𝔟𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔰𝔴𝔢𝔢𝔱 // 𝔥. 𝔤𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔯

II. 𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭

Sometimes I wonder why I feel so strong for this know it all witch. What are these feelings? There is no way I like her in a way that isn't platonic. Right? 

I try to convince myself this daily, but it's inevitable to fail. Being back at school means sharing a dorm with her. It means constantly being around her, which is amazing but bloody horrible at the same time.

Ron has a girlfriend. Not Hermione, Lavender Brown. Hermione tries to hide her sadness, but I can see right through her. I know her more than she knows herself. I'm not a stalker, I'm just hopeless.

Boys ask me out sometimes, I always deny. Why do I? It's not like I'm waiting for someone. I'm not gay. I'm not gay. I try to remind myself this as I turn the guys down. But for some reason I feel compelled to the brown haired girl. Not brown haired boy. Girl.

Girl.

~

"Pandora are you even listening to me?" Harry snaps his fingers in front of my face. His green eyes boring holes into my green eyes. "What is it Harry? I zoned out again, sorry."

"I said your dad is going to pick us up and take us to Grimmauld place for Christmas. The Weasleys have planned a trip to visit Charlie last minute.. Cause the war and everything they want to be with him." 

I can hear the heartbreak in Harry's voice as he talks of the Weasleys not being around for the Holidays. I know he won't mind so much once he sees Sirius. I love Sirius a lot, he is a lot like me. He is also my favorite parental figure besides my father since he doesn't tell on me for smoking cigarettes. Remus Lupin is strict when it comes to addicting habits like drinking and smoking. Sirius just shrugs and smokes with me, he knows I struggle. Not about what, but he knows I struggle.

'A terrible and toxic habit'  As Hermione puts it every time I take a puff from one. I can't help but think of her the same way. Addicting, toxic, terrible.

"How was Slugclub Harry? I heard Mione was there to."

"It was brilliant Pandora! You should come to the Christmas party! Hermione could take you since she doesn't know who to bring."

I can feel the color go to my usual pale skin, something Harry notices but decides not to say anything about. "Sure I'll uhm- I'll talk to her Harry." I ruffle his hair a bit before getting up and heading towards the library. 

She is waiting for me at our usual table, honey brown eyes meeting my emerald ones. I give her a soft smile as she waves me over, a wide (beautiful) grin on her face. "Hey Ora, ready for some studying? I know you need some help on potions.." 

She keeps talking about potions nonsense, I don't pay attention though. Perhaps the reason I struggle in this class is because every time she tries to help me I end up staring at her. Today her hair is up in a messy up do. Her tie hung rather loosely around her neck. An unusual site to see since she usually makes sure it's perfect. 

She looks perfect regardless.

We walk back up to our dorm side by side. Her arm occasionally brushing mine, causes me to shiver and move away slightly. As soon as the door to our dorm is closed I flop down on my bed. The other girls we share a room with are nowhere to be seen. Not something out of the ordinary, they are never here anymore. 

"Hey Pandora?" Hermione calls out to me causing me to look up at her. She stands near her bed next to mine. "What is it Mione?" I question, confused as to why she's just standing not doing anything. This girl is always doing something. "Would you mind being my guest to Slugclub?" I can sense the hesitance in her voice for whatever reason. I know she's only asking because Ron is busy with a certain blonde haired girl.

"Sure Hermione, that would be lovely." Her smile brightens as I reply, something I didn't expect from her. She leaps onto my small bed and wraps her arms around me. I was shocked at first but I can feel myself hugging her back almost right away.

"Your the best friend ever Ora."

friend.