's that?"

AJ stops at a red light and then runs his hands through his hair. He's thinking.

"What is it AJ?"

He looks at me and then takes a sigh. "This could be a stretch, but what if Vanessa tries and keep Anna? Like we go and Izzy and Anna hit it off and Vanessa realizes that Anna fits into her whole little family and she tells me she wants to keep Anna. Like she offers to keep her. What the hell do I do then?"

I don't know what to tell him. I was kind of hoping he avoided asking me this, but it's one of the first things that went through my mind too when Vanessa invited them to her house for spring break. I realize that AJ's still waiting for an answer.

"I mean I guess you would tell her no."

"Can I even hold her own child from her?"

The light turns green. AJ doesn't jump on the gas like he normally does, but he moves the truck nevertheless.

"I mean I don't know, but I think in this case you could. I mean you could negotiate with her and tell her that she can be in Annabelle's life more often you know. Like, visit on weekends. Make a noticeable change in action and see her more often." This whole conversation doesn't sit right with me. I know AJ wouldn't know what to do without Anna always being in a ten-minute drive of him or in a house he knows like the back of his hand.

"Are you telling me I have to switch off Anna as divorced parents do with their kids?"

"I mean yes and no. I'm not saying she gets weeks with her, but like every other weekend or something, Anna could go to Vanessa's. Or like if every other weekend is too much you do one weekend a month."

AJ nods. He looks calm, but you can tell it doesn't sit right with him either.

I go to change the conversation, but he talks again.

"Do you think I'm overthinking?"

I shake my head no, but he's driving so he doesn't see it. "I mean no. All the same, things crossed my mind when we were sitting at dinner."

"What else crossed your mind?" AJ asks.

I stay silent.

"Katie."

"As easy as she could take Anna from you, she could take you too," I say quietly.

"She wouldn't."

"She could."

"She won't."

"She could pull the whole thing of how you guys missed so much time and she wants you to finish school with her."