𝔟𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔰𝔴𝔢𝔢𝔱 // 𝔥. 𝔤𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔯

I. 𝓭𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓱 𝓸𝓯 𝓶𝓮

Hermione Granger.

Hermione Granger.

Every thought that goes through my mind is her. Only her. And I hate it. I hate it more than I hate Draco Malfoy. Every time I shut my eyes I think of her and it hurts. Hurts knowing that I'm not normal for feeling this way. My final thought before I drift off into a dreamless sleep is 

Hermione Granger. 

~

The burrow is a cozy place, much more cozy than Grimmauld Place where me and my father live at to keep Sirius company. The cold air seeps through the open window of my room on the top floor. Harry lay awake in the bed next to mine. His thoughts are unknown to me but he seems to be thinking hard when I peer over to him. He's probably thinking about Ginny. I see how he looks at her. Like the way Hermione looks at Ron. I wish I was Ron.

I wish I was Ron because he's a guy. He can fall in love with a girl. I'm a girl, I can't. It's peculiar and not normal. My thoughts are quickly put to the side as I hear footsteps shuffling towards me and Harry's door. The gryffindor poster on the back of it blowing softly from the breeze. A knock is heard on the other side, a muffled voice I recognize telling us to get ready and head downstairs. I can hear the sounds of my fathers footsteps retreating back down to the kitchen. Harry tumbles out of his bed and towards his trunk in order to pull together an outfit.

"You seem out of it and it's only 8 in the morning." Harry mutters as he pulls a jumper over his head. "I am out of it I suppose." I reply, avoiding eye contact as I roll out of bed and towards my wardrobe. Harry never knows what to say when the conversation goes a way he didn't expect. Quite the talent he has, making things more awkward than before. "Well go on Harry I need to get changed. I'll walk down with you if you wait out the door."

This jumper smells like her. She wore it when I took her to look at the stars last week. I pull it over my head, trying not to inhale her fragrance left behind on it, if I do I will only hate myself more. After lacing up my beat up combat boots and applying some very messy and shitty eyeliner, I exit the small room and descend down the stairs, Harry by my side. 

"Hello darling girl." My father, Remus Lupin, wraps his arm around me, placing a delicate kiss into my dark brown hair.

Sometimes I wonder where I got my looks from, I look nothing like him. He has a much calmer, peaceful, soft looking face. I have sharp features and a bitchy face all the time. He never would tell me who my mother was. I think things ended badly for them. 

"Hey dad." I reply, taking my seat at the long wooden table next to him and across from her. "Ready for your first day back kiddo?" He questions while pouring pumpkin juice into my glass. I hate pumpkin juice, but ever since I was a child he would give me a glass off it and I never had the heart to tell him I loathed it. I loathe it as much as I loathe her. It's bittersweet.

I loathe her because she makes me feel something I can't explain. 

Vulnerability? 

Fear?

Something. She made me feel something and I hate it because it's so wrong.

"I suppose, still wish you were there though." I sigh. I love my father more than anyone. He is so kind and the fact that his condition prohibits him from continuing to do what he loves makes my blood boil. "I know Pandora I know." He sighs. I look up from my plate, directly into her eyes. Those eyes.

Those perfect eyes.

"So Ora what classes are you taking this year again?" Her voice breaks me out of my trance. Her sweet voice. It's hard to even talk while looking at her, she's breathtakingly beautiful. "Oh uhm same as Harry." I reply, trying not to get lost in her again. 

I failed.

I always do.

Hermione Granger, you are going to be the absolute death of me.