Metamorphosis || Edmund Pevensie

Chapter 13: Reasons

Dhruvika spent the next day pondering about what had happened the previous night. When the Narnians saw her pacing the edge of the lake downhill, they thought that she was thinking about Oreius' words, but they did not know what was really running through her mind.

What if Carmis was right? She knew that she wasn't anyone special. Edmund was a King. He didn't owe her anything. She was his subject no matter what both of them thought. Although she believed that Carmis was wrong about him, what if she was right in a way?

Maybe everything that Dhruvika and Edmund had was just a dream and maybe, it was time to wake up. Every moment that she had spent with him was worth every minute of risking their lives. It was worth it. He was worth it. And yet, while flying towards the grounds of Cair Paravel, she knew that she had to end whatever they had before things got out of hand. She couldn't be the one to break his heart and she definitely could not have her heart broken by him. Or herself, even.

She transformed quickly and walked over towards the light drapes flying towards her in the brisk evening breeze. Dhruvika stopped walking immediately when she heard voices inside the room. She hid herself behind the pillar outside and tried not to eavesdrop.

"Not tonight, Su." She heard Edmund say impatiently.

"Look, I know that I tried to-" It was his sister, Susan, the Gentle Queen. She was trying to talk to him and Dhruvika smacked her forehead when she realised that she couldn't have chosen a better time for whatever she had to do.

"I don't want to talk about this!" Edmund groaned.

"I see that you don't like talking about this but I did not impose the idea of marriage on you earlier."

Dhruvika's breathing had stopped for a second, and she scolded herself for that. What was she even thinking? Of course he was going to get married one day! She couldn't see it happening because she was still a child inside but she knew that being the ruler of Narnia, Edmund would have to face the responsibilities that came with it soon enough. She was just an outsider, a third-person and a protector. Carmis was right. She hated to admit it, but the Sorceress was right.

"Look." Edmund started. "I don't want to talk about this because I don't want to get married. Not now. Not ever."

That was a different shock for Dhruvika. What did he mean by that? Wouldn't he want to spend his life with someone? She wondered what was running through his head, just like Susan was.

The elder Pevensie walked towards her little brother and placed a hand on his shoulder. It was a trick that she used whenever he started hyperventilating. All of them had trouble adjusting to their new life but they were sure that they weren't going to find home anywhere else. Narnia was everything for them. 

"I won't talk about this....if you tell me that you will think about it."

He looked into her blue eyes and found it hard to say what he wanted. "I'll think about it. But I do not want to get married. Please." He inhaled sharply. "I can never see myself like that. It is just not meant for me."

"Don't say that. I'm sure that there is someone out there who will make you turn your head." And the look on Edmund's face said it all. "Wait-"

"Alright, I need to finish this book!" He started to gently guide her out when he saw that Susan had figured it out.

"Ed!" She exclaimed as she turned out to stop him.

"We'll talk later." He promised.

Susan was going to argue but refrained from it. She trusted her brother but also knew that his 'later' was never. "Okay. But I want to hear everything and if you keep anything from me-"

"You will tell Lucy, who will start to eat my brain. I know." He laughed. "Funnily enough, I know a secret of hers. There is no way she is going to continue nagging me."

"What secret might that be?"

"I know about her little excursions out of the castle." Edmund smirked. "I'll tell you tomorrow."

Susan nodded. "Get some rest now." 

Edmund sighed as he leaned against the wall after closing the door on Susan's way out. "You can come in now."

Dhruvika's eyes opened wide when she realised that he had known that she was there the entire time. How did he even find out? "Sorry," she said as she emerged from behind the pillar. "I didn't mean to...." Her voice trailed out. Edmund still had the same effect over her even after their time together.

"I know." He smiled, making her stomach do somersaults. Dhruvika opened her mouth to say something before she was cut off by him. "I need to tell you something."

She blinked. He was speaking what she wanted to. "Okay?"

"These past few weeks have been....amazing." He laughed. "But I think that we need to look at reality here."

"Edmund-"

"Please, I'm very grateful for your friendship but you know what I'm talking about." She knew. "Every time I ask you a question, you give me a vague answer. I don't mind it at all because I am like that as well, but you just heard what I'm going through. They are trying to get me to admit my feelings and I cannot do that if...."

"Edmund, I-"

"I like you, Dhruvika."

She couldn't believe her ears. "What?"

"I have feelings for you." He revealed. "I don't know how you feel. I've been trying to deny these emotions but if....if we need to continue seeing each other, I need answers. And I need the truth."

"Edmund." She moved towards him. "I want to tell you everything. Believe me. But I can't."

"Why not?"

"I have my reasons."

"That's not good enough, Ruvi. I wish that it was, but it isn't unfortunately."

She bit her inner cheek. She had been preparing for this the entire day but why did it prick more than she was anticipating. "What does it mean then?" She looked at the floor because she couldn't meet his eyes. She was breaking his heart without even meaning to and she couldn't even talk about it. She didn't know how to.

There was a moment of silence between them. "I don't know."